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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?

524 replies

PinkyPie2012 · 06/08/2017 23:55

We are invited to a Scottish wedding of a family member, my DS will be 2 years old at the time of the wedding. My DH is Scottish, I am not. Bride and groom are insisting all men must wear kilts including children. I personally do not like kilts, they are also not exactly cheap to buy, feels like waste of money to me especially for a toddler who will wear it once and then it is going to be too small. Shouldn't people be allowed to wear whatever they want or can afford to a wedding? AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
RiverTam · 07/08/2017 13:42

No, I think we've lost what a wedding is about, it's about bringing your nearest and dearest together to witness you declare your commitment to another. And that the wedding is one day but the marriage is for a whole lot longer.

That. Is. It.

Only, for too many it's not, not at all. And those in the wedding industry are rubbing their hands with glee as the £££££££s roll in.

Seeingadistance · 07/08/2017 13:49

Demanding that all male guests wear a kilt is no different from demanding that all female guest wear halter neck dresses of a certain length and style.

It is controlling.

TeeniefaeTroon · 07/08/2017 13:51

I love kilts, especially kids in kilts. This is my wee boy at our wedding last year.

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?
Floisme · 07/08/2017 13:52

If it was just my own outfit, I would put their wishes first. I would still consider it controlling and - unless they were willing to pay for it - inconsiderate, but I'm a grown up and I have to option to decline the invitation. Where I draw the line is insisting on what a 2 year-old wears.

AvoidingCallenetics · 07/08/2017 13:54

To be fair to the bride, I doubt she is being drliberately controlling. She probably just thought it would look nice in the pics and hasn't given it any further consideration.

AuntMarch · 07/08/2017 14:00

Have not read whole thread, but I think it is unreasonable to dictate what people outside the wedding party have to wear.

wizzywig · 07/08/2017 14:04

I feel fir you op. My kids had to wear an outfit that represented their fathers culture. I bloody hated it. Especially because on any other day my inlaws run a mile from anything ethnic.

VestalVirgin · 07/08/2017 14:24

I sincerely doubt that two year old boys used to wear adult clothes in Scotland some two hundred years ago. I really doubt it.

Find out what children actually wore, and put him in a traditional Scottish dress for two year olds, is my opinion.

If that's a frilly white dress for both sexes, well ... tradition is tradition and must be obeyed, right? Wink

No, seriously, I get the bride wants everything to fit together for the photos, but some inobtrusive outfit that blends in with the tartan colours should suffice for that.
(Are the women allowed to wear what they want? Because I imagine bright pink dresses and the like would clash much more with the tartan than anything you can put on your toddler ...)

thegreylady · 07/08/2017 14:26

There you go

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?
Bemusedandpuzzled · 07/08/2017 14:49

I'm half Scottish and I bloody hate the whole kilt thing. It looks ridiculous. (I also hate top hat and tails).

MorrisZapp · 07/08/2017 14:54

Scottish here. I went to a wedding in America once, groom was Scottish so DP and his mates were all kilted, the single ones made out like bandits.

I've never seen anything like it. Toothy American 'babes' actually pawing at them.

Nobody had kids but a tot in a kilt would basically have been hailed as the new messiah and carried through the streets.

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh · 07/08/2017 14:55

Morris GrinGrinGrin

SoupDragon · 07/08/2017 16:19

It's hardly controlling behaviour! It will look nicer in photos if the men are all co ordinated, there's no getting away from that

How ridiculous. Of course it is controlling to insist guests wear specific clothing.

As an aside, the OP says the bride and groom are insisting on kilts yet somehow it all seems to be the bride's fault now.

MistressDeeCee · 07/08/2017 16:21

Christ could you imagine if the romes were reversed here and the husband WOULDN"T LET his wife and daughter were traditional outfits or any clothing of their choice!

Exactly.

But bigots who think English dress is the best and will call cultural wear stupid in true bonehead fashion won't see that..it'll be excuse after excuse to justify it . I bet the bride didn't "demand" simply requested but in true MN style of "I hate weddings especially the bride" any flimsy excuse will do for calling a woman controlling

Fuck knows what happened/will happen re your own marriages makes me wonder if 1/2 your female guests are on here bitching about you

MrsBobDylan · 07/08/2017 16:32

A kilt is the perfect potty training outfit, all the wee just falls out and no wet trousers to change just a fresh pair of pants!

I think you don't like kilts and are looking for excuses. Your son will grow out of the 'best' trousers too, nothing lasts more than five minutes for the first 10 years of a child's life.

LivLemler · 07/08/2017 16:35

I very much doubt doubt it's a requirement for every male attending - I'm guessing the DH is part of the immediate family. I'm not Scottish, but if I was at a wedding where the bride or groom was Scottish (as I was last year), I would probably assume that the men in their immediate families would be in kilts.

FrancisCrawford · 07/08/2017 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thatsnotmyrat · 07/08/2017 16:45

My DS wore a kilt to a wedding in Edinburgh when he was three, we could hardly walk more than two steps before another tourist wanted to talk to him or take a picture. He did look unbelievably cute. Kilts are pretty normal wedding wear in Scotland. This may just be a downside of having married a Scot! Thankfully my DH has not got a problem with his DS wearing them.

Floisme · 07/08/2017 17:02

'The groom will be wearing a kilt / top hat and tails / gold lame dress and a tiara. We'd love it if you'd like to do the same and we've attached a list of reputable places that hire them for a reasonable cost. But please wear whatever you like.
PS - Kids look really cute in them.'

Absolutely fine.
Telling your guests what to wear and how they should dress their children - controlling and inconsiderate.

KimmySchmidt1 · 07/08/2017 18:13

if you are saying no just because of some irrational but strong feeling you have against being asked to wear one then you are obviously being unreasonable and having a weird emotional reaction, which you would be best off putting to one side and maybe trying to understand better when you have more time to explore it with a therapist. Weddings are special events that are not about you.

If you have genuine financial or practical reasons not to help realise the bride's dream then that's fine and not unreasonable.

I think in your heart of hearts you know that it is the former, and that, being an irrational emotional reaction rather than a practice one, is unreasonable.

squoosh · 07/08/2017 18:19

maybe trying to understand better when you have more time to explore it with a therapist.

A therapist? Because she doesn't like being ordered to dress her toddler in a kilt?

Honestly, this fucking place sometimes and its snide faux concern.

squoosh · 07/08/2017 18:20

As they say in the dear green place, get tae fuck.

ButchyRestingFace · 07/08/2017 18:22

As they say in the dear green place, get tae fuck

AKA Old Carruthers. Smile

ButchyRestingFace · 07/08/2017 18:24

Honestly, this fucking place sometimes and its snide faux concern.

It's Kimmy. That was one of her least "interesting" posts.

TheScottishPlay · 07/08/2017 18:34

There will be a kilt line up photo. DH will be in it. DS wont.
[Op's greetin' face].