To think that the dull get too many advantages..

[scaryclown]

Just that really, I just feel that sometimes everything feels like it set up to help the dull.. Hang around for ages and you get promoted, don't have any interests or a social life, get a great credit rating, stay in one house for years and all the banks trust you, don't ever stick out, don't ever get hassled etc etc etc. .

Yes but advance ordering on Amazon of books you want to capture fleeting glimpses of moods beyond consciousness is impractical

😂😂😂😂

Get over yourself!

OP, what I don't get is why you don't leave Dullsville and do all the wacky things you want to do.

Or are you just too dull/afraid to do it?

More seriously though, you might benefit from talking to someone in RL, who might be on your wavelength, if that's possible, or a counsellor/life coach who could be helpful.

OP watch this.

I am so dull I'm place marking.

There is nothing more dull than a discontented dull person. Really, OP, if you've got yourself a dull job and are doing nothing interesting with your life, then either do something to change that or accept the fact that you are as dull as ditchwater and don't have the oomph to get out of your ditch. If other people are happier with their lives than you, then good on them - discontent is only of any use if it makes you do something positive to resolve it, rather than whinge about what others do or don't do.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Oscar scaryclown Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

How's the head this morning?

I've tried living an exciting life this week. Travelling. Sleeping on sofas and air beds. Drinking in the day. Doing art. Playing inn the beach in the surf. Gong to the theatre.

And do you know what? It hurt. I ache all over. Feel a little sick. And have bugger all to show for it. My art when sober (and comfortable enough to lift my arms) is way better than the shite I've turned out this week.

I'm looking forward to getting home next week to my dull house. Dull expensive bed. Dull kitchen where I can cook properly. Even my dull job where I spend most of my time helping people continue to enjoy their own dull lives.

Being poor is soul sapping. I'm glad I don't have to go back to being poor ever again. The true genuine worry over spending a pound, because I just didn't have it. This week has been a reminder of how much I prefer and love my dull life.

But if you are using food banks you do not get to go and buy will self books. Just no. Frankly for your own mental health I'd recommend not reading will self. But if you really want to, go to the library and borrow one.

Fulfil your hierarchy of needs better and you may find life a little more tolerable

OP Two scenarios

OMG I was so lucky I got a job in a bank just admin. They wanted me in at 8am and it was so exciting just listening and watching. Sometimes I didn't leave until 8pm and was always in bed by 10.

Or

I got this job and they expected me to be smart and it was 8am every day and the floor was noisy and nearly all men. It was too noisy and they thought I'd get their lunch and stay late. I wanted a life so I got a 9-5 job in insurance. After about 18 months I did some travelling to have a life
and when I got back property prices had gone up too much for me to buy and I'm stuck in a boring 9-5 job. Then I met a really exciting bloke who did gigs but he's also a cable layer for Virgin and we've just bought a flat in Basildon which isn't very nice.

Which one op got the stint in NY, the house in London, and went on to do non boring things? Which one got loads of criticism for being boring and which one ended up the the duller life?

Loving the Kylie love on here

I don't know, but what an unimaginative scenario!

I disagree. Risk takers often do well in life. I have friends who have taken risks and done well e.g.

Buying a house when they could only just afford it (then prices went up)
Leaving a good job to do a masters in another field - then going on to have a fantastic new career.
Moving across the country as a single parent to live with partner met online - now been together 7 years with child of their own.

All of these take some courage. Of course there's some luck involved with house prices but lots of my friends, including me, did not want the risk and commitment and.

There are too many aspects to this to answer in one post.

Of course risk takers can do well, they can also be incredibly dull and self-centred because it's all about the thrill and the 'reward', be than financial or in terms of dopamine high. In the right job a risk taker can do great things, in the wrong one they could be a disaster (nobody wants a thrill-seeking air traffic controller, do they?)

One persons interesting, creative lifestyle is another ones disruptive chaos.

The trick is to self-select in to the life or role in life that suits ones traits and personality, not the destructive ones, but the ones that make us happy.
Some people need stability and contentment to be happy, others need constant stimulation

scaryclown, I hope you get there in the end and that some of this thread has been helpful to you.

"God helps those who help themselves."

Not a religious bone in my body, but I agree with that statement.
Get-up-and-goers aka people with initiative will go places.
Nothing to do with dullness or lack of creativity.
Moaners and entitled twats are less likely to succeed (although, gallingly sometimes they do).

•You are simply jealous. Thats it. You dont have the means to do the things you want. She does, bit doesnt do it. Probably because she doesnt want to do those things. Which isnt wrong.*

This.

Ooh, that is so much more succinct than my dribble

I think it's sad that you're not imaginative enough to do exciting free things.

• Work hard and save.
• Make good life choices.
• Have long term goals and plans.

It may be dull but it makes life a lot more comfortable as you get older.

Wear sunscreen

I only wear sunscreen between 11 and 3

I'm living on the edge

I started reading this thread but found it too dull so stopped at the first page.

We are dull risk takers- I don't know where I fit in anymore , I did think before I was just me living my life, but now...

I need to pop to the shop (dull), but I am doing it in a car where the check engine light came on yesterday (living live ion the edge).
Hopefully I make it back home, and don't get stuck on the side of the road.

OMG, OP! Yeah!

Reliability is soooooo overrated!

I mean, getting paid to come to work is like, soooo boooring.

Fancy having to do that day in, day out just to keep a roof over your head and the bills paid?

What we need is money for doing nothing!!

Oh wait. That's called Jobseekers' Allowance.

Yea quite right these selfish responsible consistent bores should definitely have to suffer so unreliable flaky yoonique people like you can thrive.
Guess what those boring people don't want to go to those jobs every day or scrimp and save either. They do it because you get nothing without putting something in.
I hope you're very young I would hate to think an adult still hasn't grown up enough to realise life owes you nothing.

I don't know what it is you're suffering from, op, but you certainly are suffering.

It's gnawing away at you, isn't it, the thought that these other people who are getting all the (undeserved) breaks in life are too dull and clueless to make the most of their good fortune? You would do it so much more imaginatively/creatively/inventively, just.....better.

You have so much more insight than these stupid, dull people you're surrounded by. If only they could see the truth of their dull, predictable existence..........If you had all their advantages, you would soar higher than anyone could ever imagine, while they just drag themselves around dullsville, barely living at all.

I'm not trying to diagnose anything specific (I'm not, honestly ), but these feelings can be indicative of a troubled mind, and you might benefit from sharing them with a health professional/counsellor/therapist, instead of letting them eat away at you. Just a thought.

I hope you manage to get some sort of resolution, op. I can't help feeling that your tendency to dwell on how other people are living their lives is consuming you to the extent that you are not able to live your own.

Sadly, while taking the "fun lifestyle choices" rather than the "dull ones" will mean in your late teens/early 20s, you'll have a more interesting and fun lifestyle, by 30s (particularly if you want/have dcs), those who spent those years with a more plodding "dull" choices will have a better lifestyle and more options available to them. By 55/60 the differences become even more stalk.

Op, you picked a different path to your dull friend, you went for "jam today" where as she went for "jam tomorrow" - and now it's tomorrow so she's financially better off.

Life is about choices, pick path A and you'll get to B, pick path X and you'll end up in Y, but you can't pick path A because it looks more interesting and still expect to end up in Y. You've focussed on the journey you want to do, your friend has focussed on the place she wants to get to. Your path has been more fun to travel, her end destination is more desirable... you still both picked.

However you do have time to decide you'd rather focus on the destination than the journey now, go down the "dull" route for a few years. Focus on where you want to be, work out how you could get there and just suck up dullness and hard work for a while.