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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that DH has spent the day cleaning his car!

153 replies

SameShitDifferentDay1 · 15/08/2017 17:11

We got back of holiday yesterday evening with our 2DS.

Today, I unpack and put away the clean cloths. Two lots of washing done, pegged out. Then do a big food shop and put it all away. As well as sorting out the two DS.

Whilst he spends the whole day cleaning his car!

AIBU to be a bit annoyed by? Oh but he did bring a shopping back in 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
SameShitDifferentDay1 · 15/08/2017 17:12

clothes not cloths!

OP posts:
Dancinginthemidnight · 15/08/2017 17:13

Yes I'd be very annoyed by that.

PinkHeart5911 · 15/08/2017 17:13

A whole day? Blimey is there any car left, surely his cleaned it away!

Takes me an hour if I do a proper inside & out, proper polish job. Less for a quick wash

Yanbu and I'd be annoyed too

MaisyPops · 15/08/2017 17:15

A whole day?!
A morning I could see if he did the full insides etc. If I do all the insides, hoover boot and behind seats when they're fooled etc then it can take me 2 hours.

I'm not sure what he's doing for a whole day

MistressDeeCee · 15/08/2017 17:15

Yeah Id want to aim a rock at back of OH's head if he did that. I wouldn't mind the car cleaning as long as other essentials aren't ignored.. Help with the necessary household stuff 1st then potter about with car!

Topseyt · 15/08/2017 17:15

Is he trying to wash the car down the drain yet?

Original poster
SameShitDifferentDay1 · 15/08/2017 17:15

Yes the whole day. Started at 10.30 and finished around 4. Did inside and out.

OP posts:
AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 15/08/2017 17:17

Should of left the kids with him to help then fucked off fir a coffee and cake.

Still can its only 5:17

Original poster
SameShitDifferentDay1 · 15/08/2017 17:18

Think he might have waxed it as well. He always spends the day on it. It's his pride and joy. Think he'd fuck it if he could.

OP posts:
Vanillamanilla1 · 15/08/2017 17:19

If the car needs cleaning then it needs cleaning
Mine does and I'll imagine it'll take me the best part of a day too inside and out

Out2pasture · 15/08/2017 17:19

did you use the car for two weeks and have several road hours worth of crumbs dust and sugary drink spills? it very well might be an all day job.
I just finished 4 weeks with 2 grand kids and it will take me a month to clean it out :(
it wouldn't bother me at all if someone took all day to tend to it.

TheFairyCaravan · 15/08/2017 17:23

DH spends all day on our cars too. I don't understand it. He washes them every week without fail, regardless of the weather. Mine rarely gets used but it still gets washed. He hoovers his out every weekend, when our kids were small they weren't allowed to eat in them either.

He spent all day Sunday cleaning DS1's who was on holiday. Apparently it was too dirty to use to pick the kids up from the airport in. Hmm

I feel your pain OP.

Original poster
SameShitDifferentDay1 · 15/08/2017 17:28

I don't mind him spending the day cleaning it, but not the day after we've got back from hols.

I think he just expected me to do everything with regards to unpacking, washing and food shopping.

OP posts:
MarmaladeIsMyJam · 15/08/2017 17:34

Why didn't you tell him to leave the fucking car and give you a hand? I know you shouldn't have to ask him but stop being a doormat!

Awholenewstart · 15/08/2017 17:36

Surely the car is a job needing doing too though, it's not like he was out playing golf. I would rather do the washing and shopping than clean the car.

Maya12 · 15/08/2017 17:44

When we get home from hols we sit down with a cuppa/over breakfast, make a list of things that need doing and divvy up the tasks. Then it's up to each of us to get on with things in whatever order we like. Works for us...

Allthebestnamesareused · 15/08/2017 17:45

Did you tell him you wanted him to help you? If not, then perhaps a bit unrealistic to expect him to mind read.

If you did, then why didn't you follow up your request when it was apparent he wasn't helping?

ButtfaceMiscreant · 15/08/2017 17:47

Next time take it to the car wash, done in 15mins if you go to a hand one.

Blazedandconfused · 15/08/2017 17:49

Did you ask him to stop and help you?

Purplemac · 15/08/2017 17:49

DH could easily spend 5 hours cleaning his car. It's honestly liÄ·e a hobby.

I tell him I don't mind him doing it but that it doesn't count as a chore - so he needs to work with me to get all the household stuff done first.

If he did it straight after coming back from holiday there would be murder.

MistressDeeCee · 15/08/2017 17:50

These men and their "opt out" chores that THEY like, so as to avoid doing the domestics they don't like with their oh its ok the wife will do it all attitude. Its so blatant. Id call him out on it but is there even a point - can't teach a grown man to suck eggs they know what must be done, they just actively don't do it. They take the easy route

Jaimx86 · 15/08/2017 17:55

Did you take DSs food shopping?

ilovesooty · 15/08/2017 18:02

I don't understand why you didn't just talk with him about what needed to be done and how you were going to complete the tasks between you.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/08/2017 18:02

Did you have any kind of conversation about the chores that needed doing or are you being a martyr? I'm not sure from your post OP.

I know plenty of women who do the huffing and puffing (and enjoy doing that) whilst refusing any offers of help saying it's quicker if they do it. This is obviously martyrish and pathetic behaviour that has no excuse.

If you have jobs allocated then you can both do them to your own timetable and get them finished. The car still needs to be cleaned in any case.

Is it that he's not spending time with you and you think he's choosing that - or just that you don't think the division of labour is fair?

MeanAger · 15/08/2017 18:05
Shock

I cleaned my car on Saturday. It was stinking dirty covered in kids crap, loads of golden retriever hat and slobber, crumbs, lollipop sticks, bark from branches the dog had carried in etc. Really humming. Took me 20 minutes. Your DH is having a giraffe!