to ask what's your biggest regret in life?

[EagledWingsofRefuge]

That and have you regretted more things you didn't do or did do?

I have a difficult decision to make and I'm wondering if I make the wrong choice if it'll turn out to be my biggest regret in life. It just made me wonder, what's everyone else's regrets? And are they over things you regret doing or regret not doing?

My career path. Listening to what other people wanted me to do rather than what I wanted. I brought myself up so I've had to learn lessons the hard way. Lots of regrets but I didn't know any different.

*know any better

Not leaving my ex for a lad I'd known for a year who was perfect he moved and asked me to go with him, we had only kissed and asked a friends mum for advice and sadly listened to her. I should of left with him I was 17 he was so lovely and so gentle my ex went on to use me as punch bag been young I didn't know the red flags was 15 when we started dating but it made me so strong and all 3 of my DD's will be just as strong as I am.

I left him 2 weeks after I had abortion it was a light switch moment I got an infection was admitted to hospital 2 day's later he insisted we went out with a group of his work mates pretty girl on his arm one of his work mates kept chatting me up and followed me around. So on the way back he used me as a punch bag because of course I'd been leading him on and when he followed me around and I went to the toilet we had of course had sex in some pub toilets .

Of course other man could see he was a wanker and asked me to leave with him to rescue me. I know it wouldn't of worked out between us, I was pretty messed up but it would of saved a lot of pain but then I wouldn't of met my DH and have my three daughters.

I wish I'd moved Asia or NUC in my 20s/early 30s.

I regret not going travelling when I was younger.
I had the opportunity to dance on ships and didn't take it.
More fool me.

And I really really really regret taking back my recent ExP.
He did the same thing all over again.
I really should have known better.

I wish I hadn't left it so late to start a family. Not that it was actually my choice, so I couldn't have done anything differently.

But now I am afraid I will never have the size of family I really wanted.

I regret the A level choices I made. However, I then went on to university and enjoyed the subject I studied there, so it isn't a massive regret.

Do bear in mind that not all decisions have to be final. I chose a career, got to a point where I didn't enjoy it any more, so changed career. I'm now looking to move into a third career.

I couldn't make it back to the UK for my younger brother's wedding in 2011.

I'd just been back for a visit (I was pregnant) and we discovered he had cancer but were unsure what it was. When I was back (where I live), it turned out he had quite an aggressive germ cell cancer and needed to undergo pretty urgent chemo.

He and his fiancee decided to get married in a registry office the week before his chemo started and they had everyone they loved with them, except me because, at the time, I just couldn't afford to fly back again so soon. We were also hopeful that he would kick the cancer and he and his fiancee could enjoy a massive party the following June which was when they'd planned their wedding originally.

Unfortunately we attended his funeral the following June.

I am hugely lucky and have an amazing and very wonderful life, but I feel heavy in my heart that I couldn't be there in person to see him marry his love. My one and only regret.

Having children.

I wish I hadn't been so cautious. I have a nice life now, but I wonder what I might have done if I'd not always been so scared of jumping into the unknown or what people might think of me.

I also wish I hadn't been suckered into the "art is more important than money" paradigm. It left me skint for years and I had to spend my entire 30s trying to earn enough to get myself some financial and housing security in order to be able to think about starting a family.

Now I'm in my early 40s and I've not achieved very much really. I've just worked and worried about money for twenty years. Okay, some of that was in different countries and I've had some very fascinating experiences, but I'm not entirely sure it was all worth it.

I guess I've never felt free.

I regret going to college straight from school because I didn't really know what I wanted to do but just wanted to get away from (stately) home.

I regret going into the civil service just because my mother thought it would be a naice career. It totally and utterly didn't suit me and I wasted so much time I could have spent on a career I was actually suited to.

I wish I had travelled more in my 20s. I had the money. I travelled a bit but not nearly enough. Now with children it's not feasible to head to India for a month! I don't beat myself up too much about it though. I intend to go to the 4 corners of the earth when they leave home.

Not going to Australia when my dad asked me to when I was 17. He was having a sort of mid life crisis which made him 'disappear' for 6 weeks only to reappear on the other side of the world.

He committed suicide not long after which I don't believe would have happened if I'd joined him there.

I regret getting fat

Giving far to much emotional and mental energy and time on an idiot of a man who only thought of himself and played games with me (and many others) from day 1. This is my biggest regret. I allowed myself to be absorbed by his games thinking he actually loved and cared. He didn't!

Not working harder at school/college. I could have a better degree from a better uni and better job! I almost went to USA university and I wish I had tried it.

Not having the guts to travel or work in a big city or abroad when I left Uni.

I kind of regret my second degree because it's made no difference to my career at all. Ten years on and it's actually pushed me back rather than helped.

Just to add, it's so much easier living with decisions you have freely chosen than ones you are pushed into. Again, my mother pushed me into going straight to college from school because she said if I didn't go then, she'd never fund me, and I was too lacking in confidence to realise I could have funded it myself later on.

I try not to have regrets.
I do wish I'd had another child.

Swelling my ticket to see Queen in 1986 for £20

In the words of Frank 'regrets I have a few'

1. when I was 18 I was dating a great girl (don't know if it would have lead anywhere) but my so called mates talked me into going out with them all the time (I was the only one with a decent/flash car) and she lost interest and dumped me... Maybe that's the one time when being lead by the dick would have been right !

1. marrying my X. she married me after I was awarded £90k after an RTA.

1. Not knowing that the £90k I was awarded could be excluded from our divorce settlement (she did say I only married you once you were worth divorcing!).

The last 10 years with my DP have been more down that up due to her ill health, but NO regrets !

I regret dropping out of my nursing degree 10 years ago. Really really regret it. At the time, my mental health was shaky and the placements just seemed too hard. But I really wish I had stuck it out. Quitting something and not seeing it through s not a good thing to live with.

I have done some interesting stuff but also as above been too cautious and frightened to jump into some opportunities.
I have had the dodgy partners including husbands and now I know that I would not take on such dafties. Wasted a lot of time there.
I have managed to keep my own property and I am about to dosomething that makes me so glad that I always kept it. It might not be a smart place but it is a decent building.
Life is what we do. We regret missing chances but that also makes our lives go in certain other directions which may ave led us into different things
All expereinces are valid. Some teach us lessons and sometimes that is the hard way but such is what makes up our lives
I hope to push myself into chances which lead to adventures.

Not working at school.
Getting married at 19 because I wanted to get away from my mother. I could have done that by going to university

Staying married for 25 years to a decent bloke who I didn't really love.
Relationship with narcissist.

However ... there were good things in there too. My daughters, going to university as a mature student because my husband really pushed me, having exciting adventures with narc before I finally saw the light. Who knows what would have happened if I'd taken other decisions, it might have been worse.

Just try to make your decision based on what's best for you. It's ok to be selfish.

It's interesting that some people say they regret having children when younger and some say they regret leaving it until they were older.

Hurting a friend. I made a terrible, unforgivable mistake and she was like my sister. I'll never get over it.

I regret a lot of my parenting decisions with ds1 from aged 6-11. If I had done things differently, moved schools, read more into what people were thinking and doing and what they really thought about me.

Those decisions will affect Dh and I until we literally die and now we can't do things, go places etc. So quite dramatic effects.

I regret a lot.

I regret doing what was expected of me rather than what I really wanted to do.