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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think kids shouldn't sit on the tube

107 replies

JSBF · 16/08/2017 17:24

I get on the London tube every day to get too and from work always during rush hour. There will often be little kids on the tube too. Am i being unreasonable to think that small kids (i'm talking small enough to be carried) shouldn't have a whole seat to themselves, when they could sit on a parents lap? The other day a lady plonked her 1/2 year old on the seat and then the baby decided to crawl on to her lap and she said "aw you can never tell if they'll want their own seat or not" and kept her on her lap so she could then breastfeed, but kept the baby's belongings on the seat so people couldn't sit down meanwhile there are people standing who could be using that seat.

I think what is most annoying is that the kids sit down, climb up on the seat, get down from the seat so clearly aren't interested in sitting down so it's not like they're tired/want to rest. I am not saying kids should have to stand on the tube, as I get that they're too tiny in the crowded carriages and they'll get tired easily, but is it unreasonable to think, if they can, that the parents should let them sit on their lap so someone else who might need it can take the seat instead?

OP posts:
theredjellybean · 16/08/2017 17:26

Completely agree... And older kids around 10 for instance much more capable of standing than me who has been at work all day....

YellowLawn · 16/08/2017 17:27

yanbu
small dc can sit on laps, however some need to sit. it's much safer.

Original poster
JSBF · 16/08/2017 17:28

theredjellybean thank you, i'm glad i'm not the only one! It's just so annoying when they're messing around and you're staring at their seat with throbbing feet and a sore back and you'd do anything to sit down! I feel like no-one would ever ask a child to move though - i don't suppose that children are included in the need for a priority seat are they?

OP posts:
Glumglowworm · 16/08/2017 17:28

If the child is on the parents lap they are BVU to leave bags on the seat and prevent anyone else sitting down

RhiWrites · 16/08/2017 17:30

A baby or toddler can go on a lap but older children might not fit. They get tired more easily than adults and could find it harder to keep their balance.

First come served served for seats - unless you a person with a disability.

I dislike the attitude that children are second class citizens.

Original poster
JSBF · 16/08/2017 17:30

Yellowlawn yes I completely agree it's much safer. I sometimes fall over when the tube halts, so I can imagine that a small child needs to be seated to avoid falling/being stepped on. But I also feel that if they're able to sit on laps then they should as it means more space for everyone! Especially kids that are always trying to climb on to the mum or dads lap anyway

OP posts:
Obviouspretzel · 16/08/2017 17:30

The seat is for humans to sit on. A child is a human. Your need for a seat does not trump theirs.

Original poster
JSBF · 16/08/2017 17:32

Rhiwrites I never said they were second class citizens, and i apologise if that's what you got from my message. But it's very frustrating when an elderly person gets on the tube and they are not offered the seat which is being occupied by a child who is standing or kneeling on the seat! I don't have an issue with older children who are using the seat appropriately. It is those who use it as a playground not sitting properly, or babies who are plonked on a seat when they could be on a lap

OP posts:
Witsender · 16/08/2017 17:32

A child of 6 say is far better sitting on a seat than standing, but may be too big for a lap. I don't tend to get bothered by kids sitting on a seat...they are humans too tbh.

squoosh · 16/08/2017 17:32

I dislike the attitude that children are second class citizens.

I dislike that attitude too.

But I don't see that attitude from the OP.

YANBU OP.

stitchglitched · 16/08/2017 17:34

I would always have my toddler on my knee and never take up a seat with bags. But my 9 year old has additional needs (not visible) and would struggle to maintain his balance and get distressed at being squashed up against strangers so needs a seat where possible. The situation you describe sounds selfish though.

RhiWrites · 16/08/2017 17:35

Ah. You see OP you said that kids shouldn't ever sit on the tube and then used the example of this one baby.

I've seen over and over on mumsnet that children don't pay so shouldn't get seats on tubes and buses and that's what I think is unfair.

Original poster
JSBF · 16/08/2017 17:35

Thank you squoosh.

stitchglitched - absolutely, and i'm not saying older children should have to stand either! I was talking about small babies and toddlers mainly (perhaps should have specified that more). I would never expect a 9 year old to stand during rush hour as it can get so crowded! But I would also expect that, if a 9 year old had a seat, they'd be using it as a seat and not as a climbing apparatus

OP posts:
glitterlips1 · 16/08/2017 17:37

I dislike the attitude that children are second class citizens.

^This^

Original poster
JSBF · 16/08/2017 17:38

Rhiwrites sorry no that's not what I meant. It's just that every day I see children who are small enough to be carried around and on to the tube (as in babies) who are then given a whole seat to themselves when they could still remain on a lap. Obviously if the tube isn't busy they can have as many seats as they want, but it can be frustrating seeing people who need a seat denied one because a baby is sat down and then keeps getting off the seat and on again etc. I also sometimes don't think it's that safe for a baby to sit on a tube seat by themselves as if it jolts they can't keep themselves up as well as an adult! Hopefully you understand my point now. Children aren't second class citizens and deserve a seat as much as anyone else. But if there is a way they can give up a seat and sit on a lap then surely this is not unreasonable?

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 16/08/2017 17:39

Completely agree... And older kids around 10 for instance much more capable of standing than me who has been at work all day....

Many, many people have jobs that require them to sit for most of the day ... many 'older' kids of 10 have been on their feet a lot of the day if they're out and about on the tube ...

Everyone is different. You have no idea who is or isn't more capable of standing than you.

squoosh · 16/08/2017 17:40

Personally I find it easier to keep a small child in one piece if they're on my lap anyway. Giving them a seat of their own seems to increase the chances of a mini disaster such as them bouncing off their seat.

LostInShoebiz · 16/08/2017 17:43

Under 10s don't pay so you could argue they are a bit less entitled to a seat than a paying customer. (Freedom passes don't cover tube journies)

500internalerror · 16/08/2017 17:46

I was thinking about this the other day, as I was feeling guilty that I can't fit my teenagers on my lap anymore (but nobody had any visible greater need, or asked, or looked like they wished they could ask). They're paying & theyre humans, so providing no one had a greater need, they have every right to a seat. I'd never have dreamt of giving my kids their own seat when they were little though, they always sat on my knee.

ChilliMary · 16/08/2017 17:54

Where possible the parents should have their kids on their lap. My 9 year old will stand if there is no space, or some times just sits on my lap. I've seen very elderly passengers, and even a visibly pregnant women, fobbed off by parents who refused to put their small children on their laps, which they could have such easily done - such total plebs!!

littlemisssweetness · 16/08/2017 17:59

I babywear and have a toddler- I can't exactly sit him on my lap with his brother right there nor is he steady enough to stand on his own yet, so yes I will put him on the seat beside me (although we don't travel at peak times to try avoid it being an issue)

WhooooAmI24601 · 16/08/2017 18:03

DS1 is 11 and won't sit on the tube unless there's hardly anyone there. DS2 is 6 and would sit on our laps where possible or stand smartly. They both offer their seats to female adults if it's particularly crowded. Not something I've pushed, particularly, they've just watched others do it and followed suit.

Mittens1969 · 16/08/2017 18:05

Witsender - I thoroughly agree, some posters have this weird idea that children shouldn't sit down on the tube or on buses, because they haven't paid for a seat. But if this is so, then logically elderly folks shouldn't be able to sit on buses because they get a free bus pass. Now that isn't what I think at all, I'm just demonstrating how silly that argument is!

In this instance, though, the OP is not saying that. She's saying that a young child should sit on the parent's lap to make space for another passenger. That is most definitely not U.

AntiHop · 16/08/2017 18:07

lost freedom pass can be used on the tube.

nellieellie · 16/08/2017 18:08

I was brought up to always stand up for a grown up on public transport. Very young children unsteady on their feet need a seat to be safe - or a parent's lap. When my children were about 4or 5, they would always stand up for a grown up. Shows respect, and teaches manners.