to be annoyed with this topless lady?

[user3785022135267845922]

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up??

I'm old and raddled now, but when I was younger I had NO tits (32AA until I got pregnant), but I was considered to have great legs (I'm tall so they're long and I used to be skinny) and was also sometimes admired because I have wide hips so (without anything on top) my body was kind-of a figure of 8 (on top of long legs). None of it mattered a jot to me, I was so embarrassed by how tall I was, I stopped down and hid under baggy clothes. This is just what other people used to say to me about my body. (as in, these were things some men would sometimes admire and other women would sometimes say they wished they had, but I wasn't very gorgeous. I'm not pretty).

But my parents were nudists, so I went on loads of naked holidays as a kid.

And, bugger me - DH loves getting his kit off too. So I've been on loads of naked holidays as an adult as well.

So firstly, having been in places with naked people all my bloody life, I can promise, I've never seen an erection in a public place.

Secondly, a small covering (on whatever body part) is a LOT sexier than a naked body part. It's the mystery that makes it sexy. A thong bikini (which basically shows everything anyway) is sexier than no bikini at all.

My pet hates are (a) very young girls in bikini tops. I really hate these. Just let them wear the bottoms! They ride up in any case, and they're just inconvenient. Don't bother!
And (sorry, MN, loads of you are going to hate me) (b) I hate a waxed or shaved genital. To me it's like trying to look like a child when you're a grown up. It's your right, it's your freedom. Lots of you love it. LOADS of your partners prefer it. I find it ikky and quite disturbing.

But tits out on a sun lounger? I probably wouldn't even notice!

sorry, should say that my point in describing what my body used to look like was that I'd have rather not got my tits out because I was embarrassed about how small they were; but in everyday life the whole world saw my legs because a skirt that was a perfectly respectable knee-length on my friends was little more than a pelmet on me.

To the person who said would it make a difference if it was the daughter seeing the mum sunbathing topless, no I don't think it does, because it's just about having appropriate boundaries with your children, and for me, being naked in front of them when they are past a certain age crosses that boundary. You can say that makes me a prude if you like, but again I will point out that random nudity I don't have a problem with, but I do feel it's a different issue when it's your mum or dad you are talking about.

As PP said up thread, I can't believe this is a new shock to you. It feels like I spent most of my twenties with my tits out. I was taught only to do it if someone else was, so much less in recent years which is a real sadness to me (guess it is the rise of the mobile phone as PP said). Also we went to Norh Ameixca last yea and they are solo much more prudish. We recently had a 16 yo American (girl) to stay who really couldn't believe people ever used to do it- so sad.

I live in Spain. There are tons of topless women at the beach of all shapes and sizes although I have noticed it seems to be slightly less common than it used to be. I think it's quite healthy for people to see what boobs actually look like rather than an idealised sexualised version. I have even dared to go topless myself a few times and no gives a fig. That said, a few weeks ago there was a young woman with a very slim pert figure playing topless bat and ball with her equally young pert boyfriend. I'm sure much of the beach quite enjoyed their game! Good for her though.

I wouldn't sunbathe topless because I wouldn't be comfortable.

Think those who are comfortable should go for it.

I think a lot of people are the same which is why most people agree it is ok but there is only 1 at the pool doing it.

Only in the UK would we have such a debate I expect.

As to why the woman is the only one topless, perhaps the fear of being photographed or breasts being judged (shape etc) puts other women off doing so.

“When I was a teen (in the 80s) it seemed like no-one wore a bikini top at all...but it's many years since I saw someone sunbathing topless. I have often wondered if times have change or if I just spend my holidays in different places.”

Same here. We were in Sicily recently and I didn’t see any topless women at all. Last year in Orlando I didn’t see any, but I know it is the done thing over there. I haven’t seen any topless sunbathers on previous holidays in Italy, only saw a couple on the beach in Crete and only one in Corfu, but they put their bikini tops on to go into the sea. Is it more of a “thing” in Spain?

“But this whole debate is odd. Ask if it is okay to go shopping in pyjamas and you would get a very different response. But it is apparently unacceptable to wonder if it is inappropriate to show a part of the body that is definitely considered sexual (especially by teenagers) in a family resort.”

That’s an interesting point Postage, and so is yours TeethMalloy. Your point about camera phones and social media is also interesting Postage

Women sunbathing top less is quite common in Mediterranean resorts and along the coast there.
On this year's holiday there were loads of women wandering around top less. Equally, there were quite a few kids swimming/playing naked. And nobody batted an eyelid. They're just bodies.

It's not for me, but I say good on them.

Are there countries where it is more predominant? Or resorts?

A few posters upthread, and so have I remarked that we haven't seen topless women for a few years. Admittedly we tend to try and go to quieter, less crowded places, and haven't been to France or Spain/Spanish islands for years. We have been to several places in Italy and it doesn't seem to be the done thing there.

I've seen lots of topless women in the Spanish islands especially more quiet beaches, in Lanzarote, Ibiza & Formentera. Also in Mykonos (Greece). And I've seen naked bathers on all these islands.

Nudity & topless sunbathing is also the thing on more isolated Dorset beaches such as Worbarrow bay, part of Hengistbury head, Studland etc.

Btw I personally don't go topless or naked because I think I look better in a bikini but I envy those who have less inhibitions.

My sister goes topless when I'm with her though but she puts her top on to swim.

Certainly not as common as it once was. On holiday in Portugal this year I only saw about 3 women topless in a hotel of hundreds.

The first time I saw dozens of topless and naked people abroad was at Illetes in Formentera.

A stunning beach which is one of the best in Europe. Lots of foreign model-types & rich playboys who come straight from their Sunseekers to bathe there. Seriously it's like a Super yacht park out to sea.

I was envious of the women's lovely looks & figures and their carefree attitudes.
It's a beautiful place but not really for families as it's difficult to get to.
Apparently they filmed the old Bounty adverts there (random fact)...

^I find it sad that so many people say.. i would be i couldn't subject other/Don't have the tits etc
The size/hape of breasts are irrelivant topless sunbathing isn't just for perky young breasts.. that concept just adds to the sexulisation of breasts^

Women are taught to put themselves down and are constantly body shamed (see pp saying heyve never seen a topless woman who wouldn't have looked better with a top on ) so I understand why they feel that way.

So many older women won't even wear a swimming costume in public. As an over weight woman I used to dread wearing swimming costumes and would usually wear shorts and a shirt over it but I've taught myself to get over myself for the sake of my daughter. I don't want her to have my hang ups.

I agree with men and women both covering sexual organs (penis, labia, asshole)

Asshole?? A sexual organ? It's only job is for shitting out of.

Well, Gherkin, with that logic, breasts are not a sexual organs as their function is to breastfeed and have no function in a sexual intercourse. What a culture and a society "finds sexual" beyond reproductive organs is constructed. In some cultures, the hair is very sensual, in other cultures, being bare chested for all sexes is just the norm, etc.

No not a sex organ but for many reasons (hygiene not the least) I think we can all agree assholes should be kept well away from everyone

Not disputing that Jedi, but that doesn't make them a sex organ. Finding them sexual is different, anything can be sexual. I know someone who used to like his arm getting tickled a certain way, it didn't suddenly turn arms into sexual objects.

It's sort of expected when abroad isn't it? I wouldn't bat an eyelid personally.

Although I did some years ago one Sunday afternoon at a local park, full of families and children at a woman who was topless. It wasn't even that warm!

When I was 19/20, I went on holiday with my family (mum, dad, two younger brothers and boyfriend - now husband). I sunbathed topless around the pool or on the beach as did my mum. They're just boobs.

I've sunbathed (and swum) topless on several public beaches in the UK. Never received any adverse comments.

I remember once though at Sandown on the IoW. Was sitting there with friends when a well endowed woman wearing only a thong jogged past with her dog. People were quite justifiably upset...

...it was a dog free beach!

Most European countries topless sun bathing and being in family places is totally normal. Brits are pretty prudish about it. If i dont like it i just dont look, but then to me boobs are just milk bags so i really dont care.

Glad

"but then to me boobs are just milk bags"

I think to most women who have breastfed they would see it this way. I wonder if others do as well?

No your not I wouldn't be happy if my children had to see a topless women its note right. 😮I'm shocked at how many comments are saying chill your on holiday and all that dribble when you can bet they would feel the same. There's beaches for people who want to be naked they should use them if that's want they want to do but not put it in everyone's face who don't want to see it.
I'm understanding that everyone has there own views but come on when there's young kids???? Why would that be ok for them to see