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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to not want my child’s (non serious) accident on TV?

227 replies

CarolinePenvenen · 12/08/2017 17:17

Some years ago we were at a family event and my then 4yo got a whack in the face from another kid during one of the party games. It was a hard whack, she had a black eye and was in a lot of pain and very distressed but it wasn’t serious.

At the time I was told that a (young) family member, let’s call him Raymond, had videoed this incident and wanted to send it to a well known tv show that shows all these mishaps for a laugh, the intention being to make a bit of money out of it. I said no. Was still cross/a bit upset about the incident and generally cheesed off about the idea. They got a bit pissed off about it but no more was said.

Now my dd is 9 and it’s come up again. Basically Raymond sent it in anyway and now they’ve said they want to use it. He’s now also offered dd half the money. I’m still not keen but have left it up to dd to decide and she has said absolutely no, she’s not bothered about the money (and she’s usually very fond of money!). She’s a worrier and a sensitive soul and hates the idea of being laughed at. Family now think we’re massive spoilsports and taking offence where there is none. I should add that I detest this show with a passion although dd has been known to watch it!

If you’ve got to the end of that, AIBU?

OP posts:
SabineUndine · 12/08/2017 20:25

I'd give the production company a call, just in case. Raymond sounds like someone who doesn't like being refused.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 12/08/2017 20:26

I'm assuming Raymond has lied and said he has consent for everyone involved.

Op - I had a quick look at their website. They say they pay after the first transmission of the clip. So if payment is being discussed it's fair to assume it might have already gone quite far.

I still think a call and email to the production company to confirm this clip isn't being used would be a good idea

user1497557435 · 12/08/2017 20:27

I'd deck Raymond, film it & ask how much he liked it!

ADayGivingMeHope · 12/08/2017 20:28

Even in spite of this 'reassurance' I would email the company to absolutely make sure they are aware they do not have permission!

ChocolateDoll · 12/08/2017 20:33

Send this thread to Raymond. Make him feel popular.

BillBrysonsBeard · 12/08/2017 20:34

I think the money could come in handy for her to get something she wants, and like others have said no-one will know it's her. BUT it's her choice and that needs to be respected.

PoorYorick · 12/08/2017 20:38

Raymond's father might honestly believe that to be the case but I don't trust Raymond to have been honest with him. Contact the programme directly just to be sure, let Raymond know you've done it and remind him that being sued will cost him more than £250. Who the hell keeps a video like that for years anyway after the subject has made their unhappiness clear?

Also have my first "show him this thread", to prove that no, most people don't agree with him.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 12/08/2017 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 12/08/2017 21:44

Sorry. Wrong thread. I was laughing at user saying they'd film decking Raymond and send it in.

ItsNachoCheese · 12/08/2017 21:46

I want to smack raymond the knobjockey with a pinata stick really hard in the face to see how he likes it then say oh its going on ybf! Wanker! Angry

Enidblyton1 · 12/08/2017 21:57

YANBU, if your DD doesn't want it shown then it shouldn't be.

But come on, even if any of her friends are watching, nobody is going to recognise her aged 4 in a 10 second clip. You and she are worrying over nothing.

CarolinePenvenen · 12/08/2017 22:09

That’s what I wondered Enid, as everyone else involved seemed to think it was all a bit of fun, was years ago and she no longer carries the scars! But she was very upset at the idea and as she’s currently in my bed for the second night terrified she’s having a heart attack (unrelated, she worries over everything) I put my foot down, which I would have done anyway.

OP posts:
mylittlephoney · 12/08/2017 23:30

Please write to itv and tell them that if this clip gets shown then u will sue them. Uncatagorically you do not give your permission for your child to b on this exploitative car crash programme. I hate this programme. They say noone gets hurt. Bullshit. Let the wankers who film themselves doing idiotic stuff be on it. Not innocent children's accidents. The fact this is still on tv shows that's tv is bullshit. I blame the Americans who brought it over.

frieda909 · 12/08/2017 23:52

I totally agree. Anything that leaves a 4 year old child with a black eye is just categorically not funny. I don't care if it's a year, five years or 20 years later. It's cruel, and all for the sake of £250? Awful.

MummytoCSJH · 12/08/2017 23:58

No you are not. If DD doesn't want it aired you are well within your rights to contact the show and tell them you do not want it aired and they do not have your consent.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 13/08/2017 02:20

That shoe is cruel and your relatives sound like pricks.

I'll be honest, I've seen instances where someone has fallen or something stupid has happened to them and the circumstances or the way it happened can be seen as funny and I've laughed as a first instinct.

But not a child.
Not a child who is in pain.
And you def don't push the poor child to this level of upset cos you want to make a few quid.

Kailoer · 13/08/2017 11:26

I can't believe your family think it's ok to pressure a child like this, especially one who's already of an anxious temperament

What part don't they get - she has the right to say yes or no

She's made her choice

You need to stick up for her, which you are doing. They are being unbelievably selfish and setting off precedents (no doesn't mean no)

notevernotnevernotnohow · 13/08/2017 11:35

Same as me taking a pic of your kids and sharing it without your permission

Yes, exactly the same, in that there is nothing you can do about that either!

The owner of the footage decides what happens to it, the person recorded has no legal right to it. The policies of the company may be different, or they may not.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 13/08/2017 11:36

What part don't they get - she has the right to say yes or no

She doesn't though.

Marmalady75 · 13/08/2017 12:06

Raymond and his dad may have said they won't go ahead, but as pps have suggested you should go ahead and make contact with ybf. You have got to cover your back with twats like Raymond.

emmyrose2000 · 13/08/2017 12:09

I absolutely loathe these types of shows. You and DD are 100% right in not wanting to be part of it.

What will you do though, if somehow the clip does end up on the TV?

hatsoncats · 13/08/2017 12:50

Don't take their word for it.
Check and double check.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 13/08/2017 13:01

Nobody Loves Raymond.

profbadbride · 13/08/2017 13:10

I don't think that's right, notever. As soon as someone uses personal data (which includes photos and videos) for "non-domestic" purposes, they are legally obliged to follow the rules set out in the Data Protection Act. Both the OP's relative and the TV company are bound by it. This overview from the ICO explains it (about social media, but same rules apply) ico.org.uk/media/for-organisations/documents/1600/social-networking-and-online-forums-dpa-guidance.pdf

I'm not a lawyer, but it may be that other laws may also apply.

OP: call the TV company and make sure they know that they do not have your consent to use the clip

DJBaggySmalls · 13/08/2017 13:19

notevernotnevernotnohow
Thats not correct; you need a models release form to publish a photo.

''A model release is needed whenever you take an image of a recognizable person or identifiable feature...It doesn’t only apply to professional models, but to anyone who is being photographed.''
www.slrlounge.com/model-release-form/