. . . to be irritated by wedding guests food requests?

[GettingImpatientWithThisStuff]

Ugh.

Maybe I'm reaching my limit for wedding planning nonsense but I'm putting a spreadsheet together for our wedding venue with our guests menu choices on it, and I'm finding myself becoming really irritated by some of the requests.

We offered a choice of two starters, mains and desserts, and a veggie option. Very few people have just said "X starter, Y main, Z dessert" - most of them are "veggie starter, Y main, I don't really like desserts so can I have some fruit please" . . . Similarly, people are telling me they don't like onion, or garlic, or whatever.

Of course this isn't aimed at people with allergies or intolerances - naturally we want our guests to enjoy their food and not become ill! But surely we can't cater for every like and dislike? I've never specified dislikes when responding to wedding invitations, as I thought it was dietary requirements rather than pickiness.

AIBU to disregard the "I don't likes . . . "?

A properly done buffet : serving staff, multiple plates of everything
resulted in 110 people each getting the meal they wanted
including the last two to be served (DH and myself)

there was a seating plan so it was not a crush
tables were called up one by one
food was divvied up

Our neighbour at a wedding sat a stuffed toy at a spare seat at the table and insisted on a meal for it. She was well into her 60's and did it to be amusing and cute - ie not a MH thing. Would I fuck waste a meal on a toy.

Another bride I know sent out a FB message asking for dietary requirements and apart from one or two coeliac and vegan (which was no issue as the couple themselves were vegan) one guest came back with the statement that her and the husband are on low carb, low salt diets - and not for medical reasons. Oh, and they only eat ethically sourced and organic meat. Looper.

Tell all unless an intolerence of allergy menu is as stated.they can pick stuff out.cheeky sods.do not bow to requests hunxx

I'm aghast at the idea of the alternate meals. Am I understanding this right? Wally the Waiter gives guests 1, 3, 5, and 7 the beef and Wanda the Waitress follows behind giving guests 2, 4, 6, and 8 the salmon. Auntie Hilda who loathes salmon is guest #2. She asks Uncle Graham, guest #1, if he will swap plates with her. Uncle Graham loathes Auntie Hilda so says no on principle. And so on ...

I like the person early on in the thread who suggested wedding porridge. No-one would ever forget the day, that's for sure.

I have never been to a wedding yet (and been to many) where any choice was ever offered. If one wanted Veg or Vegan one contacted the restaurant personally. If one didn't like an option (mushroom soup in my case at one wedding) I just passed. It is about the Wedding, not the guests, fhs.

Gaspode I gave alternate meals...it was so that there were options on the day itself.

FWIW, I think Uncle Graham and Auntie Hilda are both behaving childishly and really need to suck it up and not play out their sibling rivalries AT MY FUCKING WEDDING!!!!! (waaahaaaa! ;) )

Jesus in a cabbage van I swear next time I am fucking eloping.

I think you learned your lesson giving too much choice :) . However, I have realised as I have got older that my MIL does not mean to be difficult by asking if things have onion in, it genuinely gives her stomach ache; similarly pastry, garlic and spicy foods can be off limits for older people, not because they are unsophisticated in their tastes, but because the acid reflux is more problematic. Maybe none of the older guests have been so rude about their choices - well, as the owner of a trendy 'allergy' that thankfully I am now managing better with, I might have been asking you or the kitchen for odd options that might fit around my long list of suspected triggers. I did realise I was being awkward, but was also not yet adjusted to the restrictions allergies and intolerances impose on going out, and desperately miserable about it.

(tbh though I think it worked out on the day. Can't be sure though as DH 'budgeted' 4 bottles of wine per guest (no, really) and we were all pissed. I don't remember much about it after about noon).

Why are you even asking them? I have never heard this before??. Aside from allergies and vegetarian of course. Don't offer. They get what they get on the day. Eat or don't eat. :)

Tell them to grow up before serving them Wedding Porridge.

Aztec your DH is a genius. 4 bottles of wine per person means all those who drink will be happy, and those who don't can have whichever meal they wish as most people will be too pissed to care about food.

Op, I think you should hand over the spreadsheet to the event coordinator and let them deal with it. If they aren't able to do so, as it may not be feasible to cater to people to requirements and preferences, you could contact your guests options with set menus A, B or C and a veggie/vegan menu along with a note saying that the options aren't interchangeable and that they should only state any special dietary requirements/medical allergies. And then once that's done and dusted, as previous posters mentioned, you can have their choices placed on their place cards and the servers can also have a copy of the seating arrangement and food choices as others have mentioned that some guests may forget what they have chosen and it'll avoid any confusion.

Posters who say that garlic etc makes them feel ill etc. Perhaps they should RSVP saying that they are allergic to garlic/onions as it makes them feel ill?? If you someone says "I don't like mushrooms" your stating a preference not an actual dietary requirement.

YANBU

But why give them any choices at all?! Bugger that.

At our wedding we just had starter, main and dessert. And the veggie option.

That was it. Boom.
No special requests or sauces on the side or leaving this or that out.

I don't get all this multiple choice/pick your main course malarkey.

Just more stress and chasing people up!!

sorry for the hijack, but Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g - great user name. RIP Sir Terry!

Never seen the choice thing either... Like a menu sent with the invitation? Have seen tick here if veggie, though.
There would be a choice offered when seated for dinner. Beef or fish usually.
My worst thing a wedding is those trio desserts. One piece of nice cake, please!

I'd call the wedding off

Yanbu. DD has a bad allergy. Clearly I always specify this though we have been to a couple of things where the hosts have forgotten to pass this on (or the caterers have just been a bit crap about it) and so she's ended up with crisps and fruit. Not ideal when everyone else is tucking into a three course meal but c'est la vie. I often have emergency snacks on me anyway - learned from bitter experience - so she won't starve .

I'm fairly fussy. Wouldn't dream of asking hosts to accommodate. Have occasionally asked waiting staff if it might be possible to have my whatever minus the sauce. Otherwise just get on with it and fill up on bread if necessary. A host's job is not to accommodate every peccadillo. Allergies/veggie/vegan and that's it.

I didn't realise you had invited my children - no onion! Tell them you've arranged for at least one guest on each table to be chief picker out of bits of food they don't like.

Cremefresh - did dementia exist before we called it Alzheimer's?

Eggs are also prohibited as they could turn into a life.

Not if they're unfertilised, as most eggs are.

25 years ago no one had a choice at our wedding either.

All the food was vegetarian

I wouldn't request any adjustments to wedding food personally but I work in events so have organised lots of functions with meals and I've never had a problem getting caterers / venues to make adjustments. If it's as easy as passing the information on to the caterers, I couldn't bring myself to get worked up about it.

It made me so happy when everyone was delighted with the food at our wedding, so I was glad we'd gone the extra mile and ensured everybody got something they liked.

Check it isn't an onion/garlic allergy, then ignore all the special requests. I'm a diabetic and eat yeast free but at a special event, I eat what I get! I sometimes take crackers just in case there's not enough carbs but I don't want to spoil someone's big day with a list of demands.

I would not have given guests a choice. It is your wedding breakfast, not a restaurant.

I recently uninvited some new friends for supper as it happens when I got a note saying one of them didn't eat pulses, mushrooms or eggs.