Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off?

169 replies

countdowntocheese · 19/08/2017 00:01

I'm prepared to be told that I need to chill the f out, but would just like to know what people think before I lose my shit when dp gets home.
I'm 39 weeks pregnant and DP has been at a wedding all day - I kindly declined the invite as I've been having a lot of twinges and cramps for the last week and as I don't know anyone at the wedding I thought it'd be better to be at home (just incase).
Anyway, I had no problem with dp going, but did ask him that he just makes sure he doesn't get pissed - just incase I did need him to make a swift exit - and also that he just makes sure his phone is charged - again, just incase I needed to get hold of him (as I say I have had quite a few pains and pangs).
Anyhoo, I was heading to bed about an hour ago and notices dp's keys in the bedroom so gave him a call to.find out what time he was planning to go home, seeing as now I'll have to wait up for him, and his phone is off!
AIBU to be pretty pissed off? I'm 39 weeks pregnant for God's sake and I know he'll have got himself pretty much steaming if his phone has died and he hadn't even bothered to get in touch. Plus now I've got to wait up to let him in which could be God knows what time!
WIBU to give him some shit when he finally stumbles in or am I just being a sensitive pregnant idiot??

OP posts:
Starlighter · 19/08/2017 14:31

I'd be fuming! How inconsiderate and selfish! What if you'd gone into labour?! He'd have been useless to you and your baby.

And with his ex too... jeez, I would not be happy.

I'd make him go to the meal and suffer it with a hangover.

LittleR1e · 19/08/2017 15:22

I'm sorry that he's treated you his way! I too would be enraged! I think I'd make him struggle through the planned meal for today, but equally seeing him do that would probably wind me up too!

silkybear · 19/08/2017 20:06

How did the rest of the day go Op? You said he was usually kind and supportive so I hope he has got it out of his system and has been suitably grovelling. Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy WinkCake

silkybear · 19/08/2017 20:08

My dh is hungover today and this thread has prompted me to remind him that once I get to 36 weeks he will need to be on call 24/7 and able to get his shit together at short notice. So your thread wasn't in vain!

notanotherNC · 19/08/2017 20:49

Wow, he sounds like a right catch!

parklives · 19/08/2017 21:19

Wow, what a dick!
Hope you're ok op.

meltingmarshmallows · 19/08/2017 21:24

YANBU. It's inconsiderate unless of course he's just out of signal. Keys could have been a mistake especially as there's a lot going on for you both at the moment but I totally get why you would feel annoyed!

IDoDaChaCha · 19/08/2017 21:51

melting RTFT - it gets a lot worse!

IDoDaChaCha · 19/08/2017 21:55

Agree with everyone who said he's selfish etc. The whole thing is massively offensive. You go through pregnancy which most of us know isnt a walk in the park and he can't even behave like an adult for one day, after youve had a long conversation and he promised he would. What a cunt. Sorry OP I'd say youve got a man child on your hands. I'd send him back to his mother as she hasn't finished raising him yet... But then again I am long term single and take no shit (or piss...) from no man Wink

happypoobum · 19/08/2017 21:58

I would be absolutely fucking livid. Does he have form for this kind of shitty behaviour?

So you are about to give birth and he is out partying hard with his ex? I would wake him up really really early and insist he goes out. Lots of loud music and singing.

Alternative is you fuck off and leave a note saying "Meet you at the hospital."

You appear to have chosen a selfish inconsiderate wanker as the father of your child.............

gingergenius · 19/08/2017 22:13

Not his finest hour, clearly. Personally, I would expect him to struggle through the family meal with most almighty mother of a hangover, whilst you smile sweetly and proudly show his social media antics to the family. Then ask him, in front of everyone, whether he cleaned up the puddle of puss in the garden, and does he think ex-gf might like to be considered as godmother seeing as they're now so close? Or that could be just me being a cow!!! Whatever you do, I hope he realises the enormity of his fuck up and steps up from now on OP.

Jedimum1 · 19/08/2017 23:41

I wonder whether OP has gone into labour or is still with family or arguing with DH? Flowers I hope you are well and you have a good labour x

PastaOfMuppets · 20/08/2017 06:23

OP, good luck.
He sounds like a dick and I hope he has grovelled, given an appropriate explanation + apology, and it's all ok now.
All the best for the rest of the pregnancy and for when your DC is born.

Mrspiggy456 · 20/08/2017 17:44

No you are definitely NBU. My ex used to drink regularly when I was close to my due date, and I'd go to bed and struggle to sleep as I'd be worrying about needing to get to hospital. It's your first baby, you don't know what to expect and you obviously don't need any extra worries

Wassock · 20/08/2017 17:49

Nothing to add here OP but sending you huge hugs. You must be feeling awful 💐

Sparklyglitter · 20/08/2017 17:49

There may be a reasonable explanation my husband says give him the silent treatment and see what he has to say. "If" it turns out as you think it may have both me and hubby think that's not on!!! Good Luck with everything Smile

Mrspiggy456 · 20/08/2017 17:53

I've just read the whole thread! I hope you're doing ok. I'm generally a laid back person, but I'd have been raging if my ex had been sat with his ex and had no contact with me all night - even I'd I wasn't pregnant! Being pregnant makes it even worse!
Lots of love and luck OP xx

BoomBoomsCousin · 20/08/2017 18:04

Getting pissed and letting his battery die (what on earth was he doing on his phone at a wedding?) is bad and I would be fuming about that. And to be honest, I think leaving his keys at home when he knows he's going to be late back or possibly having to meet you at the hospital was pretty irresponsible.

I don't understand the rage over the ex if you don't think anything went on though. What difference does that make?

Neutrogena · 20/08/2017 18:09

OP - If you cannot get over this very small thing your going to really struggle when the baby comes and the stress levels are raised for both of you.
Let him has his fun - it's not like you'll be giving birth by yourself at home. Midwives will deliver your baby whether OH is there or not.

WitchDancer · 20/08/2017 18:10

I hope all is well and peace is restored!

MmmMalbec · 20/08/2017 18:10

I was absolutely fuming for you with your first post, never mind him coming home shit faced and pissing all over the floor. I would seriously roast my husband alive for doing that. It's not too much to ask that he's at your beck and call at 39 weeks pregnant (which is coincidentally also what I am with baby 2!!). Missing the birth of your child is enormous and despite what anyone might say, you really have no idea when the baby is going to come.

Hope he's grovelling like a dog today xx

Theimpossiblegirl · 20/08/2017 18:23

I hope he has suitably grovelled today, OP.
Flowers

Mumandteacher123 · 20/08/2017 18:24

OP - If you cannot get over this very small thing your going to really struggle when the baby comes and the stress levels are raised for both of you.
Let him has his fun - it's not like you'll be giving birth by yourself at home. Midwives will deliver your baby whether OH is there or not.
Seriously?! How is this a small thing? And it's not about midwives being there or not, it's about the father of her baby acting like a responsible human being.
As for letting him have his fun...he had that at the conception...

Neutrogena · 20/08/2017 18:32

@Mumandteacher123

As for letting him have his fun...he had that at the conception

So he should never have any more enjoyment in life? Really?
That's a very miserable outlook you have there.

fluffiny31 · 20/08/2017 18:52

If there wasn't a valid reason i would of been fuming. I told my dp to keep his phone on loud at work from about 30 weeks. He works nights and stops away. He ignored me when i went into labour at 33w it took me about 8 attempts to get hold of him because his phone was on silent. I was fuming. The worst was i was being transferred 50 miles away and he only just made it in time before i went.