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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what's your biggest regret in life?

413 replies

EagledWingsofRefuge · 16/08/2017 16:09

That and have you regretted more things you didn't do or did do?

I have a difficult decision to make and I'm wondering if I make the wrong choice if it'll turn out to be my biggest regret in life. It just made me wonder, what's everyone else's regrets? And are they over things you regret doing or regret not doing?

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 16/08/2017 16:40

I regret not doing well at school, if I had put my mind to it I could've done better, my parents never gave a shit about it either! I know I can redo my education but in the real world it costs £££ and I don't have loads of money. I wish I had a career instead of jobs that fit in with my family etc...

AllToadsLeadToHome · 16/08/2017 16:40

Getting married.

Selling my house.

Zaphodsotherhead · 16/08/2017 16:41

I've done quite a lot and yet left quite a lot undone. But I regret none of it, even some of the stupid mistakes I made often led me to other things that were better for me. Everything has made me the person I am, and I quite like me!

PoorYorick · 16/08/2017 16:42

The career path I chose. What a fucking mistake. Currently in training to rectify it but I can't be sure how it will go.

ladystarkers · 16/08/2017 16:42

calliwalli just get in touch.

SerfTerf · 16/08/2017 16:44

Mid 30s isn't too late to retrain Lego. You have 35 years of working life ahead of you. Find a way to follow your ambitions.

Wincarnis · 16/08/2017 16:45

getting married

getting fat
getting thin and getting fat again

career path

Teddy7878 · 16/08/2017 16:45

Not being more careful with money in my 20s. I'm debt free now but I made the end of my 20s incredibly stressful for myself with the amount I owed on credit cards.
I also regret some of the relationships I've been in as they didn't make me happy. And I also regret putting on weight as I used to have a great figure. Oh and not picking a degree subject that could get me a better job

Falconhoof1 · 16/08/2017 16:46

Where to start!!!
I regret not buying a slightly more expensive flat in a good area when I bought my first place. I would have made a mint!
I regret not doing a different course at uni.
I regret getting married (but not the kids I have from the marriage!)
I have more but getting depressed!

AsleepAtMyDesk · 16/08/2017 16:46

I should have learned to say 'no' to people earlier, instead I tried too hard to keep everyone happy but at the expense of my own MH.
On the upside, I am now world class 'no' sayer. I would have a gold medal if it were an Olympic sport!

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 16/08/2017 16:46

Staying with a bloke who I found unexciting .. . Cos he loved me and I didnt want to hurt him. I was young and stupid!

No one telling me you could do a degree without an A level in that subject.. (I was schooled pre Internet so was more difficult to discover stuff!) so dropped out of A levels as I panicked as I didn't want to follow any of my subjects through at uni.

Not travelling more when I was younger... Not realising doing things solo when travelling opens you up to more possibilities!

Not buying an amazing house... Was too worried if I wanted to change my career /Base..

meltingmarshmallows · 16/08/2017 16:47

I don't really retreat the -masses- of regrettable things I've done ... Because it all was part and parcel of getting to where I am now.

The only real thing would be not going to uni. It hasn't impacted my career but I feel I missed out on the experience. Although obviously also the debt!

Falconhoof1 · 16/08/2017 16:48

Another one- getting a big inheritance 10 years ago spending it all without putting some away.

Pigface1 · 16/08/2017 16:48

I wish I'd just let myself be happy instead of worrying all the damn time.

And I wish I hadn't used sunbeds as a teenager.

Decemberqueen · 16/08/2017 16:48

Not begging/ borrowing money for deposits / arranging mortgages somehow and buying as many houses as possible to rent out when you could still get a house in outer London for £60k and a flat for £40k 20 years ago. Could have been a millionaire Sad Gin

ModreB · 16/08/2017 16:49

I regret never living on my own. I went from living with parents to being married and living with DH. I always wonder what would have happened if I had been able to have my own place, not shared with someone else.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/08/2017 16:50

Not working harder at school, and especially not learning another language.

Letting my parents bully me into doing the "right" thing all the time.

Taking a load of abuse from my first serious BF, who physically and emotionally treated me like shit and drove me to the edge of a breakdown (and where I got the strength from to tell him to finally "piss off" I don't know to this day - but thank God I did.)

( I know it sounds weird but it is genuinely inexplicable to me

BlacknRed · 16/08/2017 16:50

I wish I started having children early so I could have all the children I want and don't feel so down about it. I wish I was savvy and saved my money to buy a house instead of living in the moment and wasting it all.

NC4now · 16/08/2017 16:52

I left my university city and came back to my home town for a man. Regret that. We were together 10 years, had two children and made a new life.
I clearly didn't learn though, because I then left my home town for another man and am in a smaller town and feel even MORE isolated from the life I wish I'd had.
My life isn't bad, not at all, but I want to live somewhere more vibrant, and it gets me down.

Vermillionrouge · 16/08/2017 16:53

Wasting my 20s, 30s and 40s with horrible XH

Spending far too many years in a job I hated because the money was good (and he always told me I was fit for nothing else)

Not spending more time trying out different things, places and people when I was younger

Letting XH end up with the lions share of the money on divorce (and he still claims he was hard done by)

SnickersWasAHorse · 16/08/2017 16:54

Not buying a flat when I lived in Brighton and they were about £90k.

Getting fat.

My biggest regret is not taking a job I was offered which would have seen my life head off in a completely different direction.
However I am happy where I ended up so it isn't a regret so much as a what if.

coffeeslave · 16/08/2017 16:54

Some of the relationships I've had.

I had a 2-year relationship in my mid-20s that messed me up so badly that I took 5 years to get over it. I also had a ton of therapy to get over the relationship and work through the cues from my (stately homes) upbringing that led me to make such a bad choice.

Then at 34 I finally met the guy I thought was Mr Right. Good things come to those who wait right?!

Now I'm 40 and he's dumped me.

I chose to be with that guy over getting married - I thought being with him unmarried (he didn't want to marry) was better than looking for someone else to marry. Ha that one worked out well!

I also sold my house to buy a house with him. I can't afford to move back to the area I moved from.

So yes, I regret it.

Jivebunny89 · 16/08/2017 16:55

Wish I did better at A-Levels. I had a very turbulent home life at the time though. I'm happy with my career now, but having better grades might have given me a few more options, or at least prevented me from living the last 10 years believing I'm really thick.

terrylene · 16/08/2017 16:56

Career path (or lack of) and not having the confidence to live up to my potential. However, I don't regret any of the things I have done otherwise, and probably would not have done if I had done the things I thought I should have done and been a 'success'.
I can only be who I am Grin

wobblywonderwoman · 16/08/2017 16:57

Having a big wedding. Wish I had something smaller