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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with this topless lady?

581 replies

user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:09

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up?? Smile

OP posts:
elliebound1975 · 19/08/2017 14:13

Seriously why do some women feel the need to villifiy others for showing parts of their bodies. A women who is confident should be congratulated. There is a new thing to attack each other to avoid the fact that men do it all the time. Get a grip of your life. A woman's body is beautiful and you need to take a look at why you would find a natural thing so disgusting. I sunbathe topless, I breast fed my child and I like to wear clothes that accentuate them. This just shows you have body issues and are in need of help.

falange · 19/08/2017 14:18

Everyone saying chill, it's no big deal, stop vilifying women is right. But I still don't like it. Put them away love is what I always think and I'm as entitled to think that the same as others are to think that it's ok.

Stillwishihadabs · 19/08/2017 14:19

Why not ? Breasts are just another part of the body, the fetishisation of breasts is a big reason bfing rates are so low in this country.

ButtHoleinOne · 19/08/2017 14:22

^your not I wouldn't be happy if my children had to see a topless women its note right. 😮I'm shocked at how many comments are saying chill your on holiday and all that dribble when you can bet they would feel the same. There's beaches for people who want to be naked they should use them if that's want they want to do but not put it in everyone's face who don't want to see it.
I'm understanding that everyone has there own views but come on when there's young kids???? Why would that be ok for them to see^

Because breasts aren't an issue? There are naked beaches but those women aren't naked. They are in an appropriate beach for toplessness. if you have a problem with it then you need to go somewhere else

For the record I give no fucks about my kids seeing some boobs, I regularly walk around naked. And I used to swim in beaches with boobs all around me as a child. I was not even slightly upset by the them

DodgyGround · 19/08/2017 14:22

Haven't rtft so sorry if someone else has said this already, but I think I can understand what you mean OP, based on the knowledge that no female goes to a swimming pool topless do they? If it's ok by the pool outdoors, why not inside the pool indoors? It does seem like double standards to me.

mum2benicole · 19/08/2017 14:24

It's not about that tho really it's the fact that young kids are there it's a family resort kids of all ages go strip bare on an adult beach where people who don't want to see can have the family holiday
There's a time and a place 😲

ButtHoleinOne · 19/08/2017 14:27

Most children will have seen breastfeeding, it's not dirty or sexual.

Stillwishihadabs · 19/08/2017 14:28

I think it's really important that children see normal adult bodies of all ages, shapes and sizes. Otherwise their frame of reference is airbrushed made up, hairless perfection. This is Anglo Saxon Puritanism at its worst IMO

ButtHoleinOne · 19/08/2017 14:30

I literally would prefer my children to see breasts of women from all sizes and shapes than for my sons (and daughter) to see them in porn for the first time. If you thought it for four seconds you'd agree I'm sure.

I hate that people put their own perversions on children. Why tell her that her body with breasts made for children is so vile to look at it?

You know what pisses me off? People who out their 3 year old daughters in tiny bikinis. They should think what kind of message they are sending on a family beach. its a fucking disgusting one

mum2benicole · 19/08/2017 14:31

So it's ok for children to see unclothed adults??

LubiLooLoo · 19/08/2017 14:31

Stop sexualising breasts! They are udders ffs. Breast are not the same as penis' or vaginas. They aren't sexual organs. Stop shaming them... it's really suckky.

ButtHoleinOne · 19/08/2017 14:41

So is all flesh an issue then? Arms? No why not?

Why are only certain people required to hide their chests? they are only larger because of their ability to be used for feeding a baby

Dashper · 19/08/2017 14:43

This reminds of the two women giggling behind me at the pool recently because I chose to change in the open central area of the women's changing room rather than a tiny cubicle. "And to think, I normally bring DS in here". Idiots.

kittybiscuits · 19/08/2017 14:43

I would be more worried about my kids seeing the spelling and grammar on some of these posts than a pair of breasts!

ButtHoleinOne · 19/08/2017 14:43

Did you breastfeed mumtobenicole?

EB123 · 19/08/2017 14:44

It wouldn't bother me. I used to get mine out to sunbathe when I was younger. I couldn't care less about my sons seeing someone sunbathing topless either, tbh don't think they would even notice.

ButtHoleinOne · 19/08/2017 14:44

Dashper did they understand the point of sex segregated changing rooms? Confused

Siwdmae · 19/08/2017 14:46

Asshole?? A sexual organ? It's only job is for shitting out of.

Let's just ignore the gay population, shall we? Hmm

I think being prudish about nudity is very specific to certain cultures/countries. I remember taking a school exchange to a Scandinavian country and the sixth form girls stayed at their pen pals' homes. On the first night, one family took the English girl into their sauna. They all trooped in naked, my girl kept her underwear on. She had a very awkward conversation with the stark bollock naked dad. Grin Bless her, I think she remained very composed given how unusual the situation was for her.

Stillwishihadabs · 19/08/2017 14:47

It's so depressing it just seems like all the gains of the 70's are disappearing :(

mum2benicole · 19/08/2017 14:48

Buttholeinone yes I breastfed but I made sure I was always covered up I got loads of negative comments on how I would breast feed in public areas but I never once had any flesh showing I think it's totally different

Stillwishihadabs · 19/08/2017 14:50

I think mumtobenicole is on a windup "I made sure I was covered up". I don't know any experienced breast feeders who have that attitude.

RyvitaBrevis · 19/08/2017 14:53

I think you're being given a hard time, OP, and this discussion has shown that there is not total clarity about whether topless sunbathing is the accepted convention in certain places. If you don't want to see bare breasts at a family resort, you would be safe in the USA. It's not the done thing there.

mum2benicole · 19/08/2017 14:54

Attitude ? I loved breastfeeding I wasn't ashamed of it or had any negative feelings but people quickly made comments about it I just think on a family holiday people should respect that there are familys there and should take note about it
Everyone has there own veiwing on things

KnightofWands · 19/08/2017 14:56

Yep YABU

Stillwishihadabs · 19/08/2017 14:57

The keep em covered attitude, I think it's oppression, if men breast fed there is no way breasts would be thought of as sexual or that they should be covered up.

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