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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off?

169 replies

countdowntocheese · 19/08/2017 00:01

I'm prepared to be told that I need to chill the f out, but would just like to know what people think before I lose my shit when dp gets home.
I'm 39 weeks pregnant and DP has been at a wedding all day - I kindly declined the invite as I've been having a lot of twinges and cramps for the last week and as I don't know anyone at the wedding I thought it'd be better to be at home (just incase).
Anyway, I had no problem with dp going, but did ask him that he just makes sure he doesn't get pissed - just incase I did need him to make a swift exit - and also that he just makes sure his phone is charged - again, just incase I needed to get hold of him (as I say I have had quite a few pains and pangs).
Anyhoo, I was heading to bed about an hour ago and notices dp's keys in the bedroom so gave him a call to.find out what time he was planning to go home, seeing as now I'll have to wait up for him, and his phone is off!
AIBU to be pretty pissed off? I'm 39 weeks pregnant for God's sake and I know he'll have got himself pretty much steaming if his phone has died and he hadn't even bothered to get in touch. Plus now I've got to wait up to let him in which could be God knows what time!
WIBU to give him some shit when he finally stumbles in or am I just being a sensitive pregnant idiot??

OP posts:
Original poster
countdowntocheese · 19/08/2017 01:03

Thanks all - I'm going to try and sleep now, I hope you're all having a good Saturday night!

OP posts:
Original poster
countdowntocheese · 19/08/2017 01:03

Thanks all - I'm going to try and sleep now, I hope you're all having a good Saturday night!

OP posts:
mmmmnuts · 19/08/2017 01:08

Plus now I've got to wait up to let him in which could be God knows what time

No you don't. Just go to bed.

ShoesHaveSouls · 19/08/2017 01:10

Jeez, can't believe some of the answers here! YANBU.

Don't wait up for him - go to bed. Don't get het up about it - try to relax. He's a thoughtless twat.

mmmmnuts · 19/08/2017 01:10

Maybe you should leave a note on the door:

"At the maternity ward. Tried to call but couldn't get through"

Then you'll definitely get a good night's sleep, because when he gets home he'll be rushing off to the hospital rather than ringing the doorbell.

MapMyMum · 19/08/2017 01:19

Id ring the hotel and ask them to pass on a message and tell him exactly what you think of his behaviour then go to bed

MsPassepartout · 19/08/2017 01:20

That is annoying. It'd be perfectly possible for you to go into labour at any time now. And while first labours do tend to take quite a long time, it can happen much faster.

DH missed the birth of DC1 because he was unable to get to the hospital in the 3 hours between me realising I was actually in labour and DC1 being born. But this was unavoidable in our circumstances. I'd have been very cross if he'd missed the birth because he was at a wedding without a working phone.

Could he have run out of battery maybe? Or maybe the signal is okay in one part of the venue but not others? I've had that happen before.

Original poster
countdowntocheese · 19/08/2017 01:28

He's home now - just as I was getting tucked up. I've honestly never seen him so drunk, I'm really annoyed - he can barely stand up and cannot string a sentence together. He's just pissed ALL OVER the bathroom floor and passed out on the sofa. Really really unimpressed.

OP posts:
MsPassepartout · 19/08/2017 01:36

I'd be very unimpressed too. Very very thoughtless of him.

He's clearly not considering the very real possibility of you going into labour tonight or tomorrow.

Original poster
countdowntocheese · 19/08/2017 01:41

MsPasse I'm so angry! He doesn't drink much and is a real lightweight which is why I'd specifically asked him to please watch his alcohol. We are meant to be going for a meal tomorrow with family and from the looks of things he is going to be in no fit state. Also - he quit smoking 2 weeks ago (for the arrival on DC), and has come home stinking of fags with a 20 pack on him. I'm really upset that he's acted so carelessly!

OP posts:
HiJenny35 · 19/08/2017 01:45

Turned up at the hospital at 5:30pm wasn't certain that I was in labour and had baby at 9pm, two weeks early and first baby so certainly don't bank on it taking ages.
YANBU I asked my oh not to drink for the month of the due date, I don't think it's a lot to ask considering what our body goes through in pregnancy. It's really crappy that he's let you down like this. Sorry, the stress isn't what you need. If it carries on too late leave a messaging saying you are in labour, that should sober him up.

Sprinklestar · 19/08/2017 01:46

Well this doesn't bode well for the future. Are you generally happy together?

HiJenny35 · 19/08/2017 01:48

Just seen your update, pissed on the bathroom floor, I'm sorry but you're probably going to have to clean up if he's passed out but I would make him pay tomorrow. Film what he's done on your phone so you can show him how disgusting he was. What a selfish git.

AntiHop · 19/08/2017 01:50

That's really bad behaviour. With going go the wedding when you're due any day, the very least he could do was not get totally pissed. You're right to be angry.

emmyrose2000 · 19/08/2017 01:52

Make sure he's the one to clean up his filthy mess!

squeekums · 19/08/2017 01:59

Id be raging
Seriously some are saying who cares if he thre? Um maybe op who wouldnt want to go it alone. I wouldnt have coped on my own, labour isnt just a check up ffs, its scary amd not always straightforward of course she wants a familiar and loved face there

Oh and not all babys born in 15 hours, i well into labour at 11am, by 2.10 that afternoon dd was born

squeekums · 19/08/2017 02:01

Leave the bathroom floor, close the door and let him clean it up the bloody feral
Or soak it up in a towel and throw it on him
What a disrespectful tool

Original poster
countdowntocheese · 19/08/2017 02:03

I've left the puddle in the bathroom (as much as I didn't want to), so he can see to it himself tomorrow! The worst bit is I'm wide awake now too - I'm also a little concerned about the state he's gone to sleep in (I'm a nurse so always worry) - I've attempted to put him into the recovery position but he's in a very slumped position.

OP posts:
vikingprincess81 · 19/08/2017 02:43

Oh that's not good - and he will go to that lunch tomorrow, as you regale them with stories of how your 'D'HmmP pissed all over the bathroom floor, and came home paralytic when you'd asked him to stay sort of sober.
No sympathy, don't do anything for him tomorrow, and let him know exactly how you feel. That's not on. Flowers

mogulfield · 19/08/2017 02:51

YANBU- I would be furious. Some people have quick labours and at 39 weeks there's no saying it wouldn't happen tonight. I wonder if all these people telling you 'your labour will be long, it won't happen yet' are qualified to do so?
My DH didn't drink from about 36 weeks onwards. Wasn't a big deal as he thought his first born was more important than a few weeks of booze.
I'm fuming for you.

MrsWhirly · 19/08/2017 02:56

Prick

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/08/2017 03:11

He's a total dickhead for doing that. TOTAL.

My Dh did similar but at an earlier stage - I was 37w pg. He went out with his cousin, I said "don't be late and don't get too pissed" - well, he got back in at around 2am, pretty pissed but not as bad as yours.
He couldn't understand my fury - apparently it would have "been ok" if I'd gone into labour, because he'd arranged to call his uncle who would have taken me to hospital. It apparently hadn't crossed his mind that any further company would have been needed - until I said "oh so your uncle would have seen me through labour as well then would he?"

Fair play to him, he did "get it" then, and he didn't get drunk again until after the baby was born. But it was still a dickhead move, and it is with your H as well.

Make him clear up his own piss in the morning. AND make him do whatever it is that he's supposed to be doing tomorrow. Stupid wanker.

Hekabe · 19/08/2017 04:24

Having just given birth i would be a fucking furious, and DH would be woken in the morning with a saucepan and wooden spoon drum. Also leave a note for him to leave you to lie in, and clear his mess up. What a tool. He should have been home early to check in on you. My DH had the odd glass of something on the basis that we could always get a taxi- however I did point out that he would be required the entire labour process (it's not just my baby hey, duel responsibility). He was great about it after that. Be angry. yANBU. But make sure you tell him why you're upset and tell him to grow the f up.

Stressalot42 · 19/08/2017 05:07

Bloody idiot!!

Leave everything! No sympathy for him tomorrow (today now).

Try not to get upset it's not good for you!

I cannot believe previous PP saying let him enjoy one last night....he's not going to bloody prison! Also he has bloody responsibilities right now!!

honeysucklejasmine · 19/08/2017 05:47

Oh ffs. How pathetic. He needs the riot act reading tomorrow.