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AIBU?

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Original poster

ExH kissing DD15 on the lips

271 replies

noodella · 10/08/2017 21:19

I know there's been a lot in the press recently about "celebs" kissing their young children on the lips, but what about older teenagers?
ExH turned up to pick up DD15 yesterday and kissed her on the lips as they walked to the car. The more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I am with it. I love my Dad with all my heart, but kissing him on the lips would just seem wrong.
AIBU to think it's weird or is it quite normal?

OP posts:
Cailleach666 · 11/08/2017 13:57

It's interesting isn't it- someone mentioned TV- and that is right, we don't see lip kissing of close family members ( except sexual partners) on TV or the screen- and that certainly mirrors my own personal experience-I don't know any lip kissers among my family, extended family or friends.
Yet lots of people on this thread do lip kiss children it seems.
Watch any family movie and you will see lots of adults kissing, children- including adult children being stroked, cuddled, kissed on the cheek, toes, or sore knees, - so not as if affection is not being displayed at all.
Just no lip kissing.
I wonder why that is ?
If it is so common and mainstream why have I never seen it even on TV?
I would love to be proven wrong and someone tells me of a movie scene of a parent lip kissing an adult child I would be interested.

ShesABloodyLoon · 11/08/2017 14:06

35 here. DH 38. We both kiss our children (5,7 & 10) on the lips and I still kiss my mum and dad on the lips. So to me, YABU.

Twinkleheth · 11/08/2017 14:23

My childhood was full of abuse and fear - my children have a completely different experience where we show love, respect, humour. My son had cerebral palsy and used his mouth in a very SENSORY way (absolutely not SEXUAL) so he would put a lot of things in his mouth and use his tongue to explore. When we kissed it was a running joke that 'he would get the jail' for kissing his mummy like that. Kissing Andrew was slobbery and hilarious and just filled with so much love. It definitely wasn't a snog. His sisters and I kiss each other often, we hug and chat while hugging then kiss on the lips - we are very close and our physical affection keeps us strong. We've lost Andrew (sudden death due to undiagnosed heart condition) and like PP has said, what I would give to have one of those slobbery kisses and hear the laughter and cries of, Andrew, you're going to get lifted! I didn't start kissing my babies on the mouth until they were maybe few weeks old due to risk of passing infections - but with daughters at 20, 16 and 8 I don't think we will be stopping xxx

Zarah123 · 11/08/2017 15:23

But it's parents who habitualise their kids to lip kissing. So of course it becomes normal for the child.

I think because of the world we live in, where our DC are more likely to be abused by someone in the family or a family friend, it's irresponsible to kiss children on the lips.

It helps erode their boundaries.

squoosh · 11/08/2017 15:25

That's nonsense.

DJBaggySmalls · 11/08/2017 15:26

Its not up to anyone here to say its ok; its up to OP's daughter to decide.

Cath2907 · 11/08/2017 15:31

My nearly 7 year old is hugely tactile with both me and hubby. Her favorite night of the week is mummy bed night when she can share my bed (Daddy gets sent to the spare room). She loves to kiss on the lips and cuddle with both me and hubby. I don't see this changing anytime soon so I'd imagine she'll be a lip kisser into teenage-hood.

If you are concerned ask your daughter if she minds. If she isn't bothered by it then it is fine. It is just a kiss from a loving Dad to his daughter.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 11/08/2017 15:32

I think because of the world we live in, where our DC are more likely to be abused by someone in the family or a family friend, it's irresponsible to kiss children on the lips.

Absolute rubbish.

HTH

Zarah123 · 11/08/2017 15:42

Pooh well, it would help if you said why it's rubbish. So no, it didn't help Confused

Must have hit a raw spot.

n0ne · 11/08/2017 15:48

I kissed my dad on the lips until he passed away a couple of years ago in his 70s. Not weird.

PandorasXbox · 11/08/2017 15:57

It's each to their own isn't it. There's no way I'd kiss anyone on the lips apart from my dc when they were tiny and DH. Would just feel weird but to others it's perfectly natural. No right or wrong.

spankhurst · 11/08/2017 16:01

My mum and dad, both born in the 1930s, kissed us on the lips and still do. I think the cheek/air kissing thing is a much more recent thing.
I think unless there is any other cause for concern there is no need to worry.

ZanyMobster · 11/08/2017 16:35

Normal in our family and amongst lots of our friends. I cannot see how it is creepy, that says more about the person thinking that IMO.

This topic is massively over-done on MN and the non-lip kissers always throw out weird/creepy etc as if it is some sort of sexual thing.

Some people are more affectionate and 'kissy' than others, doesn't make it weird or creepy, either way is fine as long as all parties are happy!

MsHarry · 11/08/2017 16:36

Cail Do you think for one minute We would kiss our children on the lips or walk from bathroom to bedroom semi nude/nude if our DDs were uncomfortable?? It's normal to them because we have always done it!

ZanyMobster · 11/08/2017 16:39

Zarah - I think that is the most ridiculous comment I have seen on here. Why would kissing on the lips be irresponsible because someone is more likely to be abused by family/friends? That doesn't even make sense.

Our children are taught about the pants rule from the NSPCC etc, they know what is appropriate, we are not kissing our DCs using tongues or touching them inappropriately, they get a peck on the lips, they know the difference between that and something that is wrong!

IdoHaveAName · 11/08/2017 16:41

Weird as fuck.

MsHarry · 11/08/2017 16:42

Yes you are Ido

ZanyMobster · 11/08/2017 16:45

I would have more concerns about someone who thinks a peck on the lips is weird as fuck or creepy when it is close family/friends.

Aeroflotgirl · 11/08/2017 16:56

I think its inapproriate!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 11/08/2017 16:58

Must have hit a raw spot.

No wrong. Try again GF

Lexieblue · 11/08/2017 17:06

We kiss on the lips but I am a bit weird about positioning of the face. Family I will kiss on lips but always slightly off central I don't know why it's what I've always done and it's automatic I will adjust my face so only around half my lips touch theirs. There's weird for you 😂

ticketytock1 · 11/08/2017 17:12

I must be weird as fuck. 36 and I kiss most of my family, and my MIL on the lips 😬

RebelRogue · 11/08/2017 17:28

I think because of the world we live in, where our DC are more likely to be abused by someone in the family or a family friend, it's irresponsible to kiss children on the lips.

Ah yes,never mind about teaching her the pants rule, personal space,that she is in charge of her body, that she doesn't have to kiss/hug anyone if she doesn't want to and waves/hi fives are ok, that even with kissing we take our cues from her -sometimes she wants lips,sometimes she wants cheeks, sometimes she wants feet 😬😬- .

Nope all of that doesn't matter, she's extra vulnerable and we are irresponsible because we lip kiss. Hmm

crazyhorses3 · 11/08/2017 17:31

not appropriate at all!

PlainOldJosephineMary · 11/08/2017 17:34

33, kids Dad on lips. He's my Dad. Why would that be weird AT ALL?!!!

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