To be annoyed that DH has spent the day cleaning his car!

[SameShitDifferentDay1]

We got back of holiday yesterday evening with our 2DS.

Today, I unpack and put away the clean cloths. Two lots of washing done, pegged out. Then do a big food shop and put it all away. As well as sorting out the two DS.

Whilst he spends the whole day cleaning his car!

AIBU to be a bit annoyed by? Oh but he did bring a shopping back in 🙄

You need to have a conversation about why you're feeling fucked off. It's all very well saying you shouldn't have to ask, or have to point things out or whatever, but unless you do he is just going to carry on doing whatever the fuck he wants and you'll carry on feeling pissed off.

So the few days after returning are also part of the holiday so you can't be expected to do dull chores? Does that include dull things like clearing away all the fattening and expensivetakeaway boxes, or is that wife-work?
And after that post-holiday wind-down period is over? Ah yes, you're back to work. And who does the washing etc then?

Another conclusion jumper.

How the hell did you arrive at that from what I posted? Talk about assuming all men are evil and lazy and women are perfect!

I am perfectly capabale of tidying and washing up after a takaway,the fact that you would even list it as a thing that needs doing when it takes less than five minutes would suggest you don't have much to worry about. It wouldn't even register as a thing, it just happens it's so insignificant.

My wife and I both work and I do way more housework than she does but what's that got to do with anything? The point was simply don't all jump on the bloke for doing something he wanted to do just because he has different priorities to you/a load of woman who have so little to worry about that doing the washing and putting some boxes in the bin even register as a task.

Of course you shouldn't have to ask, but there's no way I would have carried on doing all that shit-work whilst he was outside merrily polishing his pride and joy.

What makes you think the other parent has to do it just because I don't want to do it the day I get back?

Because YOU said you would happily let the stuff sit there for a month. Those are your words. If in fact you didn't actually mean it then fine, but then don't say it.

Perhaps after a week of being together he just needed a bit of head space and some time alone. I don't mean that in an unkind way but some people really do need alone time to function well. At least he was being useful while he was being alone.
I totally understand how it is when they just leave you to it. X

Have to love all these men that brag about how "relaxed" they are about house stuff but then get offended when you repeat back to them what they said.

OP in your shoes I would down tools and take myself off somewhere to get your chill time.

We had this row. Now the car has to be cleaned by the kids as well at the same time. After all it's such an important job they need to learn don't they?

We now have filthy cars

Mind you not as bad as next door. He has come back a week early off the family hols to go back to work. He's very important you see, normally putting in 12 hour days. Needs must even though he misses a lot of time with his 3 very young kids. Shame he can't work remotely.

I've just seen him in his pj's grabbing his charger out the car. (Which is very clean I might add)

Because YOU said you would happily let the stuff sit there for a month. Those are your words. If in fact you didn't actually mean it then fine, but then don't say it.

But you are assuming it can't and won't just sit there for a month. It's holiday clothes, who gives a shit if it sits in the case for a month? It sure as hell doesn't "need" doing as soon as you get back - by anyone. We would much rather chill with the kids, talk about the holiday, go and see family etc.

Plenty of time in the coming weeks to wash some shorts, which incidentally is nowhere near the "job" people are making it out to be. It's just a bit of bloody washing

But you are assuming it can't and won't just sit there for a month.

Oh it can, of course it can sit there for a month. Whether it should or not is a different issue. I was on holiday last month. All my DC shorts and most of their Tshirts plus much of their underwear were in the suitcase. Maybe you have oodles of clothing and money (for endless takeaways until you feel like filling the fridge). In this house it is back to normal out of necessity. Lucky for you if that's not the case.

We would much rather chill with the kids, talk about the holiday, go and see family etc.

Cleaning the car for 6 hours isn't exactly the same as all of the above now is it? He wasn't avoiding the necessary jobs so as to extend his family time.

endless takeaways until you feel like filling the fridge). In this house it is back to normal out of necessity. Lucky for you if that's not the case.

If I didn't have a bit of spare cash for takeaways and spare clothes I wouldn't be going on holiday tbh and would be putting that money into a savings account but that's a whole different thread.

Fucking stupid and entitled wanky behaviour. Clean the car once all the stuff in the house is done ffs.

Well, I'm certainly not one to make work where there's an alternative, but even I take exception to the idea that all there is to do after holiday is to chuck a couple of pairs of shorts in the machine.
Depends on the trip of course, but there are all the odds and ends to sort out - snorkels, flippers, sandy towels, beach toys, playing cards/board games, smeary sun-cream bottles, random souvenirs, ipads to charge, swimming stuff that may still be damp (and will therefore rot if left) but needed once home too, reading books to go away, picnic boxes to wash out and store, passports to file, dog blanket/bed/leads/bowls to sort, wellingtons/waterproofs, maybe bikes to take off the car, roof box to empty ....The list goes on.
You're going to leave all that?

Ooh, low dig. You have no idea what the circumstances of my holiday were.

If I didn't have a bit of spare cash for takeaways and spare clothes I wouldn't be going on holiday tbh and would be putting that money into a savings account but that's a whole different thread.

That doesn't make sense. If they choose to prioritise a holiday over takeaways why is that an issue?

Or the status of my savings accounts for that matter. Savings that wouldn't be getting blown on takeaway because I couldn't be arsed to get some food in the fridge.

And scooby, I think I have children in my class who must have parents like you. They're the ones who stand around chatting when everyone else is scurrying around tidying up at the end of a session.

And in my experience, "laid-back, chilled" people like scooby, who can't see the need to stress about mundane boring things like clearing up after yourself, are usually doing so off the backs of other people, who are invariably taking up their slack.

Life is too short to be making work for yourself but a lot of women these days to seem to like making a big drama of having to do things that will just wait.
Exactly! At the end of the day it takes a couple of mins to stick clothes in a washing machine, and a couple to get them out after and stick them on the line / in the dryer. Maybe 20 mins doing a big online shop (and I see that as pleasure!). Nothing has to be ironed anymore than the car has to be cleaned. And the kids could be utilised in putting their own clean clothes away and putting the shopping away (unless you're obsessive like me and want it in a particular place). You're talking a couple of hours work absolute tops and unless you had no clean clothes left and couldn't survive on a takeaway then not even that was necessary. You could have been stretched out on the sofa with a packet of biscuits in one hand and the remote in the other while he was pandering to the car. Your choice not to. Don't blame other people for your own priorities and choices - if you don't want to do something then don't. Or better still, communicate rather than complaining to strangers. If more people communicated (except Donald Trump who would be better off keeping quiet) the world would be a more peaceful place.

And scooby, I think I have children in my class who must have parents like you. They're the ones who stand around chatting when everyone else is scurrying around tidying up at the end of a session.

I'd say I am more one of the parents who just does stuff without making a big drama out of it while chatting at the same time,rather than one of the ones who runs round telling everyone they have put a chair away.

And in my experience, "laid-back, chilled" people like scooby, who can't see the need to stress about mundane boring things like clearing up after yourself, are usually doing so off the backs of other people, who are invariably taking up their slack.

Not that it's relevant, but since you are all making out like it's a big deal to do some washing and get some food it, this laid back person who lets other people take up the slack has single handedly started two businesses which now employ over 150!people between them.

Has managed hundreds of projects around the world, and done huge amounts over the years without anyone having to "pick up the slack"

I just can't get people making out running a house is hard and time consuming, especially when most of what they stress about is stuff that either doesn't need doing or can be done much more efficiently with a bit of thought.

Oh scooby was probably too cool for school.

Scooby, we don't live off takeaways several days after the holiday because my DC eat enough junk on holiday so it's back to healthy eating the day after we return.

And yes all the clothes need washing asap because we didn't go abroad so it's everyday clothes that we took and you have DC so you know how quick they go through clothes, especially boys!!

It takes more then a couple of minutes to do washing and hang out, that's before the ironing.

No it wouldn't take me a whole day to do the car. Then again it wouldn't take me a whole day to unpack and do a food shop, unless of course you live in the arse end of nowhere and your nearest supermarket is two hours away. Surely that's what the day after the hols is for? Getting all the jobs done and washing on? It's what I did on Sunday, a billion loads of washing, big shop and hoovered all the sand out my car.

Not that it's relevant, but since you are all making out like it's a big deal to do some washing and get some food it, this laid back person who lets other people take up the slack has single handedly started two businesses which now employ over 150!people between them.

Don't say it if it's not relevant.