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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that DH has spent the day cleaning his car!

153 replies

SameShitDifferentDay1 · 15/08/2017 17:11

We got back of holiday yesterday evening with our 2DS.

Today, I unpack and put away the clean cloths. Two lots of washing done, pegged out. Then do a big food shop and put it all away. As well as sorting out the two DS.

Whilst he spends the whole day cleaning his car!

AIBU to be a bit annoyed by? Oh but he did bring a shopping back in 🙄

OP posts:
sharklovers · 16/08/2017 08:23

your cars have increased in value by £30k in 12months

Well done! You understand the concept of appreciation!

MeanAger · 16/08/2017 08:28

What kind of cars are we talking about here that increase in value, never mind by that much over a year? Go on, pics or it didn't happen.

thatdearoctopus · 16/08/2017 08:30

A vintage or 'hobby' car is unlikely to have been used to take the whole family on holiday, so how long people like to spend cleaning those is frankly irrelevant.

I accept that cleaning a car that has been used for a family holiday does need to be done (for lots of people) on return. However, if this bloke spent 6 hours doing it, which is over-the-top by most normal people's standards) then it indicates he was enjoying the job and using it to get out of the other jobs that also needed doing.

And as for DH wants the house to be cleaned as his parents are coming over tomorrow... He thinks I am avoiding doing it Hmm WTF? And is there any reason why he's not getting on and doing it then?

Original poster
SameShitDifferentDay1 · 16/08/2017 08:33

Scooby, I think having clean clothes is more of a priority then a clean car! 'Poor bloke wants to chill when he gets back' and this poor woman would like to chill also, but that's not an option 😡

DS1 helped him clean the car whilst I told DS2 food shopping.

DH has just asked me what I'm doing today, I said more washing and ironing. His reply 'OK, I'm going to get my hair cut' 😡

Argh, why does he think it's my job to do everything? My hair could do with a cut and my eyebrows need waxing, but they'll have to wait as not a priority.

OP posts:
Original poster
SameShitDifferentDay1 · 16/08/2017 08:36

MeanAger, I'm also intrigued to see these cars. Pictures please!

OP posts:
NevermindtheBollocks · 16/08/2017 08:36

I agree with thenew It's a vicious circle cleaning the car, you do it, it takes effort and then it gets shit on soon after anyway!

TBF, my car is usually an absolute state inside. We hoover maybe once every 6 months.
DH did it the other day after coming home from camping. He washed it too. It took an hour tops, and that was with cleaning the surfaces inside for the 1st time in about 2 years.

yanbu.

NevermindtheBollocks · 16/08/2017 08:39

Fuck your last reply same

Stick yours and ds clothes in a and leave his out, then leave the washer on and go out before dh suggesting he take the dc for hair cuts too!

thatdearoctopus · 16/08/2017 08:44

Haircuts. See, there's an implication there that his haircut is a functional chore that needs completing. I bet, if she were to say she was going to the hairdresser's, it would be perceived more as "swanning" off for a luxury doss.

Scoobydoobydont · 16/08/2017 08:45

Scooby, I think having clean clothes is more of a priority then a clean car! 'Poor bloke wants to chill when he gets back' and this poor woman would like to chill also, but that's not an option 😡

You do, he doesn't. I never wear the stuff I wear on holiday when I am at home so couldn't give a toss if it sat in the suitcase for a month.

Doesn't make either of us right, just different priorities. You are all making out like the world would have ended if she hadn't just done the washing - it wouldn't.

And billow to food shopping when you get back. Book a home delivery for the next day and get a takeaway in.

Life is too short to be making work for yourself but a lot of women these days to seem to like making a big drama of having to do things that will just wait.

Scoobydoobydont · 16/08/2017 08:47

Haircuts. See, there's an implication there that his haircut is a functional chore that needs completing. I bet, if she were to say she was going to the hairdresser's, it would be perceived more as "swanning" off for a luxury doss

My hair is short and needs cutting every couple of weeks or at work it looks a right mess round neck and ears.

Wife's hair is longer and a few days/weeks make sod all difference to how it looks so yes, a mans haircut often "needs" doing where a woman's might benefit from a cut at some point in the next few weeks.

coconuttella · 16/08/2017 08:51

Can't believe some people believe it's reasonable to spend a whole day cleaning a car when there are a whole bunch of chores to do and children to look after... I'm sure a day could be spent on cleaning a car if you're trying to win 'world's most sparkling car competition' but an hour, maybe an hour and a half, is plenty to get it decent.

I wouldn't bother personally... I'd go to the car wash.

Cherrytart6 · 16/08/2017 08:51

That's weird prioritising cleaning a car above essential basic chores!

thatdearoctopus · 16/08/2017 08:55

No, I think cleaning the car is on the same list of chores to be done (after a holiday in it). What is not on is stringing it out for the whole day to get out of doing all the other stuff.

sharklovers · 16/08/2017 08:56

What kind of cars are we talking about here that increase in value, never mind by that much over a year? Go on, pics or it didn't happen.

Not going to put myself on here but you do realise that classic and collectible cars appreciate right? I'll give you two examples in my collection though, a '97 Honda NSX and an '03 BMW M3 CSL. There are another 8 in the collection, some modern classics and others dating back to the early 60s.

MeanAger · 16/08/2017 08:57

DH has just asked me what I'm doing today, I said more washing and ironing. His reply 'OK, I'm going to get my hair cut' 😡

Quick! Change your mind. Tell him he can stay home and do all the necessary stuff and you're getting your hair cut/seeing a friend. He had yesterday off, you get today off.

thatdearoctopus · 16/08/2017 08:58

Actually, what really pissed me off once, was an ex-boyfriend who insisted we take my car to France (as he didn't want to "spoil" his and add to its mileage). We were away touring for three weeks or so, so the car was a right mess inside and out when we got back. He went straight out and washed HIS, leaving mine filthy next to it.

Note, he's an ex.

MeanAger · 16/08/2017 09:00

Ahh so ten cars have increased in value in total. Not individually. So yeah, a £600 tin of wax is a false economy.

thatdearoctopus · 16/08/2017 09:00

Sharklovers You are arguing a totally separate argument here. How long it takes you to maintain a niche hobby is very different from this bloke, who is meant to be giving the family car a quick once-over so he can then get on with other things that need doing.

Meanager · 16/08/2017 09:01

I never wear the stuff I wear on holiday when I am at home so couldn't give a toss if it sat in the suitcase for a month.

Ok so in your world you are just responsible for your own clothes, not your kids'?

YouTheCat · 16/08/2017 09:05

Get the man some nice beige slacks and a cardigan... and a pipe. Grin

Scoobydoobydont · 16/08/2017 09:07

*I never wear the stuff I wear on holiday when I am at home so couldn't give a toss if it sat in the suitcase for a month.

Ok so in your world you are just responsible for your own clothes, not your kids'?*

Not sure how you jumped to that conclusion but my kids don't take every item of clothing they own on holiday either.

Some people see it as a necessity to wash everything as soon as they get back, others don't. Who cares?

For me the few days after I get back are still part of the holiday and I would leave all the shit jobs and live off takeaways and meals out and not be stressing about washing and buying food.

YouTheCat · 16/08/2017 09:09

Sharklovers, I seriously doubt that the OP's family-runaround is a classic car. Nothing you've said is remotely relevant.

Do you have beige slacks and a cardigan?

Meanager · 16/08/2017 09:10

Not sure how you jumped to that conclusion but my kids don't take every item of clothing they own on holiday either.

But you're happy to let your kids' clothes fester in a suitcase for a month. So yeah, obviously their other parent has to do it. Win win for you eh?

Scoobydoobydont · 16/08/2017 09:14

But you're happy to let your kids' clothes fester in a suitcase for a month. So yeah, obviously their other parent has to do it. Win win for you eh?

What makes you think the other parent has to do it just because I don't want to do it the day I get back? Do you always jump to conclusions (it would sit there a lot more than a month if I waited for my wife to do it, not sure she even knows how the machine works tbh)

Good on you for assuming you know the in and outs of how our house runs though.

thatdearoctopus · 16/08/2017 09:16

So the few days after returning are also part of the holiday so you can't be expected to do dull chores? Does that include dull things like clearing away all the fattening and expensivetakeaway boxes, or is that wife-work?
And after that post-holiday wind-down period is over? Ah yes, you're back to work. And who does the washing etc then?

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