. . . to be irritated by wedding guests food requests?

[GettingImpatientWithThisStuff]

Ugh.

Maybe I'm reaching my limit for wedding planning nonsense but I'm putting a spreadsheet together for our wedding venue with our guests menu choices on it, and I'm finding myself becoming really irritated by some of the requests.

We offered a choice of two starters, mains and desserts, and a veggie option. Very few people have just said "X starter, Y main, Z dessert" - most of them are "veggie starter, Y main, I don't really like desserts so can I have some fruit please" . . . Similarly, people are telling me they don't like onion, or garlic, or whatever.

Of course this isn't aimed at people with allergies or intolerances - naturally we want our guests to enjoy their food and not become ill! But surely we can't cater for every like and dislike? I've never specified dislikes when responding to wedding invitations, as I thought it was dietary requirements rather than pickiness.

AIBU to disregard the "I don't likes . . . "?

Leave one apple on the "no dessert just fruit" placemat 😂

Tell your guests there are two options
Take it
Or leave it

Having been to a couple of weddings where I missed out on the food because it was something I really didn't like (and I did try, but one I found pretty much inedible, it was just foul.), I had a buffet at mine.

I never said anything or complained though.

Dear wedding guest having spoken to the kitchen staff at the venue, they have said they are unable to comply with your request, should you wish to eat somewhere else before or after the wedding we will understand.
Yours the bride.

YANBU
This drove me mad when I was planning our wedding - and i was a very laid back bride to be! You're buying them dinner after all - they are taking the piss.
Luckily our venue was very accommodating but we did only have 45 guests. My favourite was people asking for dishes that didn't even appear on the menu?!

For one guest that asked for breaded garlic mushrooms (after asking for ingredients for every other choice in about 3 separate texts) I just ignored her and she got what she was given. I knew she wouldn't have the brass nerve to mention it on the day to me... and I was right

For clarity - breaded garlic mushrooms did NOT appear on the menu.

I'm really sick of picky eaters. I agree with others that if they don't like onion or whatever they should simply leave it. And if they don't like the pudding they don't have to eat it. Of course it is different if they really are coeliac, have a shellfish allergy or something, but I'm especially sick of those who say that they have a gluten intolerance.

We had a special anniversary party a couple of years ago and asked if anybody had special dietary requirements. A few were veggies and the restaurant actually offered a choice of meat, fish or veggie for the main course. On the day all of the so-called veggies chose the fish so not really veggies then.

Having said this, my DH actually throws up if he has any brassicas, even if he can't see them, so we do check on the day if there might be anything in the food that would make him ill. He doesn't ask for a special meal but just fills up with bread, pudding, and things that he does like to eat if necessary. We have been known to eat half a meal each then swap plates so that he can eat a full meal.

It's all very well calling people Bridezillas for not pandering to loads of differing requests but the venue have experience in getting out 100 identical covers in 10 minutes. (or 98, one Gf and one veg)
Producing 50 standard meals, one without onion, two without tomato, one with mashed potatoes instead of boiled, one with the peas on the left side of the plate etc etc takes a lot longer and loads more staff.
That's why such requests mess things up

No your not being unreasonable at all. In fact your very kind for offering options, ours was roast beef or f*k off lol

I should also have said that my mother was coeliac (i.e. medically diagnosed, not "intolerant") but was always able to find something on a menu that was fine for her.

Absolutely just ignore them and don't pass the requests onto the caterers either, or you'll end up with a terribly bland meal. Actual intolerances and al]lergies, obviously pass on, but the fussy ones can just bring cereal bars like all sensible people do to weddings.

(I've had too many mini dishes that barely touch the sides at past weddings.)

We went to a wedding it was strange food that we don't usually eat...like ox tongue and cheek. (We are cattle farmers and the tongue and cheek go in the offal bag) So I did feel awkward when I said I didn't like. But I couldn't help saying it was a weird choice. I eat most things. But I suppose what is "normal" food to me may not be normal for someone else 😂 I did have the other menu choice which was still something I wouldn't usually eat. But just picked it over.

In most cases no garlic or no onion are unrealistic requests.

Garlic/onion intolerances are quite common. I just resign myself to a couple days of raging diarrhoea for meals where I have no choice & pack plenty of immodium & an extra pair of trousers (yep, really), but I can understand people who don't want to risk it - especially if they have a long journey home the next day. (And for the record, it is possible to cook without onions and garlic if you need to.)

we had alternate meals - so one person had the beef, the next the chicken and asked on the invites for specific dietary requirements to be communicated to us with the rsvp so we could cater to that.

Despite this we had one of DH's groomsmen ring us up on the morning of the wedding to tell us his fiance had a very severe dairy allergy. One of our wedding photos is literally of me with champagne glass in one hand and phone in the other as I was frantically dialling the venue to see if they could accommodate it at the last minute.

I used to be involved in organising really big events as part of my job. One of the best things I ever saw go out to guests in advance of the event was a note that accompanied the letter asking guests to inform the organiser if they were vegetarian or had any dietary requirements. The note said "not liking onion or broccoli (or any other food) is not a dietary requirement"

Those of you who are laughing at outrageous requests such as 'no onions' and putting 'intolerance' in quote marks clearly have no idea what it's like to live with gut problems.

I've got a couple of friends and a close relative who really can't eat onions and garlic. One says she is fine with properly cooked fresh garlic and onions. The others are visibly uncomfortable within five minutes or so of eating them. One of them gets hideous explosive diarrhorea later on. It does spoil their evening, no doubt. I know they aren't being fussy or difficult. I always cater for them, whether at home, work events (one is a colleague) or when choosing restaurants to go out.

I have intolerance and gut issues myself. Recently my family and I went out for lunch at a restaurant that had assured me it could deal with my own dietary restrictions. Not excessive, and most places manage to deal with it. They didn't. I ended up spending the rest of the day attached to the loo, feeling vile and my whole family had to cancel the rest of the day's planned activities. It's horrible. It's very restrictive, and there isn't any obvious medical solution to my problems.

Please don't be so dismissive and assume it's all made up. So, some wankers 'don't like mushroom', but some of us hate the fuss we have to make if we are to take part in everyday activities.

We went to a wedding recently that had two, preordered, courses. When the meals were brought to the tables the waiters asked each guest which they were having, at least half the people on our large table couldn't remember which they'd ordered ( two hours free bar before meal) and just said which they fancied. Some of the brides close family were on the last table served and couldn't have the meal they'd ordered as they'd all been given out. None of them made a fuss but they were annoyed. So make sure the serving staff have a chart of each tables orders.
Hope you have a lovely day

Quite, Snorkmaiden.

Although I do agree people responding with individual preferences is silly, could I just add another train of thought.

I am what most Mnetters would consider a "Fussy eater". I honestly cannot eat anything that has garlic, mayo or vinegar! It isn't just a case of "Scraping off" or leaving to one side. Just the sight/smell of any of these makes me heave. 30 years ago this was never a problem but in these days of virtually every main course having garlic added and dishes dressed with balsamic vinegar plus many starters have mayo included, it really is a nightmare.

We are going to a close relative's very expensive wedding in September and I feel terrible as I know I will probably only be able to eat dessert - don't know what the menu is but can imagine - and yet the cost will be in excess of £100 per head. I have apologised in advance to B&G and will be taking some cereal bars in my handbag. B&G are fine about it - no doubt my DH will eat my starter and main as I assume the portions will be exquisitely presented but small - but I would much rather be offered 2 slices of bread and the B & G be charged a couple of pounds.

Just to be clear... the issue was not with the dairy allergy, the issue was with the why the fuck did they not mention it earlier.

I have a nut allergy. I carry epipens. I know about allergies, and I know that it is pretty useful to let people know in advance, particularly if they have asked for that sort of information.

Forgot to add that I wouldn't dream of asking for people to make special accommodations for me. Just feel bad about the cost!

Snorkmaiden, that sounds horrible to live with, but surely in the OPs situation you would have RSVP saying you were allergic to onion and garlic ( if that was the allergy) rather than that you don't like onion and garlic. Completely different RSVP and OP has said she's quite happy to sort alternatives for allergies, but not for personal taste.

I got married 673 years ago or there abouts, I don't think food allergies had been invented then , it never occurred to us to offer a choice and certainly no mention of a veggie option.

PMSL, Cremefresh

Mushrooms are forbidden by the Hare Krishna religion according to my sixth form girl who is of that religion. Something to do with being the devil's food. Eggs are also prohibited as they could turn into a life. She's vegan, of course.

Just take the Air Afrikaans approach: