to want a proper engagement ring and a wedding?

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I have been with my partner for about 7 years. I was married before for 15 years or so, 2 grown up children. He was with his ex for 20 years, 3 grown up kids. They were never actually married although she did call herself Mrs.
We live in a house we bought 50/50, jointly pay mortgage, bills etc. He earns more than me so puts a bit more into the kitty.
About 4 years ago, Christmas, he gave me a ring. Its very pretty. I put it on my left hand, and friends then congratulated us on our 'engagement'.
But he never asked me to marry him. When I ask 'are we engaged?' he says we are, but then says he doesn't believe in marriage. I tell him that if we are engaged, then that is a promise to marry!
Lots of people at work are engaged/having weddings.
A couple of months ago, I noticed someone at work had the same ring as me on her right hand - it was a birthday pressie from her kids!
By now I had given up thoughts of actually getting married so moved the ring to my RH. He never even noticed.

Recently, some close friends got engaged. She showed off her amazing ruby ring which they bought in Barcelona. The wedding is in September. Another couple got engaged - wedding is next year. I started noticing engagement rings more, and decided mine is definitely not one! I also read that the average paid for one is now around £1000 or even 1 to 2 months wages. Mine is the equivalent of a day!
I feel confused and upset. He 'says' we are engaged.
He will not set any date for a wedding. (I would only want a register office and a few pints down the pub type thing, nothing fancy).
My ring is not an engagement ring - I was actually embarrassed when someone asked to see it. I know this makes me sound like a gold digger but I am not - just want things to be 'right'.
So, AIBU to want a proper proposal and a proper ring?

Hi OP, i think he never intended for the ring to be an engagement ring - he probably just meant it as a nice present, but was caught between a rock and a hard place when you asked him if you were engaged - what was he to say - No and risk upsetting you? Wrong of him to say it was when he doesn't seem to want to marry you because he's sending you the wrong signals.

I also find it quite grim you say it can't be a proper ring because its supposed to cost a certain amount - utterly crass to put a price on the object which is mainly meant to just signal the intention to marry.

I understand where you are coming from - you want to be married to him, unfortunately i don't think he wants to marry you - he can't give you a date - this would be a massive tell-tale sign for me I'm afraid. If this is the end-game for you, then i think its fair you sit and tell him that this is what you want (though he should know by now!) and if he doesn't want the same its not going to work out.

Sorry OP - i hope you work it out.

I can't help but think you've ruined things for yourself here. I think you've embarrassed your OH and made him feel awkward when all he did was try and get you a nice present. He either didn't want to correct you in case you genuinely got the wrong end of the stick and he didn't have the heart to say otherwise or felt backed into a corner.
You've robbed yourself of the joy of 'the moment' if you ever get engaged now because you've already told people you're engaged to be married when you aren't.
YANBU for wanting the things you do from life, though.

He's not "taking the bait" but he's not answering her honestly is He? She's giving him as much opportunity to say no as she is yes. It's not hard to say no. It's not an engagement ring. Put it on your right hand.

This is the issue I have with it. He has not said yes (well actually he has but didnt seem to mean it) but equally he has never said "Look, I know you want to get married but it isnt going to happen". I suspect that is because he doesnt want her to leave so is dangling the "maybe" in front of her rather than a straight out "No" because he knows that that could mean she leaves.

I would advise the OP to have a once only conversation where he has to give a straight answer to allow her to decide her future. If its a yes then they set a date and if its a no then at least she knows for sure and can make a decision about whether to accept that or move on.