WIBU to ask our nanny not to smoke before work?

[RelaxMax]

We have a new nanny - going ok so far, but she obviously smokes just before starting work, and on her lunch break. She very obviously smells of smoke when she comes in, and there's a fainter smell all day.

I hate the smell of smoke but more importantly I've read that third hand smoke on clothing can be harmful to young children and we have a 6 month old.

So I'm not sure what to do - as an employer can I just tell her not to smoke on her working days because of the smell and risk? Or is it none of my business what she does outside working hours?

Wonder what everyone would make of my TA who vapes in the classroom DURING class?

I see, squoosh

Just remembering my infant school days in the mid 70s.
Many teachers smoked in the staff room.. I remember going to see a teacher in the staff room and it was like fog as they were all puffing away. One of my teachers smoked like a chimney at her desk in the classroom during playtime!

Anyway, I think there is a lot of hysteria about second hand smoke. I don't think you should dictate what she does in her own time and I can't believe some of the suggestions about her changing her clothes and putting them in a plastic bag!

The only way you can get round this if you can't stand the smell is to let her go.

Don't make a drama if she is a good nanny

Just politely tell her that you can smell the fags so can she do something to un fag herself before work ??

Maybe some of us are hyper sensitive to the smell. I get hayfever like symptoms if someone is smoking near me, and find tbe homes of smokers stink as do the people, even ones who say they only ever smoke outside. Had plenty of ebay purchases show up absutely stinking, and thats stuff lime dvds not clothes.

"Who cares if she does smoke outside with your kid?
So many people smoked around us while we were young and it hasn't harmed us has it?"

I have asthma as a direct result of being around someone who smoked and a relative died from passive smoking. So your comment is very silly. Some people may live with a smoker and be okay but I'd argue they got lucky.

When I worked as a nanny pretty much every job requirement list said no smoking.

I'd get rid.

Smoking has become divided along class lines, demographically speaking.

That NHS link does not say that third hand smoke has not been proven, rather it describes the current state of the research (well, current when it was posted seven years ago) and describes what is still unknown, which is dramatically different than saying there's no risk to third hand smoke.

In environmental health, you need to consider the precautionary principle- instead of waiting until something has been proven to be bad, precautions should be taken to limit exposure in the absence of overwhelming evidence proving something is safe.

And, just like all current recommendations with respect to child safety, you can't rely on spurious claims that "we did it when we were kids and we're all fine." People say that about everything from car seats to sleeping and those comments are anecdotal and not based on actual population-level evidence.

I wouldn't presume to control what she does outside of working hours. If this was an issue for me I would have checked before employing her.

I wouldn't be impressed by a TA vaping in front of the kids in lessons.

WhatEaglesWear

Very surprised at that. I would complain (I vape myself but wouldn't do it in a room full of kids I'm meant to be looking after nor in a professional setting at work)

I don't think everyone who smokes necessarily stinks of it all day, but they do stink of it for up to half an hour after having a cigarette. They won't admit this, but it lingers in their hair and on their clothes for a while. (And on their breath VOM. )

So if you are a smoker who smokes one an hour (or more!) like some smokers do, then I'm sorry to tell you this, but you will stink of smoke all the time.

I was gobsmacked to hear someone announce that smoking doesn't harm kids if you smoke around them, because it apparently didn't harm them when their parents smoked around THEM... It's a well documented fact and has been PROVEN time and time again, that smoking around your children, AND smoking when you're pregnant will cause harm and health problems in your children. And it does. They are much more likely than children of NON smoking parents to suffer......

Glue ear,
Asthma,
Bronchitis,
Other respiratory problems,
And middle ear disease,

And they are more prone to infections and illnesses. They also have a greater risk of getting lung cancer as their lungs are still developing.

They are also more likely to have learning problems, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and they have a higher chance of sudden infant death syndrome. It's breathtakingly ignorant and plain dangerous to suggest 'kids will be fine' if you smoke around them.

Do you know many adoption agencies won't allow you to adopt a child if you smoke?! Why do you think that is? It's not because they don't like people who smoke; it's because it's a foul, unpleasant, habit, that affects other people, and will DEFINITELY affect children if you are stupid and ignorant enough to smoke around them.

For your reading pleasure. READ, and educate yourselves FFS!

www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/tobacco/Pages/Dangers-of-Secondhand-Smoke.aspx

@Chardonnaysprettysister

Sometimes I can tell someone is pregnant just by the smell.

Just when I thought I'd heard everything on mumsnet!

Is she good?
Do you like her?
Do the kids like her?
And barring the smoking issue, do you trust her with looking after your children?

If the answer is yes to the above, you can get through this.

Just get her in a bit earlier one day, sit her down with a coffee and a biscuit and go straight for it:

"Listen, you're doing great stuff here but I know that you smoke because I can smell it on you. I'm not telling you what you can and can't do it your own time but could you maybe not have a fag just before you start shift and I'd be grateful if you could hold off until your shift ends...so I'm afraid that means no smoke breaks in the day - is that cool?"

If she hits back, sack her. There's basically no excuse.

As she's still in her probationary period ask her to leave.

But do her a favour and tell her exactly why. It might be the kick up the arse she needs to stop or at the very least she may think twice about having a fag just before she gets to her next employer. If she gets another nanny job

To be perfectly honest I'd worry about a nanny who thinks it's ok to turn up to work, smelling of fags. I wouldn't want her looking Ashlee my baby.

*after

When I was a nursery nurse, we wasn't allowed to smoke in our uniforms and had to change tops if the smokers went out. We also wasn't allowed to smoke by the nursery and had to leave the grounds and away.

Is she smoking when she is out and about with your baby or on the car with them?

I hate the smell of smoke, it's disgusting and I wouldn't want my child smelling of it. My Mom is a heavy smoker and she absolutely stinks in public. Cards and presents that come from her smell so have to throw the cards out.

We've told her but, "I love smoking too much"

And smokers can't smell the smoke on themselves either.

I would sack her. I wouldn't want a smoker around my kids all day. I especially wouldn't want to PAY for the privilege. Sack her.

So what you going to do op?

Wonder what everyone would make of my TA who vapes in the classroom DURING class?

I'd do everything in my power to get her fired - glamorizing smoking thru vaping in front of children is stupid to the extreme. If someone is such a drug adicet they can't wait till lunch to vape they are pretty fucking gross.

Thanks for all the views, it's helped me to think it through.

People are absolutely right that we should have asked her at interview, it just didn't occur to us. We got the contract from the agency who sent her to us, and it's not mentioned in there either, so she can justifiably be a bit pissed off if we now fire her over it.

I think we will end the contract but give a bit more notice than we have to in recognition that we messed up on this one.

Our next advert will say no smoking!

That seems a sensible way forward OP, hindsight is always 20 20 !

I would never use a nanny that smoked. Ugh. YANBU to get rid of her.

Beachbaby or middle class smokers (my socialising straddles demographics) have the means to hide/cover it? Smoking is rife ime with the barristers, solicitors, arts administration and secondary teachers I know through work or wider social group. But a lot of them don't smell of smoke and you find out "out of hours" because they are invested in the idea of it being a bit grubby and not seen as classy. Tey have the means (for example a long garden and changes of clothes plus loads of laundry whenever or socialising outside a lot, with somewhere to change and no work uniform) to cover it up.

A lot of my friends on lower income and what they'd call "skilled/semi skilled" jobs back in the day Vape. It's significantly cheaper. They can't afford fags.

But it's like the old fallacy that drink is class/age based ... right up until they found huge issues with older middle-middle class drinkers. Just because it's wine... and just because it's Marlborough after a prosecco out in your big garden not Royals in the street. ..
The problem is every "posh" smoker I know also knows to lie about it to medical folk. And does. They font all know each other so that is unlikely to be a huge coincidence...

I would ask her to give up because you really like her but hate smoking and the smell of smoke.
She will thank you in the long term.