To not understand why teenagers are said to be quite so expensive

[theduchessstill]

On here I often see it written that having teenagers is so incredibly expensive and I don't understand why.

It's actually getting me quite anxious as ds1 is 10 so the teen years are fast approaching. I followed one of those links people post last week where you put in just your income and how many dependants/adults live with you, and apparently I am better off than 81% of people now but that will plummet to 51% of people when both dc are 14 +. Obviously this is a crude tool, but it has been niggling at me.

Why are they so expensive and are none of the costs balanced by the absence of childcare fees with this age group ? Childcare is easily my biggest cost after my mortgage and I often think I will be better off when I don't need it anymore. Exactly what takes its place? I know food - and am already seeing it with ds1, but food can only cost so much, surely. What else is so expensive with teens? I know I probably sound stupid, but, hey, I want to know.

I think that driving lessons are not necessarily a luxury. We live rurally and factored the cost of driving in when we moved to a village. I appreciate not everyone can afford lessons for their children, but being able to drove is a huge advantage when job hunting. When ds1 left school and was looking for a job he would have been seriously restricted if he'd been unable to drive. His first job involved shifts, some of which finished at 1am. The last bus back to our village is at 7pm.

Ds2 is off to uni in September. He probably won't need to drive whilst at uni but may very well have to drive in whatever job he has after uni. It's not going to cut it if you're offered a job where being able to drive is a requirement and saying "can you hold the job until I've learned to drive and have passed my test". I've only ever had one job where I haven't been required to drive.

Absolutely no point in harping back. I was working part time (Saturday job) when I was 14. I wanted to do it. I wasn't forced into doing it. Both parents were head teachers!

YY being able to drive definitely opens doors. I was keen for DS1 to get his licence out of the way before University as I feared he wouldn't have a chance to otherwise.

Sorry have not rtft.
I can see how clothes and socialising will cost more when my dc are teenagers, food too, but I still can't see that outweighing the £5 per hour per child childminder fees I currently pay.

"I can see how clothes and socialising will cost more when my dc are teenagers, food too, but I still can't see that outweighing the £5 per hour per child childminder fees I currently pay."

Ha ha, I used to say the same thing... desperate to think that I'd be so much better off once my daughter started school. I wish I knew where the money goes, but I'm no better off - as soon as it comes in, the DDs spend it! There's always a trip, school bus, new uniform or something that needs buying!

Food, clothes, school trips, choir trips. None of which I begrudge. Until the age of 10 he was practically free! Two more to come.....

Nails and spa days... Really?! I don't those and I work!!

I still have to buy food, pay for uniform, clothes, school trips just now, and pay the equivalent of a second mortgage on childcare.

Clothes. Most are adult sizes, and try getting a teenager to wear what you pick. NO CHANCE.

my son has one pair of shoes. Because he will only wear Nike ones at £125 a pair. So while the rest of us have the choice of 15 pairs, all from cheap Asda, shoe zone, charity shop, whatever, he has one pair for everything.

They also have a "social life" to uphold, don't cha know?

Roll on the next few years when all this will be over for me.

sigh

It seems to me that the theme on here is very much about peer pressure. Not sure who is exerting or receiving it though teens or parents . By not wanting our kids to feel left out or teased we are perpetuating the whole toxic scenario. The only ppl who win are the clever corporations with good branding and sales spin.......we just fall into the trap .my dt are only 8 but this is helping to shape my resolve for the upcoming years.

Another theme is rapid growth to a large height: the clothes,the shoes, the food..
I now realise I could have saved a lot with a petite family.

I've had 3 teenagers and haven't noticed them being that expensive really.
School uniforms - mostly supermarket brands, thankfully
Clothes - mainly bought as birthday and christmas presents
Hobbies - 1 did karate, which was an expense but not too bad
Other son's main hobby was gaming. Again, mostly bought as presents.
Bus passes when they went to college (no sixth form)
Driving lessons - eldest paid for himself , younger I helped him out, depending on his job status
Phones - PAYG until they could take out their own contracts. And then it would be a tenner a month
Things like toiletries - they either use what I buy from poundland or superdrug or buy their own.
Socialising - they usually did quite cheap things which they could afford out of their pocket money or wages.
Both my sons worked. The eldest worked at least one part time job from age 13, often 2 or 3. My younger son found it harder to get work initially, but he has had a part time job for the last couple of years.
Really a lot depends on the lifestyle they have been brought up in. My kids always had what they needed, but never every single thing they wanted. We live in quite a poor area as well, so it's not like they've got to keep up with the Jones's.

I can't believe you buy them £125 Nikes!

If they go to university they will graduate with substantial debts so they won't have much disposable income for some time. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to give teenagers a lot of stuff when they won't be able to maintain the lifestyle themselves.

I don't have teens yet so may change my mind on this, but that would be my concern, not that I don't want my dc to have nice things.

BASIC FOOD AND CLOTHING! Son is aged 17, 6'3" height. Eats 72 Weetabix between meals to fill himself up!! Daughter is aged 13, 5'6" height. Size 7 (UK) shoes. EVERYTHING is adult sized and adult priced. Plus bras, sanitary towels... And they are still growing!! My husband and I haven't had new clothes for years! We look like tramps! Get ready!!!!

I have 4 teenagers ( well one almost) . We never really had childcare costs as have both always worked around each other. Three of mine are boys, they are all very tall, go to the gym ( we pay membership for 2 of them), and want to eat costly high protein food a lot ! They wear mens size clothes and shoes which are expensive. They go to parties and want us to buy cider, if we go on holiday they pay adult price, if we go out for a meal they no longer qualify for a kids meal as obviously they eat an adult size meal. When they hit 17 they want to learn to drive etc. My dd is getting to an age where she wants make up, hair coloured ( done cheaply by a local apprentice at home), £20 to go to the fair with her mates etc etc . It all adds up. We possibly do over indulge them by buying them the ( expensive ) trainers that they want but I grew up in a home where I had literally one set of clothes other than school uniform and I don't want them to grow up like that. My eldest has a job cleaning the changing rooms / toilets at his school, so he isn't workshy and does pay for quite a bit himself. My ds2 is going to college soon the bus fair alone is £400 a year, shool unifroms for the younger two are expensive once they go to secondary school.

School is a nightmare,especially sports stuff.No running around in t shirt and shorts with cheap plimsolls all year round.And it has to be the school branded stuff.Also it is made of material that doesn't last a year of normal wear and washing so needs regularly replacing.
DD is going into year 10 so there are folders,revision books,all her art stuff and paper to pay for.Add in all the kit for Duke of Edinburgh award.
I feel like crying everyone her feet grow.
Is there anything to nibble is a constant question and she goes through so much.
Luckily non of the kids do brands except for the boys with their football boots.

Hot head - recent Duke of Edinburgh cost us a fortune- walking boots ( couldn't find any to borrow), waterproof trousers etc !!

I don't see how teenagers cost more than the £800 per month childcare preschoolers cost, especially as they still eat a bit, go to activities, soft play and wear clothes. Granted their costs outside childcare are a lot smaller than teenagers. I just don't see how a teenager could cost more than a toddlers' day to day costs plus £800 childcare a month on unavoidable costs. Nobody here has said anything to the contrary as nobody has listed more than. £1000 of monthly necessary expenses for teenagers so yanbu.

Unfortunately I have 4 teenagers, my money goes on gym membership ( they do athletics so part of their training) running & gaa gear, which they do pay towards, school trips, gaeltach, grinds & phone. Now they do not cost me a penny on nights out, discos etc as they are too into their sport... oh and they eat me out of house & home😁😁

My DS1 is 9 and I took him clothes shopping this week. He has become so picky now, he has his own taste and that doesn't include supermarket t shirts. He did agree to one pair of Primark jeans but that was one item out of the whole shop (although I did agree tbh! the boys clothes there were awful!)

There is literally nothing to do unless you have some money as a teen! Everything costs loads as well lately! We went bowling earlier this week. One game, kids had a deal with hotdogs, chips and a drink included and me and DH had a drink and it was £45

I don't see how teenagers cost more than the £800 per month childcare preschoolers cost

My 9 year old can ruin his school shoes in THREE days!

As a sahp never had to worry about childcare. But teens / tween DC cost far more than preschooler. Shoes etc dearer. Adult meals in restaurants. Bras as girls.
Thankfully they are not motivated by brands but school uniform pricier as they grow plus mobile phones and school dinners and bus fares. It all mounts up.

Clothes , socialising, tech bills and food yes but now driving lessons ( Optional I know but I want them to drive) and £350month uni rent.

I agree that if you factor in childcare then teenagers don't cost as much. But childcare us only ££££ per month for a couple of years now that the 30 hours of free childcare has been introduced. So even if you have childcare for 45 hours per week you're only paying for 15 hours. Whereas they are teenagers for much longer than they are in childcare.

My teenage son is about to go to uni. He will take out the student loan but that is only £3600 per year because of our income. We are therefore paying his accommodation and he will use his student loan for living costs. His accommodation is £6,200 for the first year. We are also going to continue to insure the car for him so that he can work in the holidays so that's £800 for this year. So £7k at least, plus I'm sure there will be other costs this year.

When he was in 6th form the bus pass alone was £600 pa. He did his DofE Gold in 6th form which cost over £1000. He eats for England. He's vegan which, contrary to what everyone thinks, is bloody expensive if he's to get a balanced diet. So at least £50 a week on food I think. He plays lots of sport and his annual subs are over £500 per year plus match fees.

It all adds up.