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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the dull get too many advantages..

331 replies

scaryclown · 12/08/2017 20:46

Just that really, I just feel that sometimes everything feels like it set up to help the dull.. Hang around for ages and you get promoted, don't have any interests or a social life, get a great credit rating, stay in one house for years and all the banks trust you, don't ever stick out, don't ever get hassled etc etc etc. .

OP posts:
Themostannoyingperson · 12/08/2017 21:32

It's not about money. It's about being who you should be.

yetanotherelsa · 12/08/2017 21:32

Maybe OP should just quit her job and go find herself a spiritual home on a beach in India or somewhere else terribly exotic.

The rest of the world can get on with our own little dull but reasonably happy lives without needing to justify it

KurriKurri · 12/08/2017 21:32

The last eight years of my life would make a soap opera seem tame - I imagine if I posted everything that has happened to me people would call me a troll.
When you've been through the very opposite, dull can be a very nice place to be.

Maybe you've just been lucky enough to be able to choose and control your mayhem and get out of it if it gets too much. That way you can boast about being an exciting person and criticise others for their ordinariness, without really experiencing life being frightening and out of control.

It rather reminds me of wealthy people who live on £30 for a week and say 'look it's easy, I'm so brilliant' while having the option to leave. Non stop 'excitement' like non stop poverty can be pretty wearing.

Get on with living your own life instead of wasting time trying to determine how others should live theirs.

Original poster
scaryclown · 12/08/2017 21:34

If I had a choice I'd be in silicon Valley pitching a disruptive job market app with an algorithm that fits the market to jobseekers rather than the other way around, be releasing an album of songs about modern capitalism, and be at Edinburgh seeking shows for new York theatre all dayers that I'd run next to the 24 criminal court in New York

OP posts:
Gorgosparta · 12/08/2017 21:35

So do all that

Vonklump · 12/08/2017 21:35

You have reminded me of something a sibling said to me years ago. I had a Saturday job washing up, she didn't like her similar Saturday job so quit.
"You're so lucky, Vonklump. You like washing up."

Actually no, I dislike it, it's boring and my hands peel. I'd much rather stay in bed then pootle round the shops like you do. But I want the money, so I'll put up with it.

You can choose to be contented with what you have. Call that dull if you wish.

I spent my twenties working abroad. Means I don't have as expensive a car as my peers or as swanky a house. Not sure I'll be on my deathbed mourning the time I spent travelling or the experiences I had.

PacificDogwod · 12/08/2017 21:36

So, what's stopping you, OP?
Go for it!!

Gazelda · 12/08/2017 21:36

It all seems to be about the money to you.

I'm certain you'd consider me a 'dullard'. But I'm happy, content and can hand on heart say I earn my pay.

But you are a false friend, dissatisfied with your lot and have a superiority complex.

Which one of us has the right attitude, do you think?

DuchessofManchester · 12/08/2017 21:36

So come on op what exciting things do you spend your money on?

SabineUndine · 12/08/2017 21:37

So really you're saying you resent people who have the fortitude to keep their noses to the grindstone and reap the rewards? Maybe they deserve those rewards.

steff13 · 12/08/2017 21:37

What's stopping you from doing those things?

Original poster
scaryclown · 12/08/2017 21:38

I am in a town where if you say you've lived in a city, they look at you like you have come alive from the TV. I told someone I'd partied with Kylie, and they were all but calling a CPN

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 12/08/2017 21:40

Ok, so what are you going to do to change things for yourself?
You do not sound like you are particularly enjoying yourself.

HipsterHunter · 12/08/2017 21:40

@scaryclown I actually hear what you're saying in a way

I'm ome of the 'dull' people who doesn't like taking risks in their personal or financial or work life. I'm not an ideas person. I'm not very exciting. I don't like drama in my personal life. I'll always take the safe option. I don't like change.

I've been a home owner since graduating. I've been wth the same company since graduating. I've been with the same partner for neigh on 11 years.

BrainSaysNo · 12/08/2017 21:40

Go fulfill your dream, whats stopping you?

Pallisers · 12/08/2017 21:40

If I had a choice I'd be in silicon Valley pitching a disruptive job market app with an algorithm that fits the market to jobseekers rather than the other way around, be releasing an album of songs about modern capitalism, and be at Edinburgh seeking shows for new York theatre all dayers that I'd run next to the 24 criminal court in New York

You do have a choice. Maybe you can't do those things exactly but you could start at something that might lead you there.

What is really arsey - and self-defeating - is complaining about other people who are content with their lives. If every "dull" person was suddenly rendered as unhappy as you are, it still wouldn't make you any happier.

Also you are unlikely to succeed in any of your ambitions if you are so contemptuous and dismissive of the vast majority of people who will be your clients/audience/customers if you do the app/write the music/do the show thing - e.g. do you honestly think only hip and cool new yorkers would want you to book shows?

You need to grow up a bit and take control of your life.

PantPlot · 12/08/2017 21:41

But that's the past- why aren't you still partying with Kylie? (Or are you?)

yetanotherelsa · 12/08/2017 21:41

OP I think you need to get out of wherever you currently are. What is stopping you?

PacificDogwod · 12/08/2017 21:41

Do you think you 'peaked' to soon? Or rather your life did?
Lots of exciting things happening when you were in your teens/early 20s and now that life/obligations etc is catching up with you, you cannot keep that trajectory going and feel, I dunno? cheated??

BMW6 · 12/08/2017 21:41

So tell us - why aren't you doing those things that would make you feel fulfilled?
Why are you looking to deflect from your own shortcomings

IAmNotAWitch · 12/08/2017 21:42

Because us 'dullards' are useful.

The exciting ones who can't manage to do the same thing two days in a row? Flaky and unreliable.

You need a couple of exciting types to stir things up every now and again. But the warehouse staff and the excel monkeys who actually know how shit works and who can be relied on to be there tomorrow are more valuable to anyone running a business.

If you can't figure that out then it isn't your friend who is dull.

MeanAger · 12/08/2017 21:43

So why haven't you done those things you think you aren't capable of doing? Is if because you couldn't actually do them and are feeling resentful of that so are transferring into other people? You know when you point the finger there are three pointing back at you.

blacksax · 12/08/2017 21:43

The dullards are the sensible, trustworthy, reliable ones who work hard and get the job done. Without them, the wheels of industry would stop turning.

There's no point in having a load of excitable shiny look-at-me front-of-house/sales staff if you can't deliver the promises.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 12/08/2017 21:43

Could you move towns so you're somewhere a bit more exciting?

HolyShmoly · 12/08/2017 21:43

I'm pretty sure you can make apps from anywhere. You'll have to do the dull coding work though.