Child allowed to go home with a stranger

[Emmie412]

I signed up my 7-year-old for a sports camp, 3 hours a day, five days a week. I enquired in advance whether parents had to stay and they said no, most parents dropped off their children.

Fast forward to the first day and my child is brought home by a mum, who had a kid in the same camp but who is COMPLETELY UNKNOWN to us and my child. My child had gotten upset and the coach had asked her to sit on the side. The other parents who had been present had been trying to talk to her, which in turn made her more upset. The mum in question had then announced to the coach that she was taking my child home to which the coach had simply said fine. At no point did anyone ring us although contact details were provided during booking process.

I raised my concerns directly with the coach whose only (morose) response was to say there was no refund and that he didn't 'send her' home. It is obvious that he had a duty of care so I escalated this to the manager who swiftly responded by confirming that the coach had been reprimanded, refund had already been processed and that they would instantly review their safe-guarding processes and policies.

Luckily my child was fine and while I hope this coach gets the sack, am still left wondering what sort of mum thinks it is ok to take an unknown child without the permission of the parents, without knowing where she lived and without knowing whether parents would be home? (My child had to guide her through the park to our home address). Although she was upset, she was not lost and the coach had our phone number (which he clearly failed to use).

The whole incident has left me full of unease. We are very lucky that nothing happened but this has truly put me off any sort of holiday camps.

NAME THE CLUB ?

That's scary! The coach was telling your DC that it's ok to go off in a stranger's car. i would be having serious words too.

Hopefully your DC will now be more wary of stranger danger.

I suspect the club assumed the parent knew your DD.

They are wrong for assuming that and wrong for allowing the woman to take your DD without checking with your first.

When my ds did holiday club or my nephew goes my mum - who collects them both a lot! - still has to give the password because she's not their parent!

That is awful. You were right to go batshit at them. I would have done.

Even if the club assumed the child knew the random woman, you still don't allow them to go home with anyone other than the people the parents have indicated. Schools know this - sporting clubs should know this. The other mother was probably well-intentioned, just thoughtless - and I suppose when the coach said it was OK to take the DD home that legitimised it in her head, IYSWIM.

All the clubs my two have been involved with over the years, you'd never just be allowed to go home with just anyone, that's crazy!
How would the other mum even know if you'd be in? What if you'd gone out and was going to pick up dd on your way back?
Never mind the whole letting them go off with strangers thing too.
Club seriously in the wrong here, I'd be fuming too!

That's terrible and the coach and centre were mainly at fault, but I know the other mum was trying to be helpful, but what's wrong with her for not getting the centre to ring you first to see if you agreed to this ... I wouldn't consider taking anyone's child anywhere without permission

I would be going absolutely ape and reporting them to ofsted. I am involved in kids sports and also use a number of camps ( and there is one I dont use due to safeguarding concerns).
There is no way on earth the coach should have allowed a child to leave with anyone other than the nominated contact.
If the child needed collecting they should simply phone you and request you attend and make that decision.
The women was insane to take your child with no permission, not having any contact details for you or even knowing if you were home?
What if something had happened to them or you had gone shopping or some thing..???
Can you imagine if it was a male person who walked away with an unknown to them 7 year old girl !?!?!?
Its so outrageous its beyond belief.

This is outrageous. No way should the mum have been allowed to walk off with your child.

Are you a parent quitelikely? I am really surprised you think it is ok for your child to be removed from a club where you think they are safe, by an adult you do not know. Anything could have person was a complete stranger.

I'd have no problem staying with an unknown child until a parent arrived but no way would I take them home. What she was thinking was ridiculous . Helpful , no not really.

WTF. The woman was probably well intentioned, but rather naive - she knows she is to be trusted, and may have been willing to keep a strange child until the parents are home - but the coach should have known better.

Statistically, it would have been highly unlikely that the strange mother would have been a criminal, but there's all kinds of things that could happen - for one, your daughter might not have been able to guide her to where she lives.

Op that is not your dds fault, she is a child and cannot be responsible, the adults are at fault here, the club and the mother.

The mum didn't think properly, thought she was helping your child (and therefore you). The coach is clearly clueless and failed in his duties. He will be disciplined accordingly.

The manager acknowledged this failure of duty and apologised. This shouldn't have happened, but in the scheme of things, it's not the absolute end of the world and the drama doesn't need to go on.

Not in a million years would i offer to take a child home i didn't know. And what were the coaches doing to try to coax her into getting involved/enjoy it?
Sounds like they just left her to it, along with everything else that is crap in itself.
I'm assuming the other parent wasn't helping out at camp, just there with their own child?
Whole thing is bonkers.... is it a new set up OP or well established?

The coach should not have allowed her to go off with the other parent. That said, I find it highly unlikely that your child getting upset was completely out of character so I don't think you should have left her in the first place.

They obviously assumed the parent was known to you and your child, seeing as she offered to take her home and your child willingly left with them

youarenotkiddingme You're a 100% right. I collect my niece and nephew most days from holiday club - like I've been doing for the past 5 years but I still have to give password and they still sometimes are asked who I am. For reasons exactly as this. Even if she was helpful and 99% of people aren't out to cause harm - these rules are in place for that 1%.

OP I'd raise hell. Christ only knows what would have happened.

so you got this guy sacked? fifty years ago, parents would be extremely grateful, now we have a band of parents who think their child is so precious, that anything perfect in unacceptable. get over it! Shes fine and good on the woman who took her home....

YANBU to leave your child at a club where you have been told that most parents do not stay

The other mum was being incredibly U to take a strange child home. Even though I'm sure it was done with the best intentions, it's just so so wrong.

The coach was the one who is most U, though, as this breaches all safeguarding processes and protocols, and I'm glad that the manager saw this

I'd be fuming, but it does seem as if the coach thought your child was familiar with the other parent.

Wow just wow! Like what other posters have said I would have gone absolutely mental! What kind of response is that from the coach!! They should not be allowed to look after children. Wonder how many other incidents have happened while this person has been in charge. YANBU in the slightest and I would be making a formal complaint against them.
Yes the women was being kind but she should know to ask the coach to ring you to collect your child.

What did you say to the mum when she arrived home? What would she have done if you were out?

barbsbarbs - is that really what you think? Or are you just saying it to be contentious? It's absolutely irrelevant what may or may not have been the case 50 years ago.

swingofthings

The manager acknowledged this failure of duty and apologised. This shouldn't have happened, but in the scheme of things, it's not the absolute end of the world and the drama doesn't need to go on.

Are you familiar with mumsnet?!!