WIBU to ask our nanny not to smoke before work?

[RelaxMax]

We have a new nanny - going ok so far, but she obviously smokes just before starting work, and on her lunch break. She very obviously smells of smoke when she comes in, and there's a fainter smell all day.

I hate the smell of smoke but more importantly I've read that third hand smoke on clothing can be harmful to young children and we have a 6 month old.

So I'm not sure what to do - as an employer can I just tell her not to smoke on her working days because of the smell and risk? Or is it none of my business what she does outside working hours?

So this means you are smoking while wearing the coat, then?

OP - get over yourself.

I think there are some 'precious' views on this. Reeks all day is dramatisation. I smoke. I can smell smoke on me. I do things to rid me of the smell. I have a 3yr old and a baby (stopped during pregnancy before anyone jumps on that bandwagon)

I have a coat I wear for smoking, never smoke in front of the kids and go stand at the bottom of the garden. When I come in I can smell it on me - I remove the coat, wash my hands and spray breath spray. My house does not smell of smoke at all.

If it's paid breaks your reasonable to ask her not to smoke although this will be hard for a smoker. Unpaid then to be fair it's up to her how she spends her free time.

A good nanny is worth their weight in gold so think hard

Exhaust fumes are more harmful than some stale smoke on someone's clothing.

She cared enough not to stink of smoke during the interview, but now doesn't care enough not to stink around you and your child? That sounds just a tad deceitful.Even if she agrees not to smoke around your child, she probably will. In my experience, few smokers can resist the temptation/compulsion to have a quick fag when they think no-one is watching. Regardless of the 3rd hand smoke issue, it's just not nice for your baby to have to smell it and your house to stink.

If I were you, she would would have to go.

"I would raise it with her, as in "I didn't realise you were a smoker.. it's not something I want the children exposed to - can you make sure you never smoke at work as it's an issue for us""

Yes you can give her a lemony little speech like that...and she can still smoke on her way to work and during any unpaid breaks. Point being...as her employer, you can't tell her how to spend her free time.

To those saying "you can't tell her what to do in her own time" - you're absolutely right, but you CAN tell her that smelling of smoke on the job is unacceptable, and since it's basically impossible not to smell of smoke if you smoke on the way / on your breaks etc, it winds up being the same thing.

Just like an employer can't tell you not to drink on the way to work, but absolutely can fire you for turning up drunk.

I am a Nanny and have never smoked because my job doesn't go with smoking!

I believe your in your rights to say during the working day she is not to smoke.

Plus - how does she get breaks?! Rather jealous - my breaks have consisted of tidying up the house, washing, cleaning the kitchen, putting toys away, sorting children's bedrooms whilst the children are asleep and then if I'm lucky get 10 minutes to sit down before I have to wake them up!

Probation is there for you and them to get a feel for if this job will work out, or not. Use that time to evaluate all aspects - their performance, their time keeping, their ability to minimise the smell of smoke.

Say something about it now, so you give them opportunity to improve. They may be an excellent nanny and they may be able to reduce the smoke smell to something you consider is acceptable.

Just be honest and tell her you don't want her smelling of smoke.

You absolutely cannot give her orders about what to do when she isn't actually working for you. You are not her owner.

If you are this precious about smoking, it would be ok, next time, to specify a non-smoker. And, if you are still in the trial period with her, OK to say that it's not working out and explain that you are up your own arse worried about smoking.

I agree it's an interesting point that she made sure she didn't smell at interview but has relaxed that now.

Yes, as for a nanny worth their weight in gold - I couldn't agree more - and it WOULDN'T be one who turned up for interview pristine, didn't mention that they smoked and then smelled of it as soon as they started work

I'm curious - all the posters who think the OP is being ridiculous, are you all smokers?
As a non-smoker, I absolutely hate sitting next to smokers on the train. They obviously won't be smoking but it's clear from the stink that they are smokers.
It's not a class thing, it's a smell thing

OP, if you don't like her smoking, get a new nanny as I honestly doubt that talking to her will make her change her ways. She might be better for a while (like she was at her interview) but, as most smokers will undoubtedly tell you, it's an addiction so she'll probably go back to her current behaviour.

As you can see from some of the responses above, smokers will always think that we non-smokers are being unreasonable when we say they stink of smoke. Just because they can't smell it doesn't mean we can't.

I don't smoke and don't much like the smell of smoke, I'm sure there are people who don't like the smell of my perfume or the food I eat or whatever, but I wouldn't expect my boss to make demands about that based on her own preferences. There's no evidence that smoke odour on clothes harms anyone, and if your nanny doesn't smoke in the company of your kids, I can't really see that it's a massive deal.

pictish this mad me laugh out loud at work!

Neutrogena - but it's common...and one does not employ a nanny that is common.

It would be an absolute no from me. People who smoke smell, and they always smell. Many of the chemicals in cigarette smoke are known carcinogens, and it is not precious at all to not want those spread around your home.

YANBU.

I don't smoke. I have friends who do and I can only smell it if they have literally just had a cig. They certainly don't "reek" all day. I step out into the street and am choking on diesel fumes from the tanks the middle class mums round here drive to keep their kids safe in..that bothers me way more.

Strong perfume can also be an issue when caring for babies. It would not be unreasonable to ask an employee to reduce the amount of perfume they wore to work. They are working in a domestic home so as the home owner your rules apply - you are their boss and can tell them what to do during their working time and about their appearance.

I don't understand the mentality of people who smoke. You know it's bad for you, that it can kill you and certainly shorten your life span, so why do it!?? It makes no sense to me and I wouldn't have someone stinking of smoke looking after my months old baby. It turns my stomach.
I think what you'll find here is the argument for keeping her from people who do smoke and those saying get rid from people who don't. I don't know any non-smoker who says they like the stink of cigarette smoke.

Advertise for a new nanny specifying non-smoker. Smokers can't comprehend how the smell lingers and how it affects non-smokers. Makes me want to puke!

Smelling smoke off other people says my lungs off badly. Especially bloody nurses on the respiratory ward.

i've had this situation and decided to live with it because i don't give the 3rd hand smoke stuff much credence, and i did believe that she wasn't doing it in front of the baby and only in breaks. i agree with pictish, smokers can end up feeling victimized, unless she's going to give up smoking altogether to keep the job, it's a deal breaker for you so take steps to give her good notice and move on.

My friend's a nanny and she was tormented by an employer giving her this sort of you smell of smoke chat, and whatever she did kept saying she smelled of smoke.

yy nannynick, no perfume is preferable for babies - i'd expect someone working regularly with babies to know that really.

Awkward, especially if you're happy with her otherwise, but YANBU. I wouldn't be comfortable with someone smelling of smoke around my kids. You can smell it on kids who are around smokers, and you can't be sure she won't be taking multiple fag breaks when you're not around.

You could always approach her apologetically, explain you didn't think to ask if she smoked and that you wouldn't have taken her on if you had known, to see what her reaction is and what she's prepared to do about it?