To be annoyed that DH has spent the day cleaning his car!

[SameShitDifferentDay1]

We got back of holiday yesterday evening with our 2DS.

Today, I unpack and put away the clean cloths. Two lots of washing done, pegged out. Then do a big food shop and put it all away. As well as sorting out the two DS.

Whilst he spends the whole day cleaning his car!

AIBU to be a bit annoyed by? Oh but he did bring a shopping back in 🙄

Op and her dh need to have that discussion. Everyone has their own priorities. Maybe after two weeks of camping in the bush going to the salon is a priority ;)

I can spend 8 hours "doing" the car. I can't say clean because I goes so much further than just cleaning. If I was driving the car any distance it needs the full works as far as I am concerned and this is a priority for me. I would do it before I even do a food shop but I also recognise that I am obsessed with my car and that I have several hundreds of pounds of products that I use to do the task. A full job starts with a wash, then clay decontamination, machine polish with a cleanser (scratch removal by machine if necessary), then application of wax/sealant. Wheels get brake dust remover soak then wash inside and out. Inside gets total vacuum, windows washed and surfaces wiped with UV protectant. Fabric roof gets vacuumed and washed and sealed if necessary. Cleaning includes inside of bonnet, boot lid, exhaust chromes, inside of door trims and paintwork on inside of doors.

Like I said, I'm a bit obsessed and tbh I can be very obstinate about how much I prioritise cleaning my car and bike. I am a member of other forums where we car cleaning obsessives gather. It's a "thing"

That makes 2 of us posh no doubt you feel my pain when others post of a "perfect job" for £14 lol.

He can spend as long as he wants cleaning the car any other day, just not the day after we get back off holiday.

NO car needs 16 hours to be clean. You're choosing to tell yourself it does for whatever reason. Distracting yourself from something else or avoiding doing something else. That doesn't mean other people's cars aren't clean.

NO car needs 16 hours to be clean. You're choosing to tell yourself it does for whatever reason

You clearly have no idea about car detailing. There are companies out there that will spend 30 days detailing a car. It's not simply about being clean but removing damage and adding protection once that is achieved. Considering the value of cars it makes serious sense to keep them in tip top condition. The wax I use costs £600 for 200ml.

It's not simply about being clean but removing damage and adding protection once that is achieved.

Like I said, no car needs 16 hours to be clean. Removing damage and adding protection is not cleaning. It's extra work you have decided to do to increase the time you get to spend with your car instead of whatever/whoever it isn't you are avoiding.

No one should prioritise cleaning a fairly clean car over sorting the chores required in the house. When uou get back from hols, you need food shopping for you and rhe family , you need to unpack, you need to wash clothes and hang them up that will be needed. It's not one persons job because the other is obsessed with cleaning their car.

I can't imagine coming home from holiday, and saying to my husband, right uou get it all done, I'm off to clean the car all day. Selfish. I don't give a shit if car cleaning obsession is a thing. There is a time and s place.

It's called a displacement activity. Finding something to keep you busy and look like you're working hard while in fact you're avoiding what you should be doing. Like discovering you really must do the ironing when you need to revise for an exam.

Sharklovers 'The wax I use costs £600 for 200ml'....err ok!!

If you're spending £600 for 200ml of car wax, plus god knows how much else for all the other crap your car 'must' have then your kidding yourself if you're doing it to maintain the value of the car. Total false economy.

I keep saying mumsnet isnt what it was and here we go again. Its the bloody woman's job to remind him that washing, unpacking and shopping need to be done. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! No it fucking well isnt. Hes a grown adult. He knows that there are dirty clothes in suitcases that need to be washed dried ironed and put away. He knows there is no food in the house. Where on earth do people think the OP learnt this mystical information from.

And as for pp who said washing just takes a few minutes to switch onand hang out. Maybe in your wonderful world, but in mine I have spent prob up to around 4 hours by the time it gets sorted washed, pegged out, taken in, ironed and put away. And where do you live that you can drive to a supermarket, do a full on shop, load it into the car, drive home and put it away in an hour? Cos I really really want to live there

and breathe

There is a hell of a difference in 'detailing' a top price car and washing the family car and cleaning the inside!

Washing a car with £600 car wax will not stop the car depreciating in value. Cars start losing value the moment they leave the forecourt.

@sharklovers yay I'm glad I'm not the only one! So few women on the detailing forums!

Of course it not about the value of the car - I drive a 10 yr old 2 seater with 150K on the clock - If its work 1K I'd be lucky! Its not about the cleanliness either - although it does look really shiny! Its a hobby, just like the dreaded golf or bloody cycling. I do it because I enjoy the process and I find it very enjoyable.

I absolutely would come home from holiday and clean the car before doing anything else, but seeing as I am the -housekeeper- -dogsbody- -woman-, I am not leaving -him- anyone to do the washing, shopping, chores. They will -of course- wait until I do them, because, god forbid someone else in this household apart from me should do any! But that's another story.

DH wants the house to be cleaned as his parents are coming over tomorrow. My parents are coming today, but he's not fussed by that.

I, on the other hand, need to do the washing for the holiday, sweep the garden so ds x2 can play there with the pils, cut ds1 hair, clean the hamster, walk and brush the dog, plus shop.

DH will think I'm avoiding cleaning the house. I am. But my jobs need doing, too.

I can't imagine spending 5 minutes of my life cleaning to a car, life's too short. I take mine to be valeted every 6 months. The rest of the time it looks like crap.

My dh would see cleaning the car after a holiday (and before) as important as sorting the clothes.

For Christ's sake I take mine to the local supermarket where they have a car valet place. Takes 30 minutes. He's clearly doing it to avoid helping.

Cars start losing value the moment they leave the forecourt

If you buy mainstream then yes. My daily beater for example of course depreciates. But let's say you buy a new £50k car, one that's been pampered is going to be easier to sell than one that's been taken to the local hand car wash every week and scratched to buggery. My toys are only going one way in value. In the past 12 months the toys have appreciated somewhere between £30k-£40k, therefore keeping them pristine is well worth it.

I'm sorry but no car needs cleaning unless it's a) being used for a wedding or some other thing for financial gain or good deed or b) a human or animal has vomitted or pooed inside it.

My thoughts exactly. I clean my car less than once a year, when it's so dirty I'm at risk of getting marks on my clothes if I brush against it.

It's a car, it goes along dirty roads, through muddy puddles and over horse shit and roadkill. I don't understand this obsession, and thankfully DP doesn't have it.

Now he's finished the car he can start on the garden, surely the grass needs a cut if you have been away and since you have done everything else you can sit and watch him from a deckchair with drink in hand.

Of course it not about the value of the car - I drive a 10 yr old 2 seater with 150K on the clock - If its work 1K I'd be lucky! Its not about the cleanliness either - although it does look really shiny! Its a hobby, just like the dreaded golf or bloody cycling.

Exactly - OP's DH spent all day on a hobby, while leaving all the essential stuff of feeding the family and running the the house to her.

Why are people going on about a suitcase "needing" to be emptied and clothes "needing" to be washed and put away.

Poor bloke wants to chill when he gets back by waging his car, he probably enjoys it and gets pleasure from it and prioritises it over washing a few T shirts and pants. I can't blame him, it's not like the world is going to end if a few socks spend a few more hours (or days, or heaven forbid weeks) packed in a suitcase.

My Dad always cut the lawn first thing when we got back because he liked the lawn to be nice and it drove Mum nuts while she ran around doing her own list of things that "needed" doing in her mind, but nominee else's.

Surely the kids could have helped him do the exterior washing?

My toys are only going one way in value. In the past 12 months the toys have appreciated somewhere between £30k-40k

your cars have increased in value by £30k in 12months?

Why are people going on about a suitcase "needing" to be emptied and clothes "needing" to be washed and put away.

You're right. his clothes can wait. He clearly doesn't need clean clothes. He can wear his clean car. It can also supervise his children and buy his food.