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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Babies on the tube at 11.30

270 replies

CoughLaughFart · 08/08/2017 23:53

I've just spent 20 minutes on the tube listening to not one, but two babies screaming at top volume. It's nearly midnight! Who is that irresponsible?

OP posts:

Original poster

CoughLaughFart · 09/08/2017 12:02

But why did you post, then completely refuse to discuss any of the replies?

Because the ones that made valid points were buried under a pile of insults.

OP posts:

Sayhellotothemoomoos · 09/08/2017 12:06

I posted this, no insults were made.

Op you've gone from babies on the tube, to school children on the tube, to domestic abuse?

As everyone has said, there could be any number of perfectly valid reasons why babies were on the tube late at night. Same goes for school children.

Just one example seen as though you don't seem to have much imagination. I've had to take my children out late to the hospital/walk in centre and to pick up prescriptions.

It's a far stretch to go from "none of your business children being out late", to "none of your business about domestic abuse".

EuropeanEgg · 09/08/2017 12:07

Ah the classic:
OP: AIBU?
Everyone else: Yes
OP: No I'm not!

Annoys the shit out of me this. 👆

EdmundCleverClogs · 09/08/2017 12:09

Because the ones that made valid points were buried under a pile of insults.

I've just gone back and read through the first half of the thread. All of the posts are none-insulting and only explaining why 'routine' doesn't always work. The only poster you've replied to is the one person who's replies have been deleted. It's suggests to me you had no intention of replying to those to respectfully disagreed with you and had valid reasons to do so. Other than the one deleted poster, how has anyone else been 'insulting' here?

ZuriWanders · 09/08/2017 12:11

I had to take my baby to an out of hours doctors surgery late at night when she was a few months old, because she wouldn't stop crying and it was so unlike her that I admittedly got carried away thinking she might be getting meningitis or some other illness. New mum, stressed out.

We walked because we didn't have a car or money for taxi, and we thought maybe walking her might calm her down. Luckily the docs wasn't that far. God forbid we had to go a bit further, and ended up on the tube with her screaming and you looking on in judgement...

maddiemookins16mum · 09/08/2017 12:12

Personally I can't think of anything worse than taking a baby/toddler/child on any public transport that late at night so can only assume they...
a) had no choice
b) had no other choice
c) would rather have been tucked up in bed themselves.
I'd think it a bit odd (for a nanosecond) and would have felt a bit sorry for them actually.
I'd then have finished eating my smelly McDonalds 🍔😳

ZuriWanders · 09/08/2017 12:15

Just want to add, obviously we checked over the phone with doc for signs of meng and she didn't have any other symptoms other than the different crying, but he still thought it best we come in to put my mind at rest.

GinIsIn · 09/08/2017 12:19

OP are you feeling quite well?

Cheekyfuckerneighbour · 09/08/2017 12:23

I've had ds on the tube that late. Once because we needed to see a doctor and a few times at different ages because of late/early flights or because 11.30 isn't actually that late for him when he has jet lag.

AhhhhThatsBass · 09/08/2017 12:25

OP, I think it's hard to deem the parents irresponsible without knowing the circumstances or the back story. We've been on the tube a few times late at night with a baby when we have had dinner at friends', not been able to source childcare so taken the DC, thrown them into bed at my friends' , then got them up, into the buggy and into the tube home. Not ideal, no. My little one is usually in bed by 7, up at 7am. So am I irresponsible? No. If I was doing it every night of the week, then yes, most likely, it's a bit irresponsible. I do caveat that by reiterating that everyone has a different story to tell - the parents could have been escaping an abusive situation for example (unlikely but entirely possible).
You chose to sit there and judge get annoyed; you could have simply hopped into the next carriage at the next stop and given it no further thought. So in conclusion, I'd say YAB a bit U.

Original poster

CoughLaughFart · 09/08/2017 12:28

That's not how forums work, especially AIBU. We don't go away because you don't have the cognitive ability to reason out your opinions and counter others' disagreement of your posts.

But you keep accusing me of being goady'. Why would you keep coming back? Aren't you playing into my hands by getting so annoyed by this?

You think I'm just here for an argument - I don't see how your behaviour is any different.

OP posts:

user1483617032 · 09/08/2017 12:34

Babies are known not to sleep at night, does it matter what time their parents are taking them out? I took my son shopping late at night becase that was the time he was wide awake.

EdmundCleverClogs · 09/08/2017 12:35

CoughLaughFart, I haven't called you goady, only explained why others may think you read as if you were. I've asked several times if you would like to elaborate on your op and other posters disagreement with your opinion, you are the one who refuses to do so. Shall I ask again?

Why do you think parents should be judged as 'irresponsible' for taking babies and children out at night, especially when there could be many a reason for needing to do so? Do you think 'routine' trumps all other reasoning?

user1483617032 · 09/08/2017 12:35

No point trying to sleep late at night when all your child does is sleep in the day, so parents have to sleep when their baby does.

youaredeluded · 09/08/2017 12:40

Wow OP... you seem really angry? Maybe you need to get some professional help? Everyone has said YABU. What more do you want?

abigailgabble · 09/08/2017 12:42

babies do not give a fuck about what time of day it is. they sleep when they sleep. routine comes later. wind your bloody neck in.

Original poster

CoughLaughFart · 09/08/2017 12:45

Deluded - that is offensive.

OP posts:

CheshireChat · 09/08/2017 12:46

But a lot of people don't agree children need a strict routine, particularly babies.

Why are you adamant it's mandatory for kids to be in bed at, say, 7?

noeffingidea · 09/08/2017 12:46

I'm a parent who liked routine but I had no problem taking my kids out in the evening if we had a party or were visiting family, or any other reason really. If they fell asleep they were popped in the pram or car seat, if they cried they were given a cuddle. They never came to any harm and it isn't a big deal at all.
Somebody upthread mentioned liking routine is an 'oldie' thing, well I'm an oldie and other parents I knew used to do this as well. It was normal to take babies to weddings (and stay to the end), to beer gardens and family friendly restaurants. There again there didn't to be as many judgy twats about.

Travis1 · 09/08/2017 12:49

This thread has highly tickled me this morning.

I think it's because so many people are getting all up in arms and op just keeps delivering one liners to keep everyone going. 'yeah but, no but, yeah but, no' Vicky Pollard eat your heart out. For what it's worth OP YABU

EdmundCleverClogs · 09/08/2017 12:54

I think it's because so many people are getting all up in arms

I'm not up in arms, just really confused as to why the op won't answer some simple questions in regards to her OP. It's quite bizarre. She's just declared parents 'irresponsible' for a bloody odd reason, then spent the rest of the thread telling people to stop responding instead of accepting she's probably been a bit of an irrational judgy-pants on this occasion.

ArchieStar · 09/08/2017 12:56

OP, I don't think you're being a goady fucker or anything like that.

However, why has this situation bothered you so much to post about it? You say babies/kids need routine (some agree some don't), maybe this is part of their routine?

ThymeLordIsSpartacus · 09/08/2017 12:59

There are TEN pages of people responding, which is exactly what GFs like this want!

ThymeLordIsSpartacus · 09/08/2017 12:59

and yes I'm aware I just contributed to that

Gottagetmoving · 09/08/2017 13:01

If it bothered you so much, you should have asked the people involved why they were out at that time of night with a baby.
They may have had perfectly good reasons....and babies cry, so get over it.

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