Is this accepted now? Young children and electronics on public transport.

[AnneGrommit]

The last few times I've been on a train (not in quiet coach) and quite often on the bus I've had my peace disturbed by toddlers with phones/tablets either playing noisy games on them or watching programmes. When I've asked parents to rein them in I've been invariably met with either passive aggressive remarks about not liking children (I have three myself) or outright hostility and a statement along the lines of "it keeps them quiet". No, it doesn't. It stops them from pestering you but it's far from quiet. AIBU or is this an accepted "thing" now? Because it's fucking annoying.

Youthecat it still feels a bit weird saying it out loud, that I have two autistic children. I have known in my heart for a while but they were both only diagnosed in June (age 10 and 7)!

Thankfully public transport isn't an issue for them so I'm very grateful for that, although DD will say loudly if someone needs to turn down their music. I'm autistic myself, and do find noise a problem, so it can be a struggle for me but thankfully tablet noise not disastrously so (I will just be extra worn out afterwards due to sensory overload). But oh boy I wish it was as simple as suggested to just magically not need to use public transport anymore, if nothing else just to not have to take at least an hour to get anywhere useful. :o

Earlier on it was suggested that people with children who needed tablets and couldn't cope with headphones shouldn't use public transport. Adults who don't like noise don't like the same suggestion for themselves. If it is fair for one then why not for the other?

Some people have said no noise from kids gadgets is acceptable, others have said low volume is fine, some has said reasonable volume for kids with special needs is OK, I don't think anyone has said loud is is fine. Most are actually reasonable, a minority not so much.

No, it wasn't. I know you think that with so many posts you can just invent ones and no-one will check, but nobody said that at all, and you know it.

I definitely didn't suggest it myself anyway, that people should get off public transport. As I said I'm lucky that noise at low volume doesn't bother me too much, and not sure if I said earlier in the thread that thankfully my disabled DCs enjoy public transport and manage fine in waiting rooms etc without screen time (and when they do have tablets for long journeys they happily wear headphones). It's down to luck I think.

I was solely responding (having been just lurking on the thread for a bit) to the idea that people could easily choose not to use public transport, in the same way that people could avoid a forum with bad language or choose not to read certain threads. As a person with multiple disabilities and disabled kids, that is beyond inaccurate and actually (admittedly I am somewhat hormonal ATM) really depressed me.

NotEverNotever. Post suggesting they should be in a domestic car and some of the responses to that suggestion, there was more but if you want to check it out it starts on page 3.

Bemusedandpuzzled Tue 08-Aug-17 08:57:37
If a child can't wear headphones and has to have loud electronic noise around them to feel comfortable, is public transport really the best method of getting them around? Wouldn't the more controlled environment of a domestic car be easier? That is a genuine, not a rhetorical, question and I appreciate that the answer may vary according to the individual.

Spikeyball Tue 08-Aug-17 09:12:01
Bemused, no car, no 2nd car, parent can't drive for medical reasons perhaps. Motobility cars are rarely given for sensory difficulties unless there is extreme behaviour.
GettingMarried17 Tue 08-Aug-17 09:33:36
@Bemusedandpuzzled so do you expect every parent who can't afford to learn to drive or to be taxied everywhere to just stay at home? Because having an SEN child isn't isolating enough
Bemusedandpuzzled Tue 08-Aug-17 09:38:20
gettingmarried - It was a genuine question about what is best for the child, I'm not judging you or anyone else! Has the Motability scheme to give people help with driving costs now gone the way of so many other benefits and been cut?

PegLeg, I know you didn't suggest it but it does seem that the suggestions on here like wear ear plugs so you don't hear the noise is unacceptable but don't look at a thread if you don't like swearing is acceptable or children with special needs should be in a car is acceptable but adults who don't like noise should be in a car isn't does suggest double standards.

I think a reasonable point of view is that we all have to accept things we don't like in a public place, be it transport or something else. It might be noise, swearing, BO, heavy perfume, the smell of food. If we want to control the environment the only answer is to avoid public places because what is a joy to one is a nuisance to another and a non issue to a third.

No, that poster was asking a genuine question and was interested in responses. You twisted that. Very unfair of you to use the poster
to further your own agenda.
Are you going to keep going until the thread is full, insisting over and over that people can do as they please and those affected need to put up and shut up? You're said the same thing so many times. And are still wrong.

In your opinion. In my opinion and people who responded it was suggesting that they shouldn't be on public transport. Nobody needs to justify why they use public transport, it is there for everyone.

But you keep on with your agenda because you are obviously the judge of all things and those of us who are quite happy for kids to watch their videos will just carry on with our tolerant lives.

You're not tolerant. You just personally aren't bothered by this particular thing so you don't care about people that are. You are bothered by other things.
That's not tolerance, it's passivity unless you have a personal interest. Pure selfishness.

I responded to it as a genuine question but I do think it is a question that shouldn't have been asked. People shouldn't have to give reasons as to why they are in public places.

You're not tolerant. You just personally aren't bothered by this particular thing so you don't care about people that are. You are bothered by other things. That's not tolerance, it's passivity unless you have a personal interest. Pure selfishness.

This.

I love quiet coach. Love, love, love, love. Forget sliced bread, the internet and da bird toy for cats, this is the best invention of the modern era. No one of any age should have loud electronic music, sound etc. blaring anywhere in my opinion, but I always do my best to travel quiet to avoid the hassle.

Just in case anyone else would find these useful - I've found some headphones that are like a stretchy headband, and I think I will get some for my toddler as most regular headphones would still be big on her, and I think these might have more of a chance of staying on.

www.cozyphones.com/products/kids-soft-fleece-headphones