. . . to be irritated by wedding guests food requests?

[GettingImpatientWithThisStuff]

Ugh.

Maybe I'm reaching my limit for wedding planning nonsense but I'm putting a spreadsheet together for our wedding venue with our guests menu choices on it, and I'm finding myself becoming really irritated by some of the requests.

We offered a choice of two starters, mains and desserts, and a veggie option. Very few people have just said "X starter, Y main, Z dessert" - most of them are "veggie starter, Y main, I don't really like desserts so can I have some fruit please" . . . Similarly, people are telling me they don't like onion, or garlic, or whatever.

Of course this isn't aimed at people with allergies or intolerances - naturally we want our guests to enjoy their food and not become ill! But surely we can't cater for every like and dislike? I've never specified dislikes when responding to wedding invitations, as I thought it was dietary requirements rather than pickiness.

AIBU to disregard the "I don't likes . . . "?

I don't see the requests as being as rude as other people here do

Neither do I. I just wouldn't offer alternatives apart from a vegetarian option.

Is anyone else really nosy now to know what is on the menu?

Oh lord, weddings bring out the absolute worst in some guests people.

At ours we asked people to choose between duck or veggie option (think it was risotto of some sort from memory?), or contact us if these weren't suitable.

We amended 1 risotto for a vegan and added 2 burgers for fussy teenagers; absolutely not a problem as it was all in advance.

We were slightly perturbed then upon checking out of the hotel the day after our wedding, to be presented with a bill for £40 - DHs aunt had declared that she wouldn't be eating the beef - which was in fact duck - and had ordered something completely different to be made specifically for her. She apparently told the waiter to bill it to the honeymoon suite as we'd take care of it for her.

This is why our wedding meal is a roast dinner (choice of meat) with a veggie option.

Everyone likes a roast dinner, let's be honest. Plus, we're having waiters serving the fresh veg and gravy, so people can pick and choose what they want.

It's saved so much unneeded fuss!

Actually just remembered that a couple of the none vegi guests asked for pasta too. That big pot came in handy. 😄

We went to a 'poncey southern wedding' as my dad called it, where the main meal was Couscous and Halloumi salad. My dad was distraught and ended up having sausage and mash like the kids!

Dh had the truffles in the bridal suite.

All was not lost then

Ive never been asked a preference, Ive always had a set menu. When we married over a decade ago we knew all our guests well so knew there were no medical meals required. We checked the number of vegetarians but didn't give a choice. The food was a little unimaginative but suited most people - veg soup starter for all, main was turkey roast, veg option which I chose rather than got opinions or kids meal, pud was Apple pie. Natch it all had fancy restaurants names but throat in essence was what it was. A couple of family mentioned children would eat the adult menu but we just ordered all kids the kids meals as they would also eat that and it was a third of the price (there were a lot of children, about 25% of guests). There were no complaints anyway and no stupid requests

fussy fuckers - them not you

if they dont like pudding then they dont eat it and give to partner

curious, what is the menu :)

Ceecee

You had KIDS at a wedding! How brave of you considering some of the threads here.

Your mistake was giving them the choice.

Ignore that it's a mistake, it's not, you've just got some ballsy guests'

It's lovely to give a choice, we did and thankfully had no strange requests come back. I also love a choice when I'm a guest too.

Rather than ignore the strange requests (because on the day the fussy guests may approach the wait staff and say 'I asked for no XXXX on my dinner').... text/email those concerned and say something like:

'Thank you so much for your RSVP, we are looking forward to you sharing the day with us (or some other arse licking sop). Regarding your meal, the venue only cater the meals as stated in the invitation, if you'd like to change your choice to the other option then please do let me know....'

Some people are incredibly picky. Obviously I want my guests to have a good time, because otherwise, why would I invite them?

But at a wedding or other big event, I'd expect them to eat what they're given or make their own arrangements.

Never mind the bloody venue! That's outrageously bad manners. How about a group email saying "Apologies if I was unclear, the food options are limited to the choices available on the menu."

Exactly this. I offered one meat or veggie, starter was veggie anyway, dessert was one thing. It's about you and family and friends celebrating your wedding, not the food. What pains they sound, one does not order 'off menu'. Group email as above so as to avoid whinging on the day. Assholes.

Oh jeez this drove me bonkers. We sent invites and asked for dietary requirements. We knew that some of our guests were veggie or vegan. My god mother cannot stand potatoes so we asked for veggies and potatoes to be put on the tables not plated.

Some people responses though - no cream based desserts, no lamb, allergy to Brazil nuts, don't like steak, no chocolate, no "leaves" .... aaaaaaaaah!

we went to a wedding recently and the bride made a special effort to accommodate me (I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time - now 34). She sent me the menu and asked me to make sure that I'd eat everything on it (or whether I needed anything adapting). The only thing I asked for if possible was for the lamb to be well done.

How about you share the spreadsheet with the venue and let them sort it out?

It would annoy me too.

I feel very lucky about the guests at our wedding now.

We offered a menu choice - asked guests to confirm the menu choice with the RSVPs - choice of 2 starters, 3 mains, 2 desserts, including vegetarian options. All guests dutifully confirmed their choices with not one cheeky request between them. The venue needed numbers for each menu choice in advance.

At the wedding itself, we wrote the menu choices selected on each placename at the tables to avoid any "I can't remember which I picked but choice A looks best so..." scenarios.

Unfortunately this sort of thing is spreading rapidly - not just at weddings. I took over catering an annual dinner from someone who had run it for yonks. I said I was thinking one of the vegetable dishes (of three) would be x - nothing radical. "oh, if you're serving that I'm not coming." quoth she.

I did wonder how she coped with going to dinner parties and "kitchen suppers" if that were the case - and have pondered it bigly since then. Does she check the menu before she goes (rude) prance out when she finds there's something she can't eat (rude) or what?

I do find fewer people are eating puddings so I do offer fresh fruit in season. But that's catering for 50 not 100.

Good luck OP and have a good one.

Crikey, we had roast dinner with veggie option and apple pie. Was bloody lovely and everyone comments about it to this day.

We had a buffet with many options. I do not remember eating at all.

But it was fabuloso!!!

The last wedding we went to we had a choice of 3 things per meal, tbh I didn't like the sound of any of the mains but picked one then too some snacks in the car.. just assumed that's what people did. I wouldn't have dreamed of mentioning that I don't like this or that. As it turns out the meal was delicious and the snacks weren't needed!

How about you share the spreadsheet with the venue and let them sort it out?

To be fair it isn't the venues issue to sort. Changing si many duffeent dishes voulf involve an increase in price for the OP.

It was this sort if pickiness that made my DSis at her recent wedding give people 2 options. Vegetarian or non vegetarian. (Plus genuine allergies)

Everyone enjoyed it. No issues.

I got married 673 years ago or there abouts , I don't think food allergies had been invented then , it never occurred to us to offer a choice and certainly no mention of a veggie option. I don't think we even told guests what they were having !

Oh OP, this reminds me of our wedding when someone wrote on their RSVP card "no nuts" (no food choices on the card as it was a BBQ/buffet thing). Obviously I assumed he had a nut allergy.

I spent ages looking into nut-free options for all our main and dessert menus, cake, biscuits etc. Contacting venue to ask about nut-free preparation of food etc. Eventually asked DSis (who was closest to him) to call and ask her how stringent the venue's kitchen needed to be with prepping his food (ie. quite how deathly allergic he was), only to find out he wasn't allergic at all and just didn't like nuts!! Given that nuts are usually only a topping and he could have just picked them off whatever it was they might be sprinkled on, I have no idea why he felt it necessary to write it on his RSVP! But there you go...

Tell them it's a reception. not a b***y restaurant!

How rude of your guests OP!

DD got married last month, out of 110 guests' "dietry requirements" we only had 3 nut allergies and 7 veggies. No one else "requested" anything!

I think you need to put your foot down and ignore anything which isn't an allergy.