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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay friend back?

354 replies

Forevergazingupwards · 17/08/2017 18:58

Going through a bad break up and asked to see friend but she was busy that night and invited me to go with her to London the following weekend to visit a mutual friend.

I asked her about train tickets and at the end of the week she bought and paid for us both.

The night before my grandma died and so I didn't go. Now a month later and friend is chasing up the money for the train ticket. I don't think I should have to pay, aibu?

OP posts:
Figgygal · 17/08/2017 20:25

Of course you should pay her if she's asking you.

notapizzaeater · 17/08/2017 20:26

Sorry for your loss. It your friend might not be Able to afford the train ticket.

buttercup54321 · 17/08/2017 20:26

Of course you should pay!!!!

OnionKnight · 17/08/2017 20:28

Why is this even a question? Yes you should pay.

ZerbaPadnaTigre · 17/08/2017 20:28

I think OP would say how much the ticket cost if it was a reverse. I reckon £50.

HoneyIshrunktheBiscuit · 17/08/2017 20:28

Yabu

RainbowPastel · 17/08/2017 20:31

You must pay her back. It doesn't matter what is going on she shouldn't be out of pocket.

sparechange · 17/08/2017 20:31

I'm sure I saw a thread recently which was the other way around, and the friend was complaining she hadn't been paid back

Hmm
chowmeinchick · 17/08/2017 20:34

You definitely need to pay her back.

It's very sad your gran died but it shouldn't be an excuse not to give her the money you owe. She's probably waited until now to even ask, and still feels awkward about it, but needs it.

Where's the line of being able to use sadness/pain as a reason for not paying for something.

JaneDoe99 · 17/08/2017 20:35

Sorry if this is obvious but what's a reverse?

user9512736123 · 17/08/2017 20:38

A reverse is where it's the opposite scenario - on this thread the person posting seems to be the person who didn't use the train ticket but if it's a reverse then the person posting would be the friend who bought the ticket.

BlackJesus · 17/08/2017 20:38

uh yes...YABVU. how does you going through a shit time mean she should be out of pocket? genuine question, how does that work in your head?

user9512736123 · 17/08/2017 20:39

^but pretending that they were the person who didn't use the ticket

SheSaidHeSaid · 17/08/2017 20:40

Definitely pay your friend back, I can't believe you have to ask.

JanetStWalker · 17/08/2017 20:43

Of course you should pay, amazed you need to ask.

JiminyBillyBob · 17/08/2017 20:48

Are you mad? Why on earth would you think you wouldn't have to pay her back? Don't be ridiculous!

MarklahMarklah · 17/08/2017 20:49

I'm sorry for your loss but you owe your friend money and to think that she ought to let you off because of bereavement is unreasonable.

My father died when I was in the middle of doing my Masters' course and I had to take some time out to arrange his funeral, and to clear & sell his house. I didn't attend college at this time, but I still paid. Similarly I paid all the expenses that were outstanding at the time of his death.

londonrach · 17/08/2017 20:52

Of course you pay. Yabu. Sorry about your gran.

amusedbush · 17/08/2017 20:56

I just feel a good friend wouldn't chase this up when I'm going through such a shit time.

A good friend wouldn't ignore debts and use their deceased granny to get out of them. Of course you need to pay her! Your situation isn't her fault and you owe her the money.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 17/08/2017 21:01

I just feel a good friend wouldn't chase this up when I'm going through such a shit time.

She didn't it chase it straight away.

It could very well be money she can't afford to lose.

Twistmeandturnme · 17/08/2017 21:02

If the ticket wasn't used she should get a refund. You should pay the £10 cancellation fee.

Mysteriouscurle · 17/08/2017 21:02

I'm sorry about your gran but if you dont think you should pay why do you think your friend should pay? Genuine question

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 17/08/2017 21:04

YABU.

Sorry you are going through a bad time. But that's not your friends fault. You need to pay up asap.

Mysteriouscurle · 17/08/2017 21:05

A good friend would not leave someone out of pocket either. If you were my friend I would never pay for anything in advance again for you

Hygge · 17/08/2017 21:06

You are being unreasonable, and you have to pay her back.

I'm sorry for your loss, and that you were already having a bad time because of a break up, but that doesn't mean your friend can afford to cover the cost of your ticket.

You need to pay her back. If you don't you may also lose a friendship and she sounds like she has tried to be very supportive to you.