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Original poster

To not understand why teenagers are said to be quite so expensive

528 replies

theduchessstill · 16/08/2017 13:08

On here I often see it written that having teenagers is so incredibly expensive and I don't understand why.

It's actually getting me quite anxious as ds1 is 10 so the teen years are fast approaching. I followed one of those links people post last week where you put in just your income and how many dependants/adults live with you, and apparently I am better off than 81% of people now but that will plummet to 51% of people when both dc are 14 +. Obviously this is a crude tool, but it has been niggling at me.

Why are they so expensive and are none of the costs balanced by the absence of childcare fees with this age group ? Childcare is easily my biggest cost after my mortgage and I often think I will be better off when I don't need it anymore. Exactly what takes its place? I know food - and am already seeing it with ds1, but food can only cost so much, surely. What else is so expensive with teens? I know I probably sound stupid, but, hey, I want to know.

OP posts:
supermoon100 · 18/08/2017 07:36

£125 for Nike trainers for a teenager? I would have laughed in my teens face if I'd been asked to fund that!

SandyDenny · 18/08/2017 07:44

Where I live public transport is next to non existent and all 17 year old learn to drive as soon as they can. Not being able to drive can mean that you can't go to college or get a job, it's not the luxury that it would be for teens living in cities.

Velvian · 18/08/2017 07:46

I think mine has been quite good value Grin. I spend more on the younger 2 at the moment (childcare). Ds1 has never been interested in fashion, so i have always bought him branded trainers (i care more) that are not the latest style (£30-£40) & clothes from H&M. Birthdays are sometimes a £300-£400 present with a laptop of £550 for his 18th, but that's our choice. The only thing he has ever asked for are consoles & game related stuff.

Maireadplastic · 18/08/2017 07:49

I've always thought it wrong that school children should pay for public transport.

cuirderussie · 18/08/2017 07:52

The teenage years were a nightmare financially. You basically have an adult/s in your house with adult requirements for food, clothing and entertainment - plus education- and you're paying for everything. It was like being mugged every day Sad

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/08/2017 08:30

I've always thought it wrong that school children should pay for public transport.

It's even worse when they are paying adult fares. My DSs are tall and mature looking and if they've had to get the (multiple) buses home from school, they've been charged adult fares even when they've only been 14 and in school uniform. I can't blame the drivers really as when you are presented with a 6'1" 14 year old with a beard, it's hard to tell and my DSs are too shy to argue the toss. It would be cheaper for them to get a taxi.

Ledkr · 18/08/2017 08:45

Dd15 showed me "the shoes I want" yesterday. They were 150 pounds.
I just ignored her completely and carried on with my day Grin
She dances and lessons alone are 1000 a year. Then shoes and leotards (tap shoes 65, point shoes 60) exams can be well over 100. Competition entry about 30 per comp, costume purchase or hire, not to mention the time or cost of ferrying her to class 4xweekly.
She knows we can't afford much more after paying for all that.
If she needs non essential stuff she earns money doing jobs for me or looking after her little sister.
She's counting the days till she can get a job at 16 as are we Grin

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/08/2017 08:51

But a full time baby place at my nursery costs £1200. You can buy a lot of teenage clothes, food and hobbies for that...

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/08/2017 08:52

£1200 per month that is.

Mineshalfamilkstout · 18/08/2017 08:53

Like being mugged everyday..I recognise this..the effect on the wallet is the same!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/08/2017 09:07

My two are at primary school with wraparound care and cost a lot less than when both at nursery. If you don't have high childcare costs when they are young I can see why teens would seem expensive. I can't see myself spending £2000 per month on top of basics when I have two teens. That would be obscene...

fivefour3twoone · 18/08/2017 09:09

How pathetic though just because your daughter wants a Louis Vuitton bag for school does that mean you get her one? Spend within your means.
Some things are essential something's are just desired. As the parent you control the finances.

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/08/2017 09:13

But how long is your child a baby?

Teenage costs last for years and years and years and there is no benefits added to cope with those. MY OH doesn't earm £1200 a month. We've been feeding and paying adult costs for 4 for 6 years and still have many more to come we are just at the start of (necessary) driving lessons and cars and insurance etc. Then Uni costs etc

As someone said above, in a family of 4, you are supporting 4 adults on 1 or 2 salaries for years.

It really does annoy the hell out of me when non-food places start charging as adults at 12 upwards. Even our council does it. Where do they think that 12 year olds are getting income from and how is a 12 year old getting more use of the facilities than a younger child? In our case they get less as they are then only allowed in the main pool and not the fun pool as well. For double the cost.

Same at the cinema etc etc

Our local Indian has a children eat free policy on Sundays so a family with younger children can eat for the cost of two adults. If we go with teens, then the bill is more than doubled. Im not suggesting they are in the wrong as of course you can't give free food to hungry 15 year olds, but you then have the choice to pay that or not take your teens with you.

Starlight2345 · 18/08/2017 09:23

Our local Indian has a children eat free policy on Sundays so a family with younger children can eat for the cost of two adults. If we go with teens, then the bill is more than doubled. Im not suggesting they are in the wrong as of course you can't give free food to hungry 15 year olds, but you then have the choice to pay that or not take your teens with you

We went to a local eat all you like buffet at New year..It was based on height.. My DS 9 at the time , who is tall, was above the height so ended up having to pay adult prices from that age.

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/08/2017 09:25

It's also stuff like trips and holidays.

We used to be able to get away for a cheap break using a Railcard and Premier Inn. Now if we do the same the costs for travel are more and we have to book two rooms and then the increased food/entertainment when you are there, so the trip hasn't just doubled, it's tripled at least. I know the solution is that you just don't go, but you only have one life and there are things we'd like to do with our children.

That's before the cost of an actual holiday.

Even things like centerparcs. the cost of the accommodation and travel is the same, food is near doubled but then the activities are eye watering. When we took them as younger children they were happy with the pool and walks and the playpark and some other cheap stuff. Now they've done all that so you spend a fortune finding things to do, again, you could just not go or not do the activities but I want to see them enjoying themselves and having the experiences.

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/08/2017 09:28

Yes, I've been in that boat too Starlight I think the one thing that is apparant from this thread is that it's much better to have average or short children, with slow growing small feet. :o

I can remember being the opticians with one of mine and he came out the room and the guy had his form and he said to Ds2, "oh and are you 16 or when are you 16?" and DS2 replied, "in about 3 years!"

DutchSparkle · 18/08/2017 09:30

I've read on hear about "they don't have to have it" yeah right. I remember arguments between my brother and my parents over a pair of trainers; his behaviour was similar to that of my 2yo DD 😂. My brother became my guardian when I was about 14 and the arguments with my brother about going out and clothes etc. How he didn't understand etc. I honestly think my brother give in for a quieter life 😊

scampimom · 18/08/2017 09:33

Do teenagers still get allowances these days? Was a big thing when I was younger. Like pocket money, but more, paid monthly, and depended on doing certain things.

skippy67 · 18/08/2017 09:43

Dd16 gets £45 a month allowance. We pay her mobile bill and top her up if needs be. In London, public transport is free/reduced. DS is 19 and at uni. He works as a football ref and also gets a bursary of 2k a year as long as he's at a 2.1 on his course. Again, if he needs it, we'll top him up. DD also does some netball umpiring to get some extra cash. So overall, they don't cost us that much. They're not into designer stuff, but if they want something they'll save for it.

skippy67 · 18/08/2017 09:44

we're in London

Maireadplastic · 18/08/2017 09:46

To those who say 'just say no' to brands and peer group pressure. Just wait for secondary school.... While there's no need to give in to £115 Nikes, £50 on the sale is painful enough.
Also, comparing it to baby childcare costs means nothing to those of us who didn't do it like that.

Mineshalfamilkstout · 18/08/2017 09:52

Teen fashion always makes me think of Anne of Green Gables and her longing for "puffed sleeves". This counters my puritanical tendencies.

ragged · 18/08/2017 09:58

If you never earnt enough to pay £800/month (per child) on childcare, then that comparison isn't relevant. I remember having £10/month in my pocket after childcare costs. I ended up quitting my job, tbh. Most people would.

Teen expenses are a shock partly because they come after 7 yrs of primary school when child-costs can be relatively cheap (even with after school & holiday clubs to pay for).

NikiBabe · 18/08/2017 10:00

To those who say 'just say no' to brands and peer group pressure. Just wait for secondary school.... While there's no need to give in to £115 Nikes, £50 on the sale is painful enough.

What do low income families do who actually cannot buy Nikes sale or not.

Their teenagers go without.

If you find £50 painful why do it? Do you buy yourself designer shoes in the sale?

If not the teen can wait for birthday/ Christmas.

As adults we don't generally buy ourselves super expensive clothes and shoes non stop. Why should teens be any different.

MrsKoala · 18/08/2017 10:05

You only get 30 free hours if you earn under a certain amount don't you? and not all places do them. At the moment our childcare costs are £2k per month. That's for 2 at preschool (only 1 gets 15 free hours a week) a couple of days a week and a mothers helper part time and i dont even work!

We were talking about this subject last week when doing days out. With 3 under 5 our lunches were costing £65-75 a time. That was with 2 child meals to share and free water. Once they all want an adult meal and a drink which costs money it'll be over double.

Holidays, days out etc are going to be eye watering. Flights, hotels etc just too much.

Our dc are huge too and we already spend a fortune on their clothes and food.