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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About this mum in the coffee shop

826 replies

Sallygoroundthemoon · 10/08/2017 11:54

I am currently in a coffee shop having a nice cup of tea and catching up on my emails. It is fairly buzzing with chat and so on but not the sort of place with thumping music if you see what I mean. All good and to be expected in a coffee shop. However, there is a mum the other side of the shop reading stories to her toddler at the top of her voice, complete with pauses and shouts to make the toddler jump, silly voices and so on.

Now I am all one for reading to little ones and am not adverse to silly voices but AIBU to think that a nice coffee shop is not the place to be doing this so loudly? I've now heard the same story several times and it is driving me up the wall, not to mention being on edge waiting for the dramatic shouts. It just reeks of 'look at me, I'm a parent don't you know and I don't give a shit about anyone else'.

OP posts:
MumIsRunningAMarathon · 10/08/2017 11:56

Performance parenting..... cringe cringe cringe

Shadowboy · 10/08/2017 12:01

Ugh - seen that many times. Parents who want to show they are parenting.

Original poster
Sallygoroundthemoon · 10/08/2017 12:03

Phew. Thought it was just me being grumpy and intolerant. We have now had a rendition of 10 in the bed (sung) and another book has just come out.

OP posts:
That1950sMum · 10/08/2017 12:04

She's a tit.

beedybeedybumbum · 10/08/2017 12:04

Hate it. YANBU

flapflops · 10/08/2017 12:05

I can't stand parents like that!! I bet the kid just wishes she'd shut up too

HarrietKettleWasHere · 10/08/2017 12:05

Oh no, she probably does any know what a knob she sounds. Or maybe she does. I never know with this. I sat next to a woman on the train the other day reading her approx one year old the Guardian out loud Confused

OverTheHammer · 10/08/2017 12:07

Why not go over to her and scream in her ear? Or just tell her to shut the fuck up as nobody is interested in her performance parenting? I hate people like this! Stupid cow. Chuck your coffee over her and make sure it hits the book she's reading from.

kissmethere · 10/08/2017 12:07

Yes performance parenting. I had this on the bus the other day including a recap of their whole day and where they're going for dinner. And reminiscing loudly of what a fun summer holiday they've had. All loud enough for the audience on the top deck and a few sneaky glances to see if she had our attention.

pictish · 10/08/2017 12:07

Yanbu. Very annoying.

hiphopcat · 10/08/2017 12:08

Yeah, seen this at a popular pub/restaurant the other week. A woman telling a story to her 2 kids and spelling out words for them, and wheeeeing and ooohing and aaahhhhing, for the best part of an hour. I wanted to fucking murder her.

DH thinks they are trying to prove something. 'Ooooh, look at what a great mommy I am!' We have this theory that women who do this, scream at them indoors and have no tolerance for them.

Seen it happen actually. An old neighbour of my friend's did all this with her 2 y.o. son in the garden in the summer; giggle and coo-ing and playing with him for an hour or so. And then when she went in, you could hear her through the walls, screaming at her and shouting and effing and jeffing at son, and he was sobbing.

Just a show that's all it is.

hiphopcat · 10/08/2017 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1499786242 · 10/08/2017 12:11

Eurgh a woman did this in the doctors waiting room the other day
She was actually looking around and trying to get people to laugh etc...
A few old ladies were enjoying the performance but I wanted to shout fuck off

JaneEyre70 · 10/08/2017 12:11

Give her a round of applause next time she gets to the end of the story, and shout "Bravo".

Mrscropley · 10/08/2017 12:13

Ask her what time story time finishes so you can enjoy your coffee then?

PandorasXbox · 10/08/2017 12:15

This winds me up. Some people have huge gobs and even bigger egos.

NotMyPenguin · 10/08/2017 12:16

It's just so hard to win (as a mum) when you go out of the house.

There have been threads this week now about how terrible it is when kids are given electronic devices and cartoons to watch to keep them quiet... now it's terrible to read them books yourself too...

I get where you are coming from, I like reading peacefully in coffee shops too -- but can we really expect parents with kids to sequester themselves in their own homes all the time and never go out except to soft play areas? (I'd have died of boredom if restricted to all the fecking 'mum' stuff and stay and plays, really, I would have gone utterly mad without a bit of normal life...)

Not sure what the answer is, just wanted to rant, sorry :-)

ClemDanfango · 10/08/2017 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hiphopcat · 10/08/2017 12:18

What amazes me with this 'performance parenting' is why do they think utter strangers are going to care whether they're a 'brilliant mum?' Confused

I remember being on the train once with my friend, and one woman was having a verrrry loud and lengthy phone conversation with someone (it lasted 10-15 minutes or so,) where she talked non-stop, at length, VERY loudly, about her son going to university. Which uni it was, which route they were going to drive, the road his 'halls' were in, how much they'd spent kitting him out (with books and stuff for his halls accommodation - a total of two thousand pounds apparently!)

And she carried on......about when he was coming home for the week, how he was looking forward to freshers week, how he was going to join the Doctor Who club, how the the uni had already said he is going to excel in his subject (fuck knows how they knew that!) and a bunch of other bollocks nobody gave a shit about.

As I said, why do people we don't know think that other people care? Confused

plimsolls · 10/08/2017 12:18

Argh. I agree. I mean, I'm totally up for people entertaining their children in public so the children don't cry/run around under other people's feet/cause a scene but there is no need for Performance Parenting. It does my head in.

I read books to my baby to keep her happy on trains or cafes or whatever but I do it quietly. She sits on my lap and I don't need to shout. In fact, I'd be bloody self conscious doing it any other way.

I was on a train a little while ago and this idiot dad was doing Performance Parenting for the benift of the whole carriage and guess what he did? "Oh look Astrid and Iris, there is a BABY in her PRAM over there. We LOVE babies and YOU ARE SO GOOD WITH BABIES. Let's go and see!"

It was my bloody baby and she was asleep! The rotters. I told him very firmly to leave my baby out of it.

Glad I've got that off my chest, it's been annoying me for months Grin

acornsandnuts · 10/08/2017 12:18

Arses. I have the delight of listening to a dad performance parenting in a pizza express. Knob. 'Can you remember how we make our own artisan authentic pesto at home Julius, yes, yes you can can't you' the kid was probably only one years old. The dad still went through ingredient and method for twenty feckin minutes. Tit.

pictish · 10/08/2017 12:19

The answer is too read the book without turning it into a loud performance that dominates the space.

pictish · 10/08/2017 12:19

*to

Neutrogena · 10/08/2017 12:19

Maybe she hadn't noticed you (and the others) and just wanted to make the story fun for her child?

This self-centredness is very tiring. I am going for a coffee (to a public place) but I demand everyone is quiet.

You'd hate me and my kids OP - I let them run wild in these places.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 10/08/2017 12:19

I think the OP is saying while it's lonely to read your child a book, it's not lovely to subject a whole coffeee shop to a theatrical performance complete with loud sound effects, NotMyPenguin.

It's just cringeworthy and not necessary.