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Original poster

to ask what's your biggest regret in life?

413 replies

EagledWingsofRefuge · 16/08/2017 16:09

That and have you regretted more things you didn't do or did do?

I have a difficult decision to make and I'm wondering if I make the wrong choice if it'll turn out to be my biggest regret in life. It just made me wonder, what's everyone else's regrets? And are they over things you regret doing or regret not doing?

OP posts:
InteriorLulu · 16/08/2017 18:28

I have very few regrets. But there are two things that stick out and I so wish I'd done things differently.

I sorely regret not giving it my all at school, instead I dossed about and left as soon as I could with few qualifications. No real encouragement or support from my parents either. I missed out on going to university the 'traditional' way and it was much harder to study a degree part time, while working full time. I finally graduated 15 years after I left school.

I also regret not training to be a nurse, which kind of ties in with the above. Instead, I listened to the wrong advice and ended up training to be an excellent secretary. I wish I had done things differently.

Based on these, I have promised myself I will never stand in the way of my DCs dreams. My parents have a lot to answer for.

Lousylo66 · 16/08/2017 18:48

Spending as long as I did with emotionally and verbally abusive ex partner. I was with him from 19 until my late 40s. My relationship with relatively new Dp (3 years) has been an epiphany.
Flunking uni because I didn't want to leave above ex for a year in Germany and France as part of my degree course. I loved german
in particular and desperately regret the loss of my near fluency in it
Moving to a relatively deprived former mill town to be with ex partner. Made some lovely friends here over the years and am fortunate to live mortgage free in a nice area a minutes walk from gorgeous countryside, both dc happy etc, but the town itself has suffered terribly during the recession a few years ago. Shadow of its former self, it's a thoroughly depressing experience to visit though there are probably many other places not dissimilar up here

ferriswheel · 16/08/2017 18:58

Not divorcing a year and 14 days before I did.

Undercoverbanana · 16/08/2017 18:59

Not buying a home when they were reasonably priced.

I am priced out of the housing market now and have no financial/domestic security.

happyfrown · 16/08/2017 18:59

in order, not staying in care, dropping out of college to swan off with arsehole ex P, having kids from 19. having kids really. not them, I just aint good at it. meeting second ex P. not being more confident. breathing. sums it up nicely.

NotPennysBoat815 · 16/08/2017 19:00

I regret always fixating on what I don't have rather than what I do. I regret being so materialistic. I regret always finding the next thing to anxiously fixate on. I regret being so jealous of everyone and constantly comparing myself to others. I'm too old to change my mindset now. I can do it for a few days but that's all.

loveka · 16/08/2017 19:04

Giving up the possibility of starting a fabulous career to stay in my home town with my childhood sweetheart.

So many wrong descisions came from that decision. I think it's the main reason I feel so unfulfilled now.

But at the time I juat couldnt leave him, which was partly to do with my controlling, narcissistic dad. I so wish I had been stronger.

We split up 18 months later, and it was too late.

Also, smoking.

IneedaMagnum · 16/08/2017 19:27

I would have regretted a lot more hadn't I turned my life around when I was in my late twenties by changing careers into something I had always wanted to do, moving abroad, and finally standing up to an abusive family member. I learned to live for me, and stopped listening to people who were constantly trying to bring me down. Now I do a job I love, I travel, I have amazing friends, and I fully enjoy life.

The things I would have regretted if I hadn't had that light bulb moment a few years ago: my first relationship with someone who was controlling, letting my grades slip in school, being too afraid to travel in my late teens/early twenties, letting a parent crap on me over and over. Being too afraid to take control of my own life in short.

So happy I woke up before it was too late. My future is mine :)

IneedaMagnum · 16/08/2017 19:30

Oh I guess I do regret 20 years of social smoking, but oh well at least I gave up in the end.

I know someone who took control of her own life when she was in her late 60s. I can't even begin to tell all the horrible things she has been through. And she always lived for others. But now she is happier than she has ever been. She doesn't care anymore what other people think and is enjoying life to the fullest.

It's almost never too late to change things for the better. Accept the past, look to the future.

Findingdotty · 16/08/2017 19:31

Getting fat and not staying in school long enough, doing A-levels & going to University. Also not travelling in my twenties. (Married young & had kids young)

As it happens I have a good job now but still low paid and under appreciated and it took me way too long to get there. Lack of qualifications are preventing me from moving out of my industry to another job and from moving higher in my current job so stuck in a vicious cycle.

cheeseslovesme · 16/08/2017 19:34

I regret not trying harder at school, I messed up and didn't do too well with my results. I also regret not having another child. We just couldn't really afford another one Sad

rider1975 · 16/08/2017 19:48

I have no regrets bar wishing my attitude and self belief at times were better. I would have enjoyed things more and been happier.

3boysNeedABiggerKitchen · 16/08/2017 19:54

My regrets?
My choice of men (in a number of instances)
An abortion that I will never come to terms with, or was done 'to save my marriage' I should never have fallen for that.
Not being wild enough
Not releasing my inner hippie enough

C0untDucku1a · 16/08/2017 19:58

I should have gone to Australia when i had the chance.

I shouldnt have got married.

So one of each Grin

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 16/08/2017 20:01

I regret not doing a season abroad when I was 18.

MaudesMum · 16/08/2017 20:01

I wasn't very good at relationships in my 20s, and I really, really regret that I just stopped trying and buried myself in my career. Not only does that mean that I've never had children, which I also regret a lot, but it has also meant that as the years have passed its got harder and harder to reverse things, so I'm now alone and see no possibility of that changing.

Also the losing weight thing.

minipie · 16/08/2017 20:07

A few really minor ones and one major one.

BUT all of them are things that turned out badly only with hindsight - I had no way of knowing at the time they would be bad decisions, iyswim. so OP, make the decision that seems best right now - that's the best you or anyone can do.

IcelandicWarriors · 16/08/2017 20:08

Which I had another child. DD 5 and I'm 39. DH 50.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 16/08/2017 20:14

Hurting people I love.

simon50 · 16/08/2017 20:14

WOW ain't we pretty much a load of bed wetters, Those who have been in abusive relationships besides. The rest of us are still pretty healthy.
IneedaaMagum says she regrets smoking, but gave up, to say you were still smoking would be a regret.

Findingdotty.. you had kids young.. but you love them ? and by the time your in your 40s you and your DH can holiday alone ?

This is so much glass half empty rather glass half full !

FreyaJade · 16/08/2017 20:15

I regret not having a baby in my 20s / early 30s because since 2008 I've suffered from mental illnesses which obviously I did not foresee; now I'm a bit more stable on meds age 40 my psychiatrist says my combo of meds would mean a baby may be disabled & I can't come off them. I can't adopt either.

I regret not being stronger with men who have been abusive or taken advantage of my good nature.

I regret losing my career but that wasn't my fault.

I regret not seeing my grandparents & a family friend more before they died.

BakerBear · 16/08/2017 20:20

I regret...

  • not trying hard at school to get good grades so i could get a career behind me
  • not having a few years of freedom with dh before i got pregnant (got pregnant 6 months after meeting)

-putting on a lot of weight

  • having a professional do my wedding make up. (She made a mess and i ended up with a tide mark and its very noticeable on the wedding pics)
simon50 · 16/08/2017 20:23

We all have regrets, that's the past and we can do nothing about it but learn.
If you have regrets about the present.. well pick your sorry arse up and do something about it !

GirlOnATrainToShite · 16/08/2017 20:24

Does this tie in with the "Shagged my FIL" thread....

HateIsNotGood · 16/08/2017 20:28

"I've had a few" but "je ne regrette rien". But if I really thought about it, I sometimes wish that I had joined that cowboy in Overgaard, Arizona in 1991 riding the Colorado? North/South Trail rather than sticking with my fiancee (ditched a year later) as we drove West/East in our pick up.

He had a spare horse too...