To not have gushed praise for stopping smoking?

[StrongerThanIThought76]

Recently discovered that a very good friend blames me for the breakdown of our relationship because I wasn't gushing about her stopping smoking.

She stopped on the day of life-changing cancel surgery that smoking was declared to be the cause of.

3 years previously she had a heart attack that was caused by (declared by the cardiologist after going through her entire history) you guessed it, smoking.

I was there whilst she was having the heart attack, and whilst she was going through investigation, diagnosis, treatment and recovery from the cancer.

I am a non-smoker and with many friends and family have been trying to get her to stop for literally decades.

So, AIBU for not gushing about her quitting?

YABU. Partly because the tone of your posts is unpleasant but also because if your focus for so long was on pushing her to give up smoking I can see why she expected a good reaction when she did. It's like you were there to point it out when she fucked up but not to praise when she achieved something (and yes it is an achievement whether you think so or not - I have never smoked and still have the empathy to appreciate that).

It reminds me of a "friend" who frequently commented on the state of my teeth, both before and in particular during corrective action, but has never mentioned my now-perfect teeth since they've been fixed.