Is this wanky? Would you come?

[Crossoldwasp]

Hi all,

DH's and my ten-year wedding anniversary is still a little way off yet, but I'm starting to think about putting on a low-key but "naice" event to celebrate with close friends and family (25 - 30 guests), and need to check that I'm not breaking any of the MN rules in relation to wedding-related party planning :)

What I'm thinking is to hire a room at the same venue where we got married (small Tudor hotel) and put on an afternoon tea (largely self-catered) and shitloads of prosecco event for mid-afternoon.

I wasn't thinking to do an evening event after, mainly as budget wouldn't stretch that far - though not sure what guests would make of this...? Most (but not all) guests live within an hour or two of the venue.

Am undecided on whether to do a formal renewal of vows. On the one hand it would give more of a sense of occasion to the day; on the other, I'm aware they can be seen by some as maybe a bit cheesy and self-congratulatory (am not saying they are at all!). I'm not particularly sold on renewing vows for its own sake though - another idea might be a couple of nice speeches to kick off proceedings instead?

We'd specify absolutely no presents, btw, and welcome / cater to the children in the family.

AIBU to wonder whether MNers would a) come and b) approve if invited by close friends or family to something like this...? Or would people be inwardly cringing into their scones and ruing lack of evening booze-up afterwards...?

Mumsnet feedback very welcome - thank you!!

Sounds lovely to me - without the vows bit. IMO friends or family won't worry too much about the reason for the party, they will just want to go and support OP and her DH - and most people like to dress up and have a social event now and again. What's not to like about afternoon tea and prosecco, and a good catch up with loved ones?

Sorry OP - that sounds as though I meant they won't care it's your anniversary, which of course they will. I meant they'll enjoy a party whatever the reason.

PyongyangKipperbang I agree with Crossoldwasp. The marriage bit isn't hard, but the stresses of life can be. Believe me we have been through the mill - nearly lost DD at a few weeks, cancer scares, major operations, health worries. "Sticking it out" is the easy bit. Walking away would have been much, much harder.

Very late to thread but sounds like a lovely excuse for a party. If people don't like the sound of it then they can make their excuses. That will leave the fun people to celebrate with!

Did you say most people live two hours away and you would be serving lots of bubbly? So how are they getting home?
I would be having a lovely weekend with my husband on a 10th anniversary a very private celebration of a date that only matters to two people.
If invited I would be so sorry but prior engagements.....etc etc.

Oh........and renewal of vows is the ultimate in tackyness IMHO.

The Times actually quoted from this thread in an article about MN on Saturday! Did anyone else notice?

Here
Mentioned in the first bit, and a quote from the OP in the rest of the article (not viewable here unless a subscriber. I had the paper).

The National Trust should be more bothered about fox hunting taking place on their lands than the word "wanky" being used next to their adverts.

This is why I took a long break from MN though. Not the language, but the lazy-arse so called journalists who rip anyone off for a story, no matter how upsetting or identifying it might be for the OP of the thread or anyone else quoted from it.

While I'm on the subject, MN posting links to threads all over Facebook and twitter doesn't help either. I know if I'm ever outed, it will be because of that rather than someone recognising me here.

Oh........and renewal of vows is the ultimate in tackyness IMHO

I hate to say it, but I agree with this.
Renewal of vows are tacky and a bit cringey a bit like Fascinators

Another thing is, all your guests will be privately wondering what's going wrong in your marriage, that you felt a need to renew your vows.
They will be too polite to say anything to your face, but they will be wondering.
It's human nature.

Sounds fab. I'd come.

Did you say most people live two hours away and you would be serving lots of bubbly? So how are they getting home?

Isn't this an issue with any party?

What??? Where!?? Am I famous?

Got it :)

Smug

The Times not the Daily Mail, don't choo know...

I have a reputation for foul mouthery in my family, and not to let on that I swore my way into a broadsheet is killing me!

Presumably swearing is unacceptable to these advertisers but they would continue to fund hate by advertising in the Mail, Express and Sun (pardon my language for mentioning these!)?

Personally 10 years isn't very long and I don't like renewals, they seem to insinuate the first vows weren't good enough. But a 10 year dinner and a party without speeches seems nice enough. I wouldn't travel far though.

I would be wondering who they public display of affection was for and who they were trying to convince

I'd go to a do like that for close family, but probably not for friends, unless it was a very easy distance away.
To be frank, the renewal of vows bit would make me cringe, though. I don't understand the need, unless as pps have said, the couple had been through a very rocky patch. But it would still make me cringe.

Getting Did you actively seek out an old thread? Slightly

Seems nice to me

I come to whatever my nearest and dearest think worthy of a celebration, provided it won't cost a bomb, I am not dictated to wear weird stuff and am not forced to do stuff I hate (paintballing and karaoke spring to mind).

Blast, an almost-ZOMBIE.

I hope the OP had a great time. It sounds lovely :)

GETTING. Seriously? Why?

Pretty much a ZOMBIE thread.

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