WIBU to ask our nanny not to smoke before work?

[RelaxMax]

We have a new nanny - going ok so far, but she obviously smokes just before starting work, and on her lunch break. She very obviously smells of smoke when she comes in, and there's a fainter smell all day.

I hate the smell of smoke but more importantly I've read that third hand smoke on clothing can be harmful to young children and we have a 6 month old.

So I'm not sure what to do - as an employer can I just tell her not to smoke on her working days because of the smell and risk? Or is it none of my business what she does outside working hours?

I would of asked before u hired her ... and I understand that some people dont like the smell but I do not think that her smelling of smoke will harm ur children. ..? I'm not sure it's fair to ask her not before or after work .

I wouldn't hire a nanny who smoked... the smell - poor baby -

however as others have said you cannot tell her what to do in her own time ... can she use mouthwash, and attempt to get rid of most of the ashtray smell when she arrives? Change her clothing...

I don't think smokers are actually aware of how bad they smell to be honest so she probably doesn't realise

This "She was very defensive - claimed she didn't smell at all of smoke, her boyfriend would tell her if she did so she was very sure. I pointed out that we only know she smokes because of the smell so obviously there is a smell, and said that smokers often don't realise how strong the smell is for non-smokers."

I think people don't tend to tell smokers they smell - we assume they know they don't her shocked reaction sums it up really

The baby smelled of smoke after she held him? Really?
Unless she was smoking while holding him i don't see how that could happen.
Happens all the time. If I give a list to a smoker my car stinks afterwards even if they didn't smoke inside the car.

1. Smoking is cool as fuck
2. It helps you dodge laser traps
3. To piss you off

HTH

She's highly unlikely to ask us for a reference anyway. But if I'm asked why she left the role, I'm going to tell the truth. Her smoking is directly relevant to her suitability - as most of the people on this thread agree. So thanks for your input, but it doesnt change my mind.

In NICU intensive care, many of the nurses smoke. Dorsn't prevent them from doing their jobs. Just for some perspective.

pen you're untitled to your opinion but the vast majority of posters here don't agree with you. They would not employ a nanny who is a smoker.

sofa "In NICU .. many if the nurses smoke"
Could you link to evidence of that because I don't believe it

Spent a lot of time in them.

The idea that the majority of people would do anything to compromise this woman's ability to make a living when she hasn't done anything wrong sickens me, tbh.

It would be more worrying if this nanny used the OP as a reference (which she won't, obvs) and she refused to comment the reason for her departure. Most anyone would fill in the gaps with their imagination, undoubtably worse than smoking.

If most people wouldn't employ a smoking nanny, she's narrowed the field of her own accord.

Pengggwn I don't think I'm a spiteful person, and I don't think anybody reasonable could get that impression from this thread but tbh the opinion of an Internet stranger just isn't important enough to me to worry about. So feel free to think that, but I won't be discussing this further with you.

@Pengggwn, it's the agency who will want to know why it didn't work out, and the OP will apologise and admit she didn't specify that she didn't want a smoker. Presumably the agency asked the nanny whether or not she smoked and she didn't lie. She did say that the issue came up before after all. Not saying why would be worse, the agency would fill in the blanks and might decide something bad happened, which definitely didn't.

Not complicated really.

By "an honest reference" yes I do mean I'll say the smoking was an issue for us, I wouldn't want another family to be put in the same position.

Awww, diddums. You mean the position you put yourself in? Yeah, that would be unfortunate...

But I'd imagine 99% of people would have the intelligence to bring this up at the point of interview.

My midwife told my exH to try to give up smoking when we had our dd because she said that for at least an hour after smoking it can still be harmful to a child (or adult) when you have close contact with them. Not sure how true this was, but exh stopped smoking.

The baby smelled of smoke after she held him? Really? Unless she was smoking while holding him i don't see how that could happen.

Yes that absolutely can happen. Either you're a smoker yourself and in cloud cuckoo land or a smoker has never held your baby.

Unless the smoker enters the house, changes their clothes and brushes their teeth, the smoke absolutely will get on the baby and the baby will indeed stink of smoke. It clings.

We learned this very quickly when we had our first baby because DH is a smoker.

In NICU intensive care, many of the nurses smoke. Dorsn't prevent them from doing their jobs. Just for some perspective

Not in my local NICU and I know because I've worked there.

Outside the Marernity ward at our loca Hopistal the path is very close to the surrounding pavement (not inside the hospital grounds) you always see new mums, heavily pregnant mums and hospital staff (obviously I don't know if they are midwives etc but there are a lot of them) standing outside having a cigarette.

I think you handled that about as well as possible under the circumstances OP. Reading down the thread the thing that occurred to me before you said it was that your baby would inevitably end up smelling of smoke, and that would be an absolute deal breaker for me. When my DC have spent time with my DM they come back smelling of her perfume from when she's cuddled them, and she uses a discreet perfume in quite moderate quantities.

The hair is the fatal problem - the only way this could have worked would be if she did what a PP did and had a morning fag before her shower and hair wash.

Mind you I once gave a nanny a job offer on condition that she stopped wearing Opium on work days - my house, my rules.

If there is a potential risk to your child just explain that that is why you are asking her. It's not letting me she doesn't have other less disgusting options for her daily dose of nicotine.

Outside the Marernity ward at our loca Hopistal the path is very close to the surrounding pavement (not inside the hospital grounds) you always see new mums, heavily pregnant mums and hospital staff (obviously I don't know if they are midwives etc but there are a lot of them) standing outside having a cigarette.

I don't understand how this has worked its way into the discussion. People smoke. Doesn't mean I'd want to have a nanny that smoked.