. . . to be irritated by wedding guests food requests?

[GettingImpatientWithThisStuff]

Ugh.

Maybe I'm reaching my limit for wedding planning nonsense but I'm putting a spreadsheet together for our wedding venue with our guests menu choices on it, and I'm finding myself becoming really irritated by some of the requests.

We offered a choice of two starters, mains and desserts, and a veggie option. Very few people have just said "X starter, Y main, Z dessert" - most of them are "veggie starter, Y main, I don't really like desserts so can I have some fruit please" . . . Similarly, people are telling me they don't like onion, or garlic, or whatever.

Of course this isn't aimed at people with allergies or intolerances - naturally we want our guests to enjoy their food and not become ill! But surely we can't cater for every like and dislike? I've never specified dislikes when responding to wedding invitations, as I thought it was dietary requirements rather than pickiness.

AIBU to disregard the "I don't likes . . . "?

OMG OP we had this at our wedding and it drove me totally fucking BATS. Ironically we had two guests with genuine allergies (one coeliac, one nut allergy) and they couldn't have been less of a problem - they just mentioned their allergies on the RSVP, chose the most obviously suitable option, and the venue catered accordingly. But we had:

• 'I don't like onions, can you please ensure there are no onions in the sauce?'
• ditto above but with garlic.
• 'I don't like wine-based sauces - may I have the chicken with something else?' (About chicken in a white wine tarragon sauce. There was also venison in red wine sauce.)
• 'I'm a vegan so the vegetarian option without butter and cheese please' (it was a fucking roast veg filo pastry pie).
• and also like you the 'I don't like desserts - happy to just have some fruit/cheese instead.' (As though they're doing you a favour!!!!)

The onion and garlic ones were particularly troublesome because obviously sauces etc are made in bulk.

As it was I passed the requests to the venue and they actually dealt with them all perfectly at no extra cost. But that didn't stop it irritating the hell out of me!! If it would have cost me more I wouldn't have indulged them.

I'd message back and say venue are offering two dessert options. Would you like X or Y or shall i put no dessert?

If I don't like menu options in these situations I just pick one I know DH will eat and pass it over to him.

I really wouldn't bother passing on any requests other than vegetarian/vegan/allergies

The ones who don't want a dessert, don't give them one

Cater to allergies and intolerances but those who have said 'I don't like dessert can I have fruit' should get dessert or nothing.
Do not incur additional cost catering to these whims.

People will just assume the venue got it wrong if a littkw onion got through on the day. Don't give it another thiught. If they have the cheek to mention it just go ohhhhsorry.

"Please can you confirm your meal choices by tomorrow evening, there is no possibility for alternatives, unfortunately. Anyone who hasn't made a choice will be given the first option of each course by default." (Anyone really faddy can then eat before they come or google the local chippy!)

@WatchaMaCalllit

It seems to be a thing now that venues do indeed want to know in advance how many guests will be eating which dish. My parents recently had a party for their Golden Wedding and came across two venues which had this as a requirement. My DM decided there was no way she was sending out menus and chasing up people for food orders weeks in advance, so decided to go elsewhere.

Veggie/Pesci - you know what I meant!

These responses are really making me laugh - totally brightened my mood. Thank you MNers! Nothing like some shared experiences and a collective eye roll

Hopefully I can just pass the spreadsheet over and the venue will happily deal with it.

(Purple - a couple of guests said something along the lines of "I don't really like desserts so can I just have fruit or something instead please").

Not giving my guests an option except to specify allergies/vegetarian.
There is a kids menu option too if they needed.
My DP and I will choose what we want the courses to be and that's that!

Or just buy some apples?

WE got married last month and I was really worried about my guests "going off piste" so much so that I asked MN to help in wording the invite.
I've obviously got politer guests than you as I didn't have one Cheeky request.
In fact the three vegetarians didn't bother telling me at all, but since I knew they were vege, this wasn't a problem.
The hotel catered perfectly for the one person who needed a GF meal- their starter and main were the same as everyone elses but with their own dressing / gravy, and they even made him his own personal plate of GF canapes for the pre dinner drinks as all but one of the canapes we had chosen were unsuitable.
Two friends with allergies gave me their list of Epipen triggers and none were in the planned menu.

Get new friends

Jesus Christ. "I don't like..." in a response is so rude. Just serve them what they're meant to be given, apart from the allergy people of course.

Are your menu choices normal or pretty obscure? If obscure then fair enough!! But if normal choices, sounds very odd responses.

Thank you for offering the veggie alternative but do please make sure the venue understands this is not fish!!! Many venues seem to not understand this (see previous mumsnet thread on pescatarians)

The guy liked fish!

I organise an annual awards ceremony for 350 guests. it is a set meal, with a vegetarian option. Obviously, we ask guests to tell us if they have food allergies , and cater for this. You wouldn't believe the other requests from people who don't want this or don't want that, and can they have this and that...?
oh, and they can book any number of individual seats, or tables for 10.
"but there's 12 of us - we need a table for 12. You need to provide a table for 12!"
erm, no we don't. We do tables for 10. you can split your group up or don't come!

I have allergies. I didn't get dessert at my wedding, or eat my own wedding cake, the petit fours or the champagne truffles, Dh had the truffles in the bridal suite.

Our vegetarian guests chose to eat meat .

A couple of years ago my role at work changed to involve organising events, something I really enjoy. However... offeing menu choices really does seem to bring the tossers out! I'm not talking medical allergies or vege/ non vege of course, but daft requests and silly foibles.

OP I really feel for you. You've tried to do a nice thing with offering a choice but I agree with others who have said that is an error! Totally ignore anything other than allergy-related requests?

By the way those asking for fruit instead of pud, I wonder if that's what they'd have at home? Genuinely? Doubt it. I stress, these people are tossers. : )

People are cunts. I'm celebrating my silver wedding next month. We had a reception in a private room in a restaurant which did their entire menu as standard so no one had to choose in advance. It would be just like ordering in a restaurant.

I excitedly sent their menu to my mum. I don't know why. Just happy, I suppose. Someone soon pissed on my chips. My mum shared it with someone who immediately came back with the complaint that her children wouldn't eat anything on it. I should have told her to take them to McDonalds beforehand but I was more timid them.

In the end they seemed to have a whale of a time and no one else said a dicky bird because we were paying for their food. If they had a difficulty, they were polite enough not to bother me. Do what you want to do OP.

titty
Because of allergies or fussiness?

I'm a vegetarian who doesn't eat carbs (they make me ill) and is allergic to tomatoes. Most caterers can't cope with that (and I don't expect them to) so easier to take my own. I do tell the bride and groom though!

This is probably why a few weddings I have been to have had chicken, beef or vegetarian options because of so many fussy sods.

I eat anything, so would love something interesting or exciting to eat at a wedding.

You have my sympathy, and I would ignore certainly.

We didn't give anyone any choices. They had a starter, main and dessert and as they were there for the evening as well there was plenty of food for them to have if they hadn't eaten enough in the day. I only took into account vegetarian or dietary requirements and told the venue who arranged a different meal for them. To be honest I couldn't give a shit that my friend didn't like mushrooms which was the starter. She didn't eat it and wasn't offended that I hadn't catered particularly for her but I didn't give them the opportunity to be awkward.

dementedma from another event organiser... yep! And those who can't make a decision without seeing what others are doing first. Grow up!

Like a pp has said, our guests didn't get a choice. There were 2 starters mains and desserts to choose from plus a veggie option and a kids menu. In fact now I think of it we've never had to pick our food before we've gone to any wedding 🤔. We're v v unsophisticated up here it seems 😂

I'd be pissed off too OP!

To those that asked for fruit or something I would genuinely give the restaurant some printed out cards with a picture of fruit and the word something on it. With a note on the back saying don't be a self indulged twatfink