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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think kids shouldn't sit on the tube

107 replies

JSBF · 16/08/2017 17:24

I get on the London tube every day to get too and from work always during rush hour. There will often be little kids on the tube too. Am i being unreasonable to think that small kids (i'm talking small enough to be carried) shouldn't have a whole seat to themselves, when they could sit on a parents lap? The other day a lady plonked her 1/2 year old on the seat and then the baby decided to crawl on to her lap and she said "aw you can never tell if they'll want their own seat or not" and kept her on her lap so she could then breastfeed, but kept the baby's belongings on the seat so people couldn't sit down meanwhile there are people standing who could be using that seat.

I think what is most annoying is that the kids sit down, climb up on the seat, get down from the seat so clearly aren't interested in sitting down so it's not like they're tired/want to rest. I am not saying kids should have to stand on the tube, as I get that they're too tiny in the crowded carriages and they'll get tired easily, but is it unreasonable to think, if they can, that the parents should let them sit on their lap so someone else who might need it can take the seat instead?

OP posts:

Escapepeas · 16/08/2017 22:26

No-one has a bag on a seat in rush hour. If it happens, it's because it's someone who has literally never travelled on a tube or overground in rush hour. I have been commuting for 20 years and I have only once seen someone try to put bags on a seat when there are people crowding the aisles and standing. She lasted about three minutes until the next station where she was told to move her bags if she didn't want them sat on.

missmollyhadadolly · 16/08/2017 22:26

People literally shutting their eyes so they don't have to see the woman with the stick standing in front of them.

Other tube passengers can ask for a priority seat to be vacated for the person in need. It shouldn't just be up the person in need to speak up.

givemestrengthfella · 16/08/2017 22:27

Would you rather watch a 3 year old fall the length of a train carriage because they have nothing to hold on to?
Glad the passengers I travelled with thought differently.
They also helped me with luggage! Imagine that!

givemestrengthfella · 16/08/2017 22:28

That was to missmolly by the way

Belindaboom · 16/08/2017 22:29

Perhaps not in London escape - but I can assure you it happens elsewhere!

missmollyhadadolly · 16/08/2017 22:29

Apologies, I meant those in need or needful of a seat.

No offence intended.

3EyedRaven · 16/08/2017 22:30

Coming home saw a woman who refused to put her 3 yo dd on her lap as she would kick off while a pregnant women practically begged her for a seat (feeling faint). Pregnant lady passed out, thankfully a guy caught her, and the entire train was delayed as she was removed. The lady was yelled at by the other passengers and removed herself and her child from the train. Pointless exercise. The child should have been removed asap
No, one of the adults should have got up, and not harassed a mother in front of her child.

potatoscowls · 16/08/2017 22:30

very small children should perhaps sit on their parents' laps but a child who's (parents have) paid for a ticket? Why are they less entitled to a seat than any other fare-paying, able-bodied passenger? Kids are human too.

Witsender · 16/08/2017 22:31

Escapepeas the thread was more talking about making children stand for adults, not the other way around. If a child has a seat first then unless the adult has a specific need (pregnant, disabled, elderly etc) then I see no reason why they shouldn't remain seated. Likewise I wouldn't expect an adult to stand for a 10 yr old, but would always offer a toddler, 4 he old etc a seat as I am more stable on my feet than them.

Belindaboom · 16/08/2017 22:31

I know molly, sorry I wasn't trying to be rude.

Give me strength - I think the point is a 3YO can often be carried. Ah adult can't...

missmollyhadadolly · 16/08/2017 22:33

I'm sure 2 adults together can ensure their 3yo doesn't fall down.

I've helped many solo parents carry their pushchairs up the stairs. That isn't the same as giving my seat for a 3yo with two parents.

missmollyhadadolly · 16/08/2017 22:35

Belind you weren't rude at all, you were right.

3EyedRaven · 16/08/2017 22:35

Nutty You've left your tap on

So, who started shouting at her and made her feel so unsafe she had to get off with her child, the carers or the 'blind, MH people'?

3EyedRaven · 16/08/2017 22:37

Escapepeas That is literally the opposite of what's happening here

RiverTam · 16/08/2017 22:38

DD is 7 and I'll always move her onto my lap if it's the rush hour, always have done. I remember the bone-crushing tiredness where you could sleep standing up after a shitty day at work.

Big group of Italian teenagers on the tube the other day - they automatically doubled up, sitting on each other's laps, including boys sitting on boys' laps. Never seen British teens do this in recent years (though we always did in the 80s), certainly not boys, probably think their dicks will fall off if they did such a 'gay' thing. Just see groups (almost always accompanied by adults) spreading themselves over every seat going, no concept of doubling up or standing.

(Having said all that I do remember a couple of teenaged boys, who were standing, getting very aerated on my behalf when I was on the tube while pregnant. I was only going a couple of stops so wasn't bothered but it was very sweet of them to harass seated passengers! So probably all the above is bollocks.)

AtSea1979 · 16/08/2017 22:40

The tube is hot and busy there's no way I would want a toddler on my lap in those conditions. I'd want them in their own seat so I could feel like I can breathe. Afraid it's first come first served. I would stand myself rather than sit with a toddler on my knee.

RiverTam · 16/08/2017 22:43

Unless you have a health complaint I think that's nonsense.

givemestrengthfella · 16/08/2017 22:43

Ah well you must be better than me missmolly, because I can't keep myself, my child and my luggage upright on a busy train. So I will continue to graciously accept a seat for my very small human being, and I will continue to offer help to those that I can help in return.

SaturnUranus · 16/08/2017 22:44

"Coming home saw a woman who refused to put her 3 yo dd on her lap as she would kick off while a pregnant women practically begged her for a seat (feeling faint)."

What would have happened if the woman had put the child on her lap and the child had kicked off as predicted with the pregnant woman right next to her? Would the mother have been blamed for that too?

And why on earth were adults shouting at the mother in front of her child? The little girl must have been terrified.

Escapepeas · 16/08/2017 22:47

Apologies, I misread and thought it was the other way around.

idril · 16/08/2017 22:47

If the tube was busy, I always made my children sit on my lap until they were over 8 year olds. Not because I didn't think they deserved or needed a seat but because it's a nice thing to do to make space for someone else.

Garlicansapphire · 16/08/2017 23:00

I too always made my DCs sit on my lap when they were small. In principle. But sometimes now when I see parents with small very tired children I'm not so convinced that fit and healthy adults are more in need of a seat than little children? Really?

I was recently on the tube with some very fit and healthy adults refusing to give up their seats for a pregnant woman with small child and a frail old lady. A huge row broke out with all the other passengers. Able bodied adults are perfectly capable of standing and more so than old people and little kids.

3EyedRaven · 16/08/2017 23:03

In just seems to me it's always the woman with the kids expected to shuffle about to accommodate the elderly, while the strapping men sit and stare out the window.

missmollyhadadolly · 16/08/2017 23:07

So you've gone from being 2 people with a child in London for the weekend to just you, your luggage and child?

I didn't say you shouldn't accept a seat, did I?

givemestrengthfella · 16/08/2017 23:14

Nope, we were two people with a child, but at times got split up in a busy carriage so there was one adult with our son. Totally irrelevant anyway, I'd always offer a seat to someone who needed it more than me in order to be safe, even if there were 12 able-bodied adults looking after them.

And no, you didn't say I shouldn't accept a seat. It's just a weird attitude to not look out for vulnerable people (ie small children) and one I'm glad many others don't share.

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