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Original poster

to ask what's your biggest regret in life?

413 replies

EagledWingsofRefuge · 16/08/2017 16:09

That and have you regretted more things you didn't do or did do?

I have a difficult decision to make and I'm wondering if I make the wrong choice if it'll turn out to be my biggest regret in life. It just made me wonder, what's everyone else's regrets? And are they over things you regret doing or regret not doing?

OP posts:
GreekGod · 18/08/2017 18:18

I was in a very well paid job almost five years ago and then started my own business. I should have left that well paid job a long time before I did. That is a huge regret.

Treesinbloom · 18/08/2017 19:19

I regret not telling my new friend's parents that he'd tried to kill himself a few months earlier (before I knew him). I didn't know his parents and naively trusted him when he said he wouldn't do it again.

I'm currently debating having a third D.C. And I can't decide if I'll regret doing it more or less than not doing it. I'm not hugely keen but DH is. The question is whether i put myself first or the man I love.

flapflops · 18/08/2017 19:27

Having an abortion

angularmerkel · 18/08/2017 19:35

I regret spending the 10 years between the ages of 19 and 29 with a commitment-phobic fuckwit who used me purely to buoy up his ego and help him get the job he desired. Once in his high flying media role, I no longer fitted the image his mother wanted him to have, but he was too much of a tit to tell me and break the relationship off.

Troubleinstore · 18/08/2017 19:57

not looking after my teeth when I was younger, and eating the 14,248 bags of crisps is taken me to get this fat (guestimate)

PoorYorick · 18/08/2017 20:14

I'm currently debating having a third D.C. And I can't decide if I'll regret doing it more or less than not doing it. I'm not hugely keen but DH is. The question is whether i put myself first or the man I love.

This one's easy. You already have two children, don't have a child if you don't really want one just to please someone else. Pregnancy and childbirth are full of risks and your body as well as your life will be permanently changed. A decent man who already has two children with you will not pressure you.

GreyCloudsToday · 18/08/2017 20:15

Bravo, PickleRick! I need to cultivate the same philosophy!

CheerfulMuddler · 18/08/2017 20:23

I agree with Yorick. The jump from two to three kids is massive in terms of noise, expense, general chaos. You have two kids. This is something that's going to impact your entire family for the rest of your children's childhood. If you don't want it, don't do it just to please someone else.

QuiltingFlower · 18/08/2017 20:29

That my husband died before his time.

qumquat · 18/08/2017 20:42

I'm now so scared of regret that I struggle to make any decision. I regret not splitting up with dp a couple of years or months in. I have never been in love with him which has made me unhappy but he is wonderful man and I never felt like I had enough reason to split up with him. Fast forward 15 years a mortgage and DC and I still don't know what to do. I know I will regret losing years on the indecision more that anything but I can't move on in case I make the 'wrong' choice.

PoorYorick · 18/08/2017 21:51

qumquat, it may help to realise that no decision is, in fact, a decision.

Lolabridges · 18/08/2017 21:54

Sorry folks, but... even with many life changing mistakes along the way....

Non je ne regret rien.

NotTheCoolMum · 18/08/2017 21:55

I regret caring what others thought of me. Particularly my narcissistic fucked up mother who criticised everything I did and destroyed my confidence. Has taken me years to get her voice out of my head and build up some self esteem.

TheCuriousOwl · 18/08/2017 22:16

I try not to regret choices I made that weren't the best objectively but were the best at the time (calling in sick all the time when I had ME, leaving my secure job for being a student again).

I do regret going to college with my friends instead of going somewhere that would have been academically better for me. Had a shit time and didn't do as well as I could have.

I regret not standing up for myself for most of my life. I now do try to stand up for myself and say no a lot more, say fuck off a lot more and it's quite liberating.

There's a lot of things I've done that I should regret but I don't really.

allthatnonsense · 18/08/2017 22:35

Not waiting for someone to fall in love with me.

ethelfleda · 18/08/2017 23:01

Starting smoking. I don't smoke now - stopped in February and fell pregnant in March... but I still miss it occasionally and I'm worried I will start again one day. I used to really enjoy having a cigarette with a glass of wine. If I'd never started I'd never know how enjoyable it is Confused

ethelfleda · 18/08/2017 23:02

Starting smoking. I stopped in February after 10 years of being a smoker and fell pregnant in March so obviously still don't smoke. But I do miss it occasionally and if I never started I'd never know how enjoyable it is Confused
I hope I never start again...

ethelfleda · 18/08/2017 23:02

I also regret buying this crappy phone that means I posted the same thing twice Angry

travis45 · 18/08/2017 23:13

Not taking education seriously.
Not having the balls to go to Australia before kids.
Being careless with money & credit.
Some of the fallouts I've had with my husband.
Putting up with some family's shit for too long.
Being scared at pretty much everything 😕

Andcake · 19/08/2017 07:07

I regret not having children younger not just settling for any man or going it alone in my late 20s early 30s.
Finally found a lovely man at 35- a medical diagnosis meant early menopause. Managed one ds but a lot of heartbreak on the years of infertility now desperate for another but body not working and old

Treesinbloom · 19/08/2017 10:09

Thanks yorick and cheerful

To be fair to DH he is putting no pressure on me. He's just said that he'd like a3rd. I'm the one tying myself in knots trying to work out if I could cope!

he says it's up to me. I just don't want to be the cause of his regrets when he's old. But I'm still pretty certain we won't have another cos it'll impact me and the other 2 too much

PoorYorick · 19/08/2017 10:45

He can't regret someone else's decision, especially when it's a woman who doesn't want another child.

mrsjezzabell · 19/08/2017 15:45

I was actually just thinking about this recently.

Not staying in education after GCSE's. I went back later and did it the hard way as a mature student, missed out on the university lifestyle.
The 11 years I spent smoking from age 15-26.
Not using sunscreen when I was younger (starting to pay for it now).
Throwing away many many career advancement opportunities when I was in my 20's. I could have been at quite a high level now (£££), I wish I could go back and kick myself up the ass.
Losing touch with friends when I was younger because of boyfriends.
Not saving in my 20's and frittering away all my money.

My 30's have been great, got married to a great guy and have two lovely kids. But I still catch myself pondering over how my life could have been.

Bananacustardyum · 19/08/2017 20:01

I regret not being stronger and sticking to my gut feeling that I should opt to have a C-section to have my DD. I was talked out of it by a shitty doctor in hospital and in consequence had an absolutely awful birth, agony afterwards, dangerously low iron and hideous PND. All this led to a totally devastating psychotic episode and a stay in hospital. Still nearly 3 yrs later I've still not come to terms with it all.

OFuckShitAndBollocks · 19/08/2017 21:30

Too much shagging of the wrong kind of guys in my younger years, abuse as a little child made it hard for me to say no for fear of the repercussions. But definitely too much unpleasant sex.

Not enough shagging of the right kind of guys (2 in particular) when there could have been due to my stupid history and issues I created.

Having sex with first boyfriend when I didn't really want to when I was underage and he was 9 years older than me....

Not pushing for what I know was right for me

Allowing stupid dr to make massive mistakes with my mental health following a trauma, resulting in me being abusive and a bully towards my DH and dc. I can never thane that back and I can never forget it. They seem to have done so but I will never feel true and good and worthy of them.