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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think kids shouldn't sit on the tube

107 replies

JSBF · 16/08/2017 17:24

I get on the London tube every day to get too and from work always during rush hour. There will often be little kids on the tube too. Am i being unreasonable to think that small kids (i'm talking small enough to be carried) shouldn't have a whole seat to themselves, when they could sit on a parents lap? The other day a lady plonked her 1/2 year old on the seat and then the baby decided to crawl on to her lap and she said "aw you can never tell if they'll want their own seat or not" and kept her on her lap so she could then breastfeed, but kept the baby's belongings on the seat so people couldn't sit down meanwhile there are people standing who could be using that seat.

I think what is most annoying is that the kids sit down, climb up on the seat, get down from the seat so clearly aren't interested in sitting down so it's not like they're tired/want to rest. I am not saying kids should have to stand on the tube, as I get that they're too tiny in the crowded carriages and they'll get tired easily, but is it unreasonable to think, if they can, that the parents should let them sit on their lap so someone else who might need it can take the seat instead?

OP posts:
BasketOfDeplorables · 16/08/2017 18:55

I give my toddler her own seat as she thinks it's the best thing ever, and just move her to my lap if it gets busy. I'm pregnant, though, so soon she may not fit.

But in the case of the pregnant woman who felt faint, why did the rest of the carriage not offer their seats? I would, as while I'm also pregnant, I usually do feel able to stand.

I don't have any time for the idea that children ought to stand for any adult, though. Seats should be taken by people who need them most, and then first come first served. Why are children less likely to be tired than adults?

BoggledMind · 16/08/2017 18:55

Yes babies and toddlers should be on laps, and seats kept free of bags, coats etc. No children shouldn't have to move for old people. Adults should be giving up their seat for old/vulnerable people.

RatRolyPoly · 16/08/2017 18:56

Sorry, kids - even small ones - get their own seat if they get there first, just like anyone else. So mum should sit her toddler on her lap just because she can? What about any of the numerous able bodied adults also in the carriage? Mothers are nothing but an easy target if you ask me.

And a pregnant woman passes out a tube FULL of capable adults through not being offered a seat, according to a pp, and they blame the woman with a child?? Sadly I'm not surprised.

MsGameandWatching · 16/08/2017 19:02

I live in London and travel on the tube often. I have a 14 and a 10 year old and they do not get told to move for adults. They're as entitled to their seats as anyone else. Frail or elderly people or pregnant women yes. But that's it.

Nuttynoo · 16/08/2017 19:03

The train's seats in that area were occupied by disabled (blind, MH) people this morning, with carers standing nearby, I think there was some kind of event going on in central london. The lady with the child was the only one who could have gotten up, and not really gotten up either. All she had to do was move her child on her lap!

MsGameandWatching · 16/08/2017 19:03

Shows respect, and teaches manners.

How does it do this? Automatic cap doffing respect for adults they don't even know? Nope.

Yayitsfriday · 16/08/2017 19:07

OP you are BU. Sorry. what's the matter again? if it was that a grown woman or man didn't give up their seat for an elderly person, fair enough. But I that situation no sorry I don't see your point at all.

We've just visited Japan where middle-aged people were standing up to give children (say under 10) their seats. A grown up person can easily stretch and reach for poles to hold on to, not youngsters. I was really impressed actually, thought it was particularly polite.

alltouchedout · 16/08/2017 19:08

Why does this come up so often on MN? This isn't a moan at you OP- I'm sure nothing I've posted has never been posted before, I'm not complaining about your posting on this topic. But I'm interested to know why the notion of children having seats on public transport is such an annoyance to so many people that it is so often up for discussion?

Anyway, my take on it- children are as entitled to a seat as anyone, and in many cases it's far safer for them to sit down than to stand or be carried. I really don't get the attitude that adult comfort should trump children's comfort. Why? Why on earth should it?

BasketOfDeplorables · 16/08/2017 19:47

There are a surprising amount of people on MN who think that a child only gets a seat if someone paying full fare doesn't want it. This isn't how it works - if you could pay less to take the chance you might have to stand I know plenty of bargain hunters who would be all over that!

StorminaBcup · 16/08/2017 19:58

Can I just flip this - if you're 3 and you have to stand what do you hold on to? You'll end up getting whacked in the head by people's rucksacks and lap top bags and you can't reach the grab handles. You don't know where to move when people need to get off so end up blocking people and you're also too big to sit on your parents knee (or my ds is anyway). Surely sat down is better? They're out of the way.

Speak up if someone is being a dick and taking up seats with their bags while feeding their child by all means. But surely judge a situation on it's individual merits?

Witsender · 16/08/2017 21:13

Surely the average adult would be better placed to stand than a small child? I would rather see the business man trying not to make eye contact give up a seat tbh.

youaredeluded · 16/08/2017 21:24

I wouldn't make my children (all under 6) to give us their seats. Why should they? They are people too and probably need a seat more than most adults. Obviously I would if a pregnant, disabled or elderly person needed the seat. But I would expect a fully grown, abled bodied non-pregnant person to offer to give up their seat before my children.

UnicornRainbowColours · 16/08/2017 21:40

If I see a child get on th tube, I get up and offer him/her my seat. Because I am a adult capable of standing on a train. A child should be seated where possible.

Mrskeats · 16/08/2017 21:47

Totally disagree
I saw kids of around 10 sitting and old people standing
Couldn't get over it. My kids would get up for an old person or pregnant woman.

UnicornRainbowColours · 16/08/2017 21:50

Oh I agree If an elderly perosn disabled or pregnant women needs the seat then of course the child should give it up.

Mrskeats · 16/08/2017 21:54

I also saw young men sitting and old people without seats. I was boggled tbh.

MaryWortleyMontagu · 16/08/2017 21:54

If the tube is busy then either my 4 year old sits and I stand or she sits on my lap. Either way we only use the one seat that we have paid for. I understand that it's not always possible to do this if you have more than one child with you or if there are additional/mobility needs but these apart I don't understand why if it's possible to put your child on your lap or you stand why you wouldn't do this? Obviously if the tube isn't busy then it's not an issue.

missmollyhadadolly · 16/08/2017 21:55

Priority seats are for the disabled, the elderly, pregnant women and women with tiny children.

If a child is sat on their own in a priority seat, no matter their age, they should move, unless they have a disability.

SparklyLeprechaun · 16/08/2017 21:57

Whatever. I don't know why it bothers people so much to see toddlers sit down. Yes, the woman in your example was rude to keep a seat occupied when she was holding the child, same as if she was using it for her shopping bags. But otherwise, people who need the seats (elderly, disabled, etc) should have priority and after that it's first come first served.

I've been commuting on the tube for years and don't remember ever being bothered by children sitting down.

Escapepeas · 16/08/2017 22:02

Christ alive, not this yet again. How many more times is this subject going to be posted?

Children over about 7 without disability should be able to stand.

Adults are not legally or morally required to give up their seats for a child, no matter how PFB.

It's a nice thing to do to offer a seat to a small child during rush hour when it's hard for them to hold on and they might get squashed.

Your child does not deserve a seat if they are able-bodied and over about 7. Don't try to make up a reason or make loud passive agressive comments about why all these people won't just get up to let Tarquin sit down.

Mrskeats · 16/08/2017 22:08

Tarquin. Chortles.

givemestrengthfella · 16/08/2017 22:17

We were in London last weekend with our three year old. Each time we got on the tube somebody stood so that our son could sit down. He can't hold on anywhere so it's blindingly obvious that he needs a seat, whether sitting on his own or on a lap, so I was impressed that people were thoughtful enough to understand that.

Funniest journey was when an elderly woman offered us her seat, and then we argued about who needed it most, and as she was a wee sparrow of a woman we found the solution was for them to squeeze up together, share the seat and become friends Grin

Belindaboom · 16/08/2017 22:18

Over the past few weeks I've experienced the absolute worst of public transport. People literally shutting their eyes so they don't have to see the woman with the stick standing in front of them.

I've no time for bags that need seats which is the real issue in the OP and I don't believe the 16 people who were seated on every occasion had a hidden disability either.

Children who can sit on laps should be there unless there's more than one child/other circumstances which aren't evident like hidden disabilities etc. And bags never, ever, EVER deserve a seat.

missmollyhadadolly · 16/08/2017 22:23

No way would I give up my seat for a 3yo, unless his parents asked for one for a genuine reason.

I give up my seat without fail for the needy. But a healthy 3yo with his parents is not needy.

Belindaboom · 16/08/2017 22:25

"Needy" is quite insulting missmolly, I know you don't mean it to be that way, but it is.