Child allowed to go home with a stranger

[Emmie412]

I signed up my 7-year-old for a sports camp, 3 hours a day, five days a week. I enquired in advance whether parents had to stay and they said no, most parents dropped off their children.

Fast forward to the first day and my child is brought home by a mum, who had a kid in the same camp but who is COMPLETELY UNKNOWN to us and my child. My child had gotten upset and the coach had asked her to sit on the side. The other parents who had been present had been trying to talk to her, which in turn made her more upset. The mum in question had then announced to the coach that she was taking my child home to which the coach had simply said fine. At no point did anyone ring us although contact details were provided during booking process.

I raised my concerns directly with the coach whose only (morose) response was to say there was no refund and that he didn't 'send her' home. It is obvious that he had a duty of care so I escalated this to the manager who swiftly responded by confirming that the coach had been reprimanded, refund had already been processed and that they would instantly review their safe-guarding processes and policies.

Luckily my child was fine and while I hope this coach gets the sack, am still left wondering what sort of mum thinks it is ok to take an unknown child without the permission of the parents, without knowing where she lived and without knowing whether parents would be home? (My child had to guide her through the park to our home address). Although she was upset, she was not lost and the coach had our phone number (which he clearly failed to use).

The whole incident has left me full of unease. We are very lucky that nothing happened but this has truly put me off any sort of holiday camps.

I would be furious, the woman who brought child home was at worse arrogant and at best stupid. I would be asking some very awkward questions and warning other parents.

I would be reporting this to some sort of higher governing body like ofsted etc. Totally not OK.

Our holiday/youth club won't even let me collect my friends children at the same time as mine without prior notification even though for 3 years we have arrived and almost always left together. My self and the other parent are both on the management committee for said club which the staff also know an di regularly collect each other's children when arranged. So bizarre they would allow this. sury even the parent knew it was unacceptable due to encountering these policies regularly as everyone with kids does!

Why did your 7 year old getting so upset that she was asked to sit out? The camp is only for 3 hours/day. I would investigate attachment issues.

Give me strength! She is 7 not 17, first time at a club, maybe she didnt know anyone, maybe it was horrible, maybe the crap coach shouted at them? 101 other possibilities.

Its not the childs fault all this happened.

Is this a nationwide holiday club scheme OP? I'm not feeling great about my kids going to one:/

Seriously doubt it sparkly. My kids have been to a national scheme today, they've had a ball and the signing in and out system is very professional.

Thanks catkind. I'm hoping mine will enjoy it but this has worried me!

Really quite shocking to say the least. Some years back I sent both of my boys to a summer sports club, that was billed to be great fun, different sports, inflatables etc, it sounded amazing on paper, my boys absolutely hated it, the "coaches" where like Sargent Majors, shouting etc, one child asked when he could have his lunch, not an unreasonable request as it was nearly 2pm. And was told to think about what he had said and made to stand facing the wall. When DH went to collect the boys after their "fun" day, every child stood up, desparate to leave! To be told stop he can't be all your Dad's! I can't remember the name of the company unfortunately, needless to say my boys did not go back the following day.

Agree with virtually everyone else.
Shocking behaviour by both the coach and the other parent.

I too would go way above the manager's head and be reporting to OFSTED and/or strategic or National managers. I wouldn't just leave it at the coach and their immediate line manager.

Agree with reporting to OFSTED plus weren't they taking a chance on you even being home?

Totally unacceptable to let your child leave with an unknown adult. The leader should have phoned you directly instead.

"Investigate attachment issues 😂

Parents don't see this though, they just see cheap childcare unfortunately when you do things on the cheap then corners are cut and what the op experienced is the result

The cost of the childcare is absolutely irrelevant. I am chair of a voluntary run/staffed playscheme and after school care and this would never happen with us. Our playscheme is £7.50 a week, the local "professional" outfit charges £27 a day. One of us just received a glowing report, the other will be revisted soon because of serious safeguarding issues and we won't be the ones seeing them again soon.

It's not about cost. It's about training, and having an ounce of common sense.

This is a basic cock-up by someone who has no right to be working with children. The watching parents should have have no access to your daughter at all. Not even to chat to her. If you don't have enough staff to be dealing with an upset/sick/hurt child then you don't have enough staff.

The chances of your DD neing harmed by the woman were very, very slim, however that's not the point. The point is that your child should have been in the club with the checked staff and only there. Not off with a random person.

How long before pick up did they let her go? Not that it matters, but it would be a good way to highlight their stupidity to them. How long would it have been before anyone realised that your DD had not been taken home? An hour? two hours? Do they have any record of who took her? If you asked them now could they tell you which parent it was that took her? Or did someone just say they'd take her home and they waved them ahead without even noticing who it was?

At the club dd has been going to you have to name anyone who might collect the child when you register, and you have to have a password so they know the collector is genuine. My understanding (might be wrong?) is that you only have to register with Ofsted etc if the club runs for more than a certain length of time per day. DD has been to local Bible club and it finishes at 12 so that they avoid Ofsted and all the rules you have to conform to with them - no safeguarding worries in that club though.

Funny how OP never came back, no?

sara07 There are lots that don't have to register. A lot of the sports based ones do (well, in my experience) because they are expensive. If they are registered and classed as childcare then people who are entitled can claim tax credits or childcare vouchers toward the cost - which obviously makes the club more attractive to parents. Unfortunately for the clubs who don't run properly (but fortunately for the kids) they're discovering that makes them subject to proper rules and regs.

It's also a shame the way the rules have changed because lots of clubs that didn't have to be registered could choose to be. However, it's no longer taken into consideration the kind of club they are. So another playscheme I know isn't registered anymore because they don't have individual child plans with achievable goals each or several goal meetings with parents - because they run for 5 or 6 weeks a year and have different kids each week! They themselves feel it's not right that they don't have anyone really keeping an eye on them anymore.

The club was at fault - all staff should be fully aware that they don't do this. If DC was upset they should either have got her to sit out, encouraged her or called her parents. However, the woman who brought your child home should have known better. It is not the 1950s - you don't take other people's children away from clubs etc. YANBU. I would be fuming.

Something similar happened to me. DD supposed to be doing a sports club after school and apparently didn't want to do it. She told her friends mum she didn't want to do it so this parent, who I vaguely knew, took her to the park. I arrived at sports club to find DD not there. I went equally batshit with the sports coach AND the friends mum when I tracked them down.

What ??
I'm sorry, excuse this,
WTF ?
My daughter just finished her dance summer school last Friday .She attended 5 days (9.45am to 5 pm)
Only names provided on the form can collect your child.

Why doesn't your child know not to go with strangers though? hmm

Oh shove your face where the sun don't shine.

Do you actually have children? We try and drill it in to children to not go with 'strangers' not people who we have seen, whose children we may know, and who have been given permission by a person of authority like the coach. Few small children are going to say "stop, I don't have permission to go with you".

If you think your seven year old definitely wouldn't do the same, ask yourself if you've ever had to tell them off for not following any of your house rules.

My children have been specifically told that they are to never get in a car with anyone unless I say so. Friends, family anyone. And stranger danger is a stupid to teach them anyway as they're more likely to be abducted by someone they've seen before and think they 'know' (strange man from the shop down the corner etc).

They've still tried to go with people without checking I knew they'd been asked (I had).

If children behaved like adults they wouldn't be children.

I dropped my kids off yesterday at a sports camp for the first time. The didn't take my name and I didn't sign them in. I got there a bit early for pickup so I went to the pitches to see how they were enjoying it. They were on separate pitches. While I was looking at dc1, dc2 saw me and started to make to come off pitch. I told him to stay there but then saw another parent helpfully open the door for him. I went over, got the attention of the coach and asked if it was ok to take him and went to sit in reception to wait for dc1. When the rest of the kids came they were just picked up. I again checked it was ok to leave with the coach who was not interested.

Alltheworld that is definately NOT normal. Was it some kind of pop in free council session or something?? Childcare providers such as hol clubs should have safeguarding procedures, emergency contact details in case of an accident, basic medical info (eg nut allergy / asthma) etc
I would be asking a lot of questions about that came and not returning.
I am involved in kids sports and have dealt with broken wrists, DC with asthma attacks and even a nasty head injury when two DC ran into one another. Proper holiday camps are providing paid for childcare and must have basic provisions in place.

The responsibility lies with the adult in charge of the club firstly. The poor child is innocent in this!

In answer to smelly boot.. it is a long running well regarded local football club providing 5 hours a day football activities during the holidays. I know the local tennis club provides something similar but only morning or afternoon deliberately to avoid extra paperwork. My kids have been in various camps, nursery settings and after school clubs etc but this is the first time I have come across anything so relaxed. Is this something I should raise with foster? I suspect the club doesn't consider it is offering childcare.

Foster should be ofsted