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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?

524 replies

PinkyPie2012 · 06/08/2017 23:55

We are invited to a Scottish wedding of a family member, my DS will be 2 years old at the time of the wedding. My DH is Scottish, I am not. Bride and groom are insisting all men must wear kilts including children. I personally do not like kilts, they are also not exactly cheap to buy, feels like waste of money to me especially for a toddler who will wear it once and then it is going to be too small. Shouldn't people be allowed to wear whatever they want or can afford to a wedding? AIBU?

OP posts:
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14
ClamBakeSnake · 08/08/2017 17:38

Exclude him from his heritage?

Such DRAMA!

clarehhh · 08/08/2017 17:38

Buy on ebay then sell on will be inexpensive.My sister in law wanted my son to wear one for her wedding.He was 5.He did not like the idea but luckily a big rugby playing type came out of changing room before him wearing one and then he was fine.Photos are adorable!!! Buy the long woolly socks and a cheap white shirt they do sell tiny school shirts .Look in girls and boys sections on ebay too.

Whiterabbitears · 08/08/2017 17:42

Its part of his heritage and its only for a few hours. I would have thought a kilt was easier for toileting anyway. I think you're being a bit unfair because what's your reason other than 'not wanting' him to?

bbismad · 08/08/2017 17:42

Yes you're YABVU and unfair to your partner and his family. It's one day a day and it's their culture... would be tight and a bit mean not to tbh!

KitCat35 · 08/08/2017 17:42

It is not ok for anyone to dictate to you what your child should wear. And if you want to be REALLY particular, then historically, kilts were only worn by Highlanders, not all Scots. As a Scot, I actually get really annoyed when non-Scots wear a kilt, as it feels like cultural appropriation. My father (Edinburgh born and bred) didn't even wear a kilt at his wedding as he was not a Highlander. Being less pedantic, your wee one is two and should be able to wear what is comfortable, practical and to YOUR taste.

SherbrookeFosterer · 08/08/2017 17:45

I'm afraid YABU. If his father is Scottish it is very important your DS has as much exposure to his cultural heritage as possible, and as often as possible.

ClamBakeSnake · 08/08/2017 17:46

If his father is Scottish it is very important your DS has as much exposure to his cultural heritage as possible, and as often as possible.

Well having a Scottish parent will kind of achieve that goal...

ClamBakeSnake · 08/08/2017 17:47

Wearing kilts to weddings is a very modern Scottish trend. I don't think a toddler wearing trousers will be bringing shame on his Scottish relatives.

bmbonanza · 08/08/2017 17:48

yes I think you are being unreasonable - its their day, if they want all men in kilts just go with it. why spoil it for them. get a secondhand one or a cheap one - not wool as it will be itchy

Craigie · 08/08/2017 17:48

Hire one and don't be a dick.

ClamBakeSnake · 08/08/2017 17:49

I bet you know all about being a dick.

Justaboy · 08/08/2017 17:53

It is important! Waay back in around 1949 my dad courted a cracking Scots lass but he asked her dad for her hand in marriage like yew used to but it all came down to wearing a kilt.

Seemed her father insisted that my dad wore a particular clan kilt tartan etc but no way was he going to wear a "bloody skirt" for her dad the relationship deteriorated from that point so Scotch lass was changed for an Irish lass no kilt required in her case!

The marriage lasted till death till them parted!

Sparklyglitter · 08/08/2017 18:02

My friend's husband and two boys wore kilts for her brother' wedding and they looked really great! They hired them - if it's really important to the bride and groom, it would be nice if you could go along with it, it's not the most annoying request ever but appreciate wedding costs can be expensive xx

Borodin · 08/08/2017 18:05

I hardly think it's "heritage" for two-year-olds to wear a kilt from day to day, and I think this is bordering on fancy dress. Do the dogs have to wear tartan as well?

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 08/08/2017 18:08

Also I am not expecting DS to be fully potty trained by then and if he has an accident that kilt would be ruined

I don't understand this, I can assure you it's approximately eleventy million times easier to use potty or toilet for a two year old in a skirt than in trousers. I do a little happy dance when my son chooses a skirt , gives him way more independence.

TennisAtXmas · 08/08/2017 18:09

Do the dogs have to wear tartan as well?
I'm guessing not, because they aren't people, and there's no tradition that I'm aware of, for dogs wearing tartan.

user1498983411 · 08/08/2017 18:11

Just buy a kilt off eBay or hire one, and yes you are not Scottish but you partner is and believe me he will be so bold over that you went to the trouble of getting one for your son, and it will make his family very happy, and remember Scottish weddings are just great fun as the men dance, I think it's something about wearing a kilt!!

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 08/08/2017 18:11

Borodin: Do the dogs have to wear tartan as well?

Are you comparing children to dogs?
No wonder so much gin on MN , I suddenly feel inclined to a stiff drink

FirstTimeMum07 · 08/08/2017 18:13

See what your partner thinks about it, if he's not fussed then see if you can come to some compromise with the bride about what DS wears, if it's a definite must because he's part of the wedding party then I'm afraid you're going to have to suck it up and put little man in a kilt, he will look so cute and you can probably get one cheaper on ebay

LizB62A · 08/08/2017 18:14

Your child, your decision.

Personally I think that putting very young children in "grown up" clothes is a bit odd, and I include kilts and suits in that.
Kids need to be comfortable so collars and all that faff is just not needed.
Plus, we've got so many allergies in our family that a wool kilt would never work !

beecrazy · 08/08/2017 18:17

I have a kilt and sporran for age 2 so if you live in or near East Sussex you can borrow it

Keeptrackbetter · 08/08/2017 18:30

I don't really like kilts on under 3's and I am a massive kilt fan generaly. You see their nappy all the time and they I think they look uncomfortable. You would definitely be able to hire one from the city where they wedding will take place if you do go for it. But your still looking at £50ish
YANBU bride & groom should only be able to stipulate the wedding parties outfits and even then they should be considerate.

Whiterabbitears · 08/08/2017 18:34

I disagree borodin it IS heritage and its not day to day, just for a few hours. I also think describing Scottish dress as 'fancy dress' is a bit rude. I'm not sure either what dogs wearing tartan has to do with anything, thats not traditional at Scottish weddings is it? Unlike men and boys?

user1498983411 · 08/08/2017 18:40

Your child your decision!! I think you will find it's there child!! It take two people to make a child not just one!!

iamyourequal · 08/08/2017 18:44

Dress your son in whatever way you like. I doubt anyone will be bothered. Im surprised the B&G are insisting all males are kilted. At Scottish weddings some men wear kilts and some wear suits,
depending on what they like wear - not what they've been told to wear. Enjoy the wedding!