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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this accepted now? Young children and electronics on public transport.

789 replies

AnneGrommit · 08/08/2017 02:30

The last few times I've been on a train (not in quiet coach) and quite often on the bus I've had my peace disturbed by toddlers with phones/tablets either playing noisy games on them or watching programmes. When I've asked parents to rein them in I've been invariably met with either passive aggressive remarks about not liking children (I have three myself) or outright hostility and a statement along the lines of "it keeps them quiet". No, it doesn't. It stops them from pestering you but it's far from quiet. AIBU or is this an accepted "thing" now? Because it's fucking annoying.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 08/08/2017 07:37

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LittleCandle · 08/08/2017 07:39

I really don't mind a small child chatting - that's perfectly normal and there are all sorts of things outside the bus/train that you can talk about. But I loathe the noise from phones/tablets. Oddly enough, generations of kids grew up without the 'benefit' of these devices and if you can't entertain your child for a while without one of these things, then you really are lacking in all sorts of ways. How about actually interacting with your child?

Sirzy · 08/08/2017 07:39

Noise on = headphones in.

I get most annoyed if I get a rare child free meal out and end up having to listen to bloody peppa pig coming from another table

Trollspoopglitter · 08/08/2017 07:40

I find electronic noises far less irritating than whiny kids repeating themselves loudly for all to hear. Tablet noise and recorded programs are much easier to tune out than a live conversation.

But only in britain is there the ludicous expectation of public transport to be a quiet place where conversations are kept to minimum.

FrancisCrawford · 08/08/2017 07:42

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Winterview · 08/08/2017 07:43

I sometimes let my 2 year old watch things on the tablet, I turn the sound to low but don't switch it off or she won't watch it. I've tried headphones but she's a bit too young and just takes them off or chews the wires!

Sorry if you find electronic sound annoying but I think its here to stay. I agree adults and older children should wear headphones but toddlers are a bit different!

People glare more when she starts shouting/singing/screeching or banging things, or reading aloud at full volume or kicking the seat in front, or bouncing up and down making dinasour noises! Which would you rather?

I'm yet to meet a toddler who can sit quietly on a bus/train/plane or in a waiting room/cafe for more than 5 minutes!

Littlebelina · 08/08/2017 07:50

It's not just children though. Earlier in the summer I was in the parents room for the picu unit my daughter was in and 3 adults were watching music videos with no headphones on a phone. Wasn't exactly in a good place emotionally and so could have done without it but also wasn't in the mood for confrontation. If it had been kids I might have understood that they had been sent into the room to keep them out of the way but I think 3 people in their 20s should be able to cope without watching Beyonce for 15mins.

Mrsrp · 08/08/2017 07:51

I often give my little one my phone or the tablet when in places I don't want him being noisy. I always make sure he has the volume right down (imo half way is still way too loud!) because it annoys me when all you can hear is other people's phone noise.

DH and I went out for a meal for my birthday a month or so ago in this lovely pub, it was about half full so it wasn't overly noisy. This couple came in and the man started watching a Connor McGregor fight on his phone really loudly. You could see everyone getting really annoyed at him and he was totally oblivious! The waitress had to go and ask him to turn it down!!!! What a romantic evening he must have had with his girlfriend!

Cailleach666 · 08/08/2017 07:51

Nope, it doesn't bother me.

What does bother me is having noisy uncontrolled kids running around in places where they bother other people- like restaurants.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 08/08/2017 07:52

Does seem to be normal now.

PiratePanda · 08/08/2017 07:54

@Winterview everyone is sitting there seething at you, even if they don't say anything (it's Britain after all, the home of the passive aggressive silence). If she won't wear headphones, put your device on mute.

@JennyBlueWren - headphones. You can buy ones specially designed for children that don't go above a certain volume to protect their hearing.

Justdontknow4321 · 08/08/2017 07:55

Francis - if after Iv already said it's on low & you decide to challenge me with you don't want to listen etc your just get a straight no, don't know why you think people should back down because you decide to go on abit more! I don't want to hear people's convos about last nights tv but i have to!

My son won't wear headphones due to his disability, I also will not explain that to some stranger on a bus, I don't have to justify myself to anyone, if it's on low it's on low.

Witsender · 08/08/2017 08:00

I must confess that I have never seen it. Most people use headphones don't they? Doesn't sound like it, which is very unreasonable.

choochooo · 08/08/2017 08:01

We give my son an iPad if he's getting restless on long journeys but he's still at the age where we can just turn the sound off. I am with the op here - tinny electronic noise is SO irritating

Brittbugs80 · 08/08/2017 08:02

I went to the Cafe at the Emma Bridgewater factory in Stoke. There were two couples each with a small baby. I'd say they were under one. Couldn't walk, sat in highchair and fed from a jar.

Then the Dad's got their phones out, put Peppa Pig on and propped them on the salt pot for the babies to watch!

One of the Moms then said, "ooh super uninterrupted Mommy and Daddy chat" and clapped her fucking hands.

We occasionally do London by train and my child takes his DS but it's sound off in public.

DancesWithOtters · 08/08/2017 08:04

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Helipad · 08/08/2017 08:05

I was planning on starting a thread about this too. It's a real pet hate of mine too.

We were recently in a restaurant, waiting for a table as it was really busy. In walks a party that consisted of four adults and one toddler. Out comes the iPad with volume on full and all four adults inanely grinning around and watching the toddler adoringly. Four bloody adults that could have easily kept one child busy and amused whilst they waited.

We've used tablets since they first came out but if we're out, the volume's always on mute or headphones are worn. Our kids don't even question this as it's always been a rule. There'll be people with all kind of excuses why their devices can't be muted or why their kids won't wear headphones though.

Cailleach666 · 08/08/2017 08:05

I wouldn't give young children headphones- there is a danger the volume will be used at too high a level and can damage hearing.

HipsterHunter · 08/08/2017 08:07

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Sirzy · 08/08/2017 08:07

You buy children's headphones which have the volume limited.

ScouseAT · 08/08/2017 08:09

Justdontknow - I agree. If it's on LOW you are already being mindful of other people. Plus it certainly is not just children that use electronics. It's no more annoying than hearing other people's conversations, phone calls, having a child play up, etc. If you're not able to tolerate noise and want your own personal definition of 'peace' then best to stick to quiet carriages, libraries, churches or avoid public spaces.

Spikeyball · 08/08/2017 08:13

My child's sensory issues are so severe he will self harm and attack others because of the distress it causes him. So don't mock it. Electronics are on silent though.

MakeLemonade · 08/08/2017 08:14

Doesn't bother me because I also have the choice to wear headphones, lovely noise cancelling ones at that.

Even without them I would prefer dim sounds of Peppa Pig to a whiny bored toddler.

Butterymuffin · 08/08/2017 08:15

Children's headphones have a limit on the volume. And one person's 'on low / quietly' is another person's ARE YOU SERIOUS? Just use headphones. For almost all the children you see this should be fine.

Gran22 · 08/08/2017 08:16

I have grandchildren. They all play on tablets, phones etc. They all know to use headphones if other people are around, and have done from an early age. But their adults also interact with them so the tablets, phones etc aren't their only company!

I was having a quiet coffee mid morning, in a fairly empty cafe. Man and small child sit at the next table, he doesn't utter a word to the little girl, just gives her his phone to play with, with the the volume set at 'annoying'. Woman brings drinks, sits down, also doesn't speak to the child. I wasn't up to remonstrating, so I just left. Even sadder, to me, are the toddlers in buggies desperate for some attention whilst the adult with them (usually a young woman) ignores them, choosing to spend the whole bus/tram journey on her phone. I see it regularly. No wonder some small children whine and whinge!