Is this wanky? Would you come?

[Crossoldwasp]

Hi all,

DH's and my ten-year wedding anniversary is still a little way off yet, but I'm starting to think about putting on a low-key but "naice" event to celebrate with close friends and family (25 - 30 guests), and need to check that I'm not breaking any of the MN rules in relation to wedding-related party planning :)

What I'm thinking is to hire a room at the same venue where we got married (small Tudor hotel) and put on an afternoon tea (largely self-catered) and shitloads of prosecco event for mid-afternoon.

I wasn't thinking to do an evening event after, mainly as budget wouldn't stretch that far - though not sure what guests would make of this...? Most (but not all) guests live within an hour or two of the venue.

Am undecided on whether to do a formal renewal of vows. On the one hand it would give more of a sense of occasion to the day; on the other, I'm aware they can be seen by some as maybe a bit cheesy and self-congratulatory (am not saying they are at all!). I'm not particularly sold on renewing vows for its own sake though - another idea might be a couple of nice speeches to kick off proceedings instead?

We'd specify absolutely no presents, btw, and welcome / cater to the children in the family.

AIBU to wonder whether MNers would a) come and b) approve if invited by close friends or family to something like this...? Or would people be inwardly cringing into their scones and ruing lack of evening booze-up afterwards...?

Mumsnet feedback very welcome - thank you!!

I would come, sounds lovely.

If you were my friends I wouldn't have an issue with coming. It's the same as your friends children's party, christening , engagement party or any event really. It's not significant to you but it means alot to people we care about.

I would rather do something low key though. Maybe not a formal affair as people might feel the pressure of gifts, accommodation and all that comes with a wedding. Something more casual.

I’d be happy to attend but I wouldnt normally expect to see something like this til you get to 50th or 60th but hey, I guess this way you get it done early ;)

It sounds nice OP......... I would not do the renewal, but that's because I don't personally feel the need for them.

Good luck.

"Zombie"

Love, she sees apart from me
Possessed behind the eyes
Apart from the frightening,
The moaning, the biting
He seemed to be a nice guy

And I know what she thinks when she looks at me,
When she looks with such despair
You're not the only one around here who needs a bit of fresh air

[Chorus:]
Cause I'm a sad sad post teen
Could have been a love machine
No dream, come clean
Walking like a zombie, like a zombie
And I'm a coal train, fast lane
Caught up in the dirty rain
No pain, no gain
Walking like a zombie, like a zombie

Well, this old place here, man it's falling apart
She's on the road as she goes, but she won't get far
I'm on a show to parole to the toad in the hole
I gotta grow some roots, I gotta prop up the bar

I got bloodshot eyes, and there's blood in my teeth
I got a ripped up jacket and a friend who's a thief
Well I'm a frothin' at the mouth, tryna pull it out
But the fire inside keeps burning, burning out

[Chorus]

Hold your own in the situation, don't be afraid to be a friend.
Cause I won't hurt you, girl or leave you a loose end
You make me alive enough to love again

Zombie thread....

Count me in !!!
Sounds lush !
Each to their own and why celebrate ?! Agree vow renewals bit sickly but cancel out sicky feeling with copious amounts of cutting the rug and hiccups from prosecco !
Have fun & enjoy 🥂💃🏻

I sounds like a lovely party... the sort of thing we did for our 25th (definitely no vow renewal though....as I can’t see any expiry date other than “till deat do us part”). Might be a bit much for ten years.....

A zombie thread but hey ho.

No, I wouldn't come. I don't think wedding anniversaries are interesting to anyone except the couple involved. I doubt if our adult DC even know when ours is.

Our wedding didn't include vows, but if it did, I'd consider them done on the day without a need to renew them at any point in the future.

YABU to say 'NAICE.'

Yeah I KNOW it's a ZT. (Zombie thread,.........)

I think its a great idea, any excuse for a party and 10 years is still a celebration. If you want to do it go for it regardless of what other people say.

Weird to me to, 25 or 59 years anniversary yes but not for just 10,

I'd not go to a renewal of vows, to me they indicate that the original vows have been broken i.e. Usually one party has cheated.

Op, did you have your party? FWIW, I would have attended if you’d invited me!

I always think renewal of vows is for people who have broken them too so wouldn't bother about that.

The title of your thread is misleading OP, or is it just me?

I think close friends and family would come. 10 years isn't a massive achievement and more of a personal milestone. If it was 25+ more people would make an effort I think. I wouldn't renew vows ever as it suggests infidelity had occurred. Vows are for life.

I don't do anniversaries and vow renewals, I don't really understand what it is celebrating... not breaking your vows, or breaking them and so doing them again and meaning it this time?!

So no, not my thing.

For a 10th anniversary a romantic city break is the best option. Preferably Venice, Florence or Rome. No worries about what to serve at ‘slap up afternoon tea’ No worries about appearing cheesey. No worries about people travelling. Just the two of you celebrating together. Sounds perfect? Happy Anniversary 💐

I would go and celebrate a Silver, Golden, Ruby wedding anniversary etc.

1-2 hours to a Tin wedding anniversary for a couple of hours in the afternoon to eat sandwiches and not drink cheap fizzy wine because I'm driving? Not so much.

There's a reason its not a precious stone/metal. Its because its only special to the bride/groom. Do something nice together instead.

Four our 10th we spent a night at the Malmaison hotel in Oxford. We had small DC at the time so 24 hrs away while they had fun with Nana was bliss.

For not four!!!

Zombie

But yeah WeAllHaveWings sums it up.
Hope you had a nice holiday somewhere together.

I always hope a zombie thread has popped up because the OP has updated.

I agree with most everyone else, celebrating 10 years is not common, more so for 25 or 50 years or in my Aunt and Uncle's case 70 years - that was a HUGE party.

grrrr Zombie!

I agree with other this is important to you but I wouldn’t attend. Why don’t you use the money to do something lovely together ?

I'd think it was a bit odd, particularly if there were vows being renewed.
Why don't you take the money and have a little break together? 10 years isn't the kind of land mark anniversary that I'd expect an event for.
Probably wouldn't come, sorry!