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Original poster

To not understand why teenagers are said to be quite so expensive

528 replies

theduchessstill · 16/08/2017 13:08

On here I often see it written that having teenagers is so incredibly expensive and I don't understand why.

It's actually getting me quite anxious as ds1 is 10 so the teen years are fast approaching. I followed one of those links people post last week where you put in just your income and how many dependants/adults live with you, and apparently I am better off than 81% of people now but that will plummet to 51% of people when both dc are 14 +. Obviously this is a crude tool, but it has been niggling at me.

Why are they so expensive and are none of the costs balanced by the absence of childcare fees with this age group ? Childcare is easily my biggest cost after my mortgage and I often think I will be better off when I don't need it anymore. Exactly what takes its place? I know food - and am already seeing it with ds1, but food can only cost so much, surely. What else is so expensive with teens? I know I probably sound stupid, but, hey, I want to know.

OP posts:
SandyDenny · 18/08/2017 20:21

It's right that you can save the cost of nursery fees once your child goes to school but I found that I had to reduce my working hours once full time 52 week a year childcare was no longer available as I had no way to cover the school holidays so never really felt the benefit and costs have increased each year since then.

I don't want to and can't afford to buy my teens everythig they want but on the other hand I don't deny them things for the sake of it.

I'm sure we all work hard for our money, what's wrong with buying the occasional pair of branded trainers or name brand t shirt?

IroningMountain · 18/08/2017 20:47

To be honest bar Primark (often false economy)a lot of the brands aren't a whole lot more than other high street shops Imho. I have to hunt around for reasonable basics. Clothes for teens are more expensive than for toddlers. You never seem to inherit any either.

MaQueen · 18/08/2017 20:48

Agree sandy my DDs are doing really well at school. They keep their rooms tidy, empty the dishwasher and are generally polite and nice to be around.

Wearing Hollister hasn't poisoned their souls...

AnnabelleLecter · 18/08/2017 21:01

DD16 is into a couple of brands Adidas and CK underwear (from outlet shop). Otherwise it's Topshop, New look etc.
Most of her stuff comes from Christmas and birthday money. She has an iPhone, iPad, TV etc - all presents.
We pay her phone £10 per month, gym £12 p/m and then gets £20 a week for her social life which is extensive, like ours.
It's definitely been encouraged by us.
She more or less gets the CB that we get for her plus a bit from gp's.
Occasionally she gets more for bigger stuff like theme parks or festivals.
It's just a part of being a parent, spending money on them. One day soon she'll be in a full time job and won't need our money. Then we'll be rich Grin

friendlyflicka · 18/08/2017 21:19

My teenage daughter has very expensive tastes. I give in to some of her wishes and refuses others. I think I am probably quite soft. But that is my choice.

The things that do shock me are just the stuff I have to do: bras, sanitary products, conditioner for thickest hair in the world, skin care etc, and yes, food. No choice on this and it is very expensive. And all her socialising involves spending money and because she is quite shy, I am not going discourage it...

Cherrytart6 · 18/08/2017 22:44

Cathf. I don't see parents/teens with alternative approaches counting themselves as superior. You seem to look down on people who are different

Cherrytart6 · 18/08/2017 22:50

Teens can be very happy without lots of luxuries. It's not all about the money

cathf · 18/08/2017 22:59

I don't think I look down on anyone cherrytart and I am interested to find out why you think that? I think the contrary actually - the lucky few who are blessed with non-demanding teens seem to look down on the rest of us and congratulate themselves on the product of their fabulous parenting. The poster who called me pathetic because my daughter asked for a LV bag and the poster who called my daughter shallow because she asked for Dominos pizza spring to mind. I woukd suggest that bith of those requests are within normal range for today's teenagers? She got neither, by the way. Maybe we are just coming at it from different angles?

Eleventybillionfucks · 18/08/2017 23:16

I have two teens 13 and 17 and don't get how its so expensive for you all Shock
17yr old has a part time job and 13yr does paper rounds and car washing to earn his money and i dont let them wear the chavvy brands like Adidas and nike because it looks scruffy and the teens i see out and about in that stuff are always up to no good behind their parents backs im convinced its down to the obsession with "designer" clothing like that making them that way -it isn't designer just cheap tat-. My two wear H&M and supermarket brands or whatever is on sale as for shoes they have a pair of trainers every 3 months from Asics range or Clarks basic one which are machine washable and last. Ive never had my dc be bullied for not having "designer gear" and dont know any of their friends that wear anything different to them.

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/08/2017 23:38

I have two teens 13 and 17 and don't get how its so expensive for you all Really, have you read the thread?

Who on earth allows a 13 year old to wash their car and pays them to do it? If you have a shitty car that you don't mind some random child scratching the paintwork to bits with their bucket of gritty water, you'd probably either wash it yourself, run it through a car wash or not wash it. If you have a decent car then you'd wash it yourself or get it valeted. You wouldn't pay a 13 to wash it.

I'd maybe get on to the police with your theory about designer goods causing crime. They could just arrest everyone walking out of the Nike shop and cut the crime rate in half. Also wondering about a 17 year old in clarks trainers and how that is cheaper than actual sports trainers? If you are having to replace them every 3 months then you have a problem.

cathf · 18/08/2017 23:48

I think Eleventy wins the prize so far Grin

Mineshalfamilkstout · 18/08/2017 23:48

Cathf, mine have asked for Dominoes too. It's a brand they see in our town.( The prices are outrageous!)

Lots of this is about learning. They are not adults yet and have a way to go!

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/08/2017 23:56

I think Eleventy wins the prize so far grin

Is the prize a bag of full stops?

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 00:00

Mine would ask for Dominoes but what they mean is whatever generic brand of pizza is in the budget to be purchased.

If DH and I are going out and I can't be gassed cooking for them before we go, they will sometimes get a delivery from whichever pizza place has the best deal on/I have vouchers for. Not so much since they have go a bit older and can be trusted to make their own dinner.

If we get pre-made hot cooked ready to eat pizza then it's usually from Sainsburys hot counter as it's cheaper.

DSs don't care what's written on the box, they only care what's in the box...

cathf · 19/08/2017 00:02

GrinGrin
The thing is, I do know teens like these paragons do exist - I have had one if my own.
Now I have one if the other type.
It's like people who have one sleeping baby and think it's all down to them, until number two is one if the non-sleeping variety.
It's all these Shock faces that are bugging me - as if the poster is unaware such a thing as a normal teenager exists!

Mineshalfamilkstout · 19/08/2017 00:08

Oh for tiny paragons!

noeffingidea · 19/08/2017 00:08

who on earth allows a 13 year old to wash their car and pays them to do it. That used to be a pretty standard 'job' for teenagers (and younger kids) to do. It's hardly brain surgery.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 19/08/2017 00:12

who on earth allows a 13 year old to wash their car and pays them to do it*
We did, will add it to my parenting fails.

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 00:14

Neither of my teenagers are "normal" but the still cost me a fortune :) I also have eyes and friends and relatives so can see what different costs other people have. Things like prom dresses costing £££ along with hair, make up, shoes, bags, fake tans, nails etc. Having to replace a written-off car because not replacing it means that the teenager loses their place in college because the can't attend or the parent loses out on work as they'll have to drive them there and back every day and obviously their insurance goes up too. Having to buy Nike branded and school logoed PE kit. My DS has been told that he'll need plastic surgery to deal with acne scars once his skin has cleared up, there may be a long wait for that. DH and I might need to pay for it privately because quite frankly he has already wasted a lot of his teenage years hiding his face, it would be nice for him to go off to Uni with his skin in a better condition.

noeffingidea · 19/08/2017 00:15

It's like people who have one sleeping baby and think it's all down to them, until number 2 is one of the non sleeping variety
Or one of those people who have 2, 3 or even more babies who all sleep.

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 00:17

You might let your own kids wash your own car but would you let a random 13 year old wash it and pay them? I let me own teens wash mine from time to time but even if I paid them (which I don't as it would come under them doing some chores as part of te household), that's still my money going on my teenagers, not them actually earning to buy stuff so it doesn't cost me.

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 00:24

That used to be I think "used to be" is the term here. There were all sorts of jobs that teens "used to do" that they don't any more for many reasons.

I used to babysit from age 13. I used to do the dishes in the local restaurant from about 14, my brothers used to work on the milk/potato/juice delivery trucks from 13 upwards, there used to be plenty of paper rounds, my sister worked in the newsagents from 14, my brother waited tables from 14. We used to go round the streets with pairs of shears and cut hedges when we were kids.

Unless I am living in a different universe from everyone else, none of these jobs are available to younger teens anymore or they just don't exist anymore or people are less inclined to hand money to neighbourhood kids to do jobs that they could do themselves or get their own kids to do.

noeffingidea · 19/08/2017 00:25

waxon depends on the 13 year old really. I expect the average 13 year old to able to perform simple tasks such as car washing.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 19/08/2017 00:28

I think it also depends on where you live. My daughter was earning pocket money from about 10 year old by doing odd jobs for neighbours such as dog walking and fruit picking.

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 00:29

noeffing I'm not saying they couldn't but I wouldn't pay some random 13 year old to do it. Presumably they are walking around with a bucket and sponge that they've use on other cars and not a jetwash system that I would use myself? How are they getting the roof done?

If I wanted a teenager to do it I'd get one of my own. i just don't see how 13 year olds are making money doing this.

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