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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

With my first world problem-beach hut issue.

349 replies

LesleyKnopeIsdope · 15/08/2017 11:05

We've been on the waiting list for a beach for for ages.

A new set are being built and we've been successful in securing a great one.

We were going to buy but I've had to put a hold on it for the following reasons-

I was trying to -using the square footage/floor plans - plan where storage stuff and table/mini kitchen would go etc and asked DH for his help

He's basically dismissed everything and told me that his kayack is going in and that everything else will have to fit around it.

His kayak will only fit it its diagonal and he's refusing to have is hing from the ceiling (which means everyone will have to bend anyway to avoid concussion - there's no permission granted for lockable storage under either.

I asked him is he'd also maintain /paint do essential repairs as he does nothing at home-answer- no im happy just to have somewhere for a kettle and a kayack. No consideration for anyone else or anyone else's enjoyment of it.

I've told him I'm withdrawing from it then- which he's having a huge strop.

I already do every shred of maintencance/work/upkeep on our home he helps with nothing- he has a home office which looks like he's Mr Trebus's protégée ND can just see myself wishing I'd not bothered.

Am I being unreasonable to withdraw (and think £18k for a kayack storage facility because DH is too fucking lazy to take his out of the shed and onto the car) and look elsewhere for myself and he kids?

[edited to correct copy and paste errors at OP's request]

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
Macncheesewithbacon · 15/08/2017 14:57

He's emotionally abusing you and exerting coercive control by using a double bind - whatever you do you won't get what you want.

SilverySurfer · 15/08/2017 15:01

I would definitely buy the beach hut (so jealous) and if your H puts his kayak in, I'm sure you can bat your eyelashes at a couple of muscly youths to drag it out and dump it on the beach.

I would also be adding a padlock for which only you have the key.

What a selfish arse - one of many going by the threads on here - it's so depressing.

Shadow666 · 15/08/2017 15:02

You'd be crazy to pass up on this beach hut. It sounds a great deal. Just be firm, no kayak in the beach hut. Non-negotiable. The beach hut is for everyone not just him.

M10s · 15/08/2017 15:06

"He'd change the locks and throw the kayack in.No joke."

Would he really, Lesley?

Say you got the Beach Hut, and you immediately decorated it beautifully, put down a lovely floor covering, added a daybed and some relaxing chairs, a small table and a mini or camp kitchen ... would he still do that, Lesley?

Would he pile his kayak in regardless, wrecking your decoration, your furnishings and your dream?

Because if he would, then I think your relationship has far bigger problems than the question of where to store a kayak!

[now to read the next 6 pages and discover it's all been resloved]

stayathomegardener · 15/08/2017 15:11

For god sake buy the beach hut.
You can keep it in the divorce, he can keep his kayak.

banivani · 15/08/2017 15:11

I think the OP is being unreasonable. For reference I googled for beach hut interior with kayak and found these lovely examples. Clearly it's completely doable and nothing to fuss about.*

*(If my pictures don't load now I'm going to look a right eejit, let's hope my humpurous images are visible ...)

With my first world problem-beach hut issue.
With my first world problem-beach hut issue.
With my first world problem-beach hut issue.
arousingcheer · 15/08/2017 15:15

A second property, even a beach hut, will mean doing more of what you do at home in a second location.

We bought a second home and it is lovely but today I will spend all day doing laundry, making beds, putting out rubbish and cleaning before I drive home. Dh is at home in London working hard and I am closing up after being here for three weeks, so it's not like he's here sitting on his arse and I'm not complaining. Things need doing and one of us has to do them. If he was here he'd be doing it.

You will do the same on a smaller scale, and if dh is useless at home he will be useless at the beach. If he sees the hut as a kayak storage space he will treat it that way. If you don't want your lovely beach hut to look like a shed you'll be swimming against the tide, npi.

Also if you're feeling arsey with each other at home keep in mind you'll be sharing your downtime (and what sound like opposing hobbies) in a much smaller space.

If only we could all afford his and hers beach huts/sheds/homes I'm sure a lot of marriages would be happier and longer-lasting!

sweetbitter · 15/08/2017 15:15

Maybe a stupid question but couldn't you still fit it all out really nicely, and still store the kayak in there? And when you actually use the beach hut just take the kayak out and prop it up outside against the wall? So it would only a tally be in there when it's locked up IYSWIM?

sweetbitter · 15/08/2017 15:15

only actually be

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/08/2017 15:18

Or maybe she should trade in her DH for one who will transport his kayak by car?

With my first world problem-beach hut issue.
KickAssAngel · 15/08/2017 15:21

Get the beach hut, and put some fittings in there that block the kayak so he has no chance of putting it in there. It doesn't sound like he'd be that quick to get the kayak down there.

Or LTB, and make sure you get the kayak in the divorce settlement.

He sounds horrendous - beyond selfish and into controlling territory.

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/08/2017 15:22

sweet RTFT. The kayak is a great fuck off thing that the OP is unable to move by herself and the DH only uses about 5 times a year.

Even if she could move it, it sounds like she would spend more time shifting it in and out than her DH will actually kayak about in it.

As an aside, I've discovered that, outside the school holidays, I can rent a beach hut for the day at the coast about 1.5 hours from where I am from as little as £20. I think I might rent one for the day to go and use and just sit in front of, watching the world go by, and fantasise about owning.

HotelEuphoria · 15/08/2017 15:24

Please read the thread! OP has already said it's huge and too big for her to manoeuvre and will only fit in the hut diagonally which would prevent her furnishing the hut or using it in the method for which it is intended, which I imagine is to sit in out of the sun, get changed in, have tea and sandwiches and watch the sea.....sounds fab!

Her NH DH (nob head DH) doesn't care about the furnishings just wants to store his kayak in it. He only uses the kayak 5 times a year. The OP wants to use the hut throughout the year with her children.

Original poster
LesleyKnopeIsdope · 15/08/2017 15:24

Staples I'm very sorry that I haven't got a solution or not what to do in a couple of hours- very sorry to disappoint you Hmm

I've mentioned to my mum about her and dad coming in with me half and half.

I've told DH we're not buying it as a glorified shed

OP posts:
maxthemartian · 15/08/2017 15:26

stitch I love that memory if your gran feeling like the Queen with her cup of tea Smile

ooerrmissus · 15/08/2017 15:28

How is the kayak currently insured? As a quick google would suggest beach hut insurance covers watercraft up to a maximum of 25% of the total contents value. I dare say there will be specialist insurers who may cover it for a price. But i suspect they would cost a lot more. And it's unlikely your home insurance would cover it if it's being stored in a beach hut. Be worth checking.

TheABC · 15/08/2017 15:28

Your DH must be really, really good at sex.

Because, so far, I have failed to see any other reason why you are still with him.

The beach hut sounds like a good investment and the cumulation of a dream for you. He can stick his kayak down at the marina.

Shadow666 · 15/08/2017 15:31

PMSL banivani! Nicely done.

thenightsky · 15/08/2017 15:36

sweetbitter The OP has stated that she cannot move the kayak at all as it is too heavy, even for her and the DC together due to physical issues.

NannyRed · 15/08/2017 15:38

Is there no way you can have the beautiful beach hut you want and shove the kayak in as well, obviously when you visit the beach hut you will take the kayak out and either leave it just outside or send hubby off to sea. When you're not at the hut you shove the kayak in at an angle.

stitchglitched · 15/08/2017 15:39

Thank you max, it is a lovely memory of a lovely lady Smile

Alittlepotofrosie · 15/08/2017 15:44

@banivani

Very good Grin

I hope you get the beautiful beach hut you want op. Your dh is a twat.

eddielizzard · 15/08/2017 15:47

buy with your mum and dad. then your dh's share is 25% and his kayak gets vetoed.

i think you need to start another thread about your relationship!

MadMags · 15/08/2017 15:48

£18k for a kayak-shed? Fuck that.

I'd rather not get it!

MadMags · 15/08/2017 15:50

Aside from all that, does he have ANY redeeming qualities? Because he sounds like an absolute prick.