My girlfriend ditches my hen to go with husband to stag do: AIBU to consider dis-inviting them to the wedding?

[Restlessandwild]

Still trying to process but there it is. Last night was my hen do. Same time as my DHTB stag. All arranged long ago in my home town. Said friend invited to hen do, her DH to stag. They don't know my DHTB well but we have been friends since late teens (am 30yrs old). Her husband confirmed stag do attendance straight away. She made excuses (kids, etc) reg my hen. Today I find from other stags, etc that she actually tagged along with her DH with the stags?!? The only one there not a stripper and a wife, etc. Feel terrible, since they are essentially MY friends, but I had no idea. Just feel like picking up the phone and telling them to get lost and not bother coming to the wedding now... AIBU?

Totally cringeworthy behaviour, I'd be embarassed for her, but she clearly has the hide of a rhino.
I'm certainly more embarassed for her DH. He'll never live it down!

Yours etc
T.F.Lette (no relation)
SEME (Stock Exchange Membership Examinations) (partial)
Chief sub-editor (ret'd)

OFGS, who the hell has reported this thread! Get a grip.

fuck her shit up, OP.

kindly revert accordingly at your soonest convenience.

warm retards
Ms X Wife (country dancing badge, second in the space hopper race, kind of a bitch)

Massively rude. Sounds like an unhealthy case of co-dependency, and by all means check she is ok, but she should have just been upfront with you, instead of being sneaky. Her DP will never live it down that she turned up on a stag with him, I am embarrassed for them both.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can assist further.

Warm Regards

S. McTufty, MA, Brownie Hostess badge

She sounds like a pain in the behind.

My fondest regards and felicitations,
Dave GK, Blackboard Monitor (1984)

I would reply something like, 'to be honest, I'm disappointed that you, as my friend, chose to not be there to celebrate with me. I'm actually a bit worried about you - has dp done anything to make you have trust issues about him. I'm here to listen when you're ready.'

Hopefully something like that would make her feel guilty and like total shit at the same time.

Yours,
Mich

Honestly, just leave it for now. Have a think about it all after the wedding when you aren't as stressed out about everything.

Signed,
Random MN-user

I'd also text back - Niether of us are impressed with your behaviour and on reflection we are no longer inviting you to our nuptials - you showed disrespect to myself and DHTB.

Block ignore

For all her stunningness, she sounds very insecure , and I don't think she trusts her husband. Not wanting to do things separately is not the stance of a happy balanced person.
But her actions say way more about her insecurities than about her feelings towards/ loyalty to you.
I would let the dust settle, sit with your anger ( which I think is totally justified BTW), and if after your wedding and honeymoon you want to bring it up with her, just let her know his hurtful that was.

She may get it she may not, some people are not capable of being honest with themselves , or taking responsibility fire what they do
Sorry you've been let down, I hope you have the most lovely wedding.

OYIA cat hag in waiting

Oh that's so horrible if your wedding is so close.

Cannot believe anyone Martina would report this thread

Best
LB
Tufty Club Badge Holder 1974 (merit)

I can see why she has no other friends.

Kindest Regards
Motoko, CCS (Certificate of Customer Service)

Dont really have anything to add to the thread, just excited at the prospect of signing off.

Warmest regards,
M. May
Treasurer of Leonardo diCaprio Fan Club (1997-1999)

Sorry I know this is off topic but has everyone seen the thread someone did 'Who the fuck is MartinJD which has now been deleted 😂😂

Thank you all, I need some sleep and will come back to this tomorrow, hopefully a bit calmer and with clearer head!

She obviously doesn't trust her DH. She doesn't sound like much of a friend to you either.

Regards
S. Poster
Dennis the Menace fan club member 1975-
Runner up - inter-house general knowledge quiz 1982

This is mnhq message
Message from MNHQ: Against our better judgement, we've had to remove this thread as it simply isn't in the spirit.

Me too Mango
Bestest hugs
OFWIT
Queen of the fucking world.
(I really wanted to do a Daenarys- mother of dragons, the unburnt, etc, but CBA)

Yikes she's batshit, skin of a rhino or both. Something has to be wrong with a person to do this?

I'd have told her to fuck off but I'm not very tolerant of c*s

Hope you come to a conclusion that doesn't spoil your day?

Could she be jealous and just knew this would piss you off? Is she hankering after a ring?

OP get some sleep and some distance from this woman. If you want to keep the peace, let her come to the wedding and ignore her for the whole day. Don't let the stuck up bitch spoil your day. Congratulations.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs B Pin
Pregnant and hormonal

She sounds like a twat. I'd disinvite. You don't need that negativity in your life.

Best most wonderful loving wishes and kindest regards,
Miss Q. Everything
Library monitor, prefect, stationary cupboard monitor (I see you, ya thieving bastard teachers...) and devoted mother of two
Xoxo

Maybe she was not up for a big group of women she doesn't know rather than it being about you, and she knew you'd be busy doing hen things and she would have more chance of sticking close to her DP. Clutching at straws a bit.

Cheers Me Dears,
T.L.Socks, Master of Disguise.

Awww OP and for you
a tha ag iarraidh a h-uile thu as fheàrr
Vike x

I reckon she doesn't trust her husband. Which makes me feel a little sorry for her - what a way to live, always having to check up on your partner.

Regards,
S.D. Og

Ooh you know what I would want to send ( but wouldn't ) " Oh I guess that means you've found out about Bob then (insert friends husbands name ) " and then leave it there...no further explanation.

Congratulations for your wedding OP. It will all be fine....let them come since you probably won't see them much anyway and have a think afterwards whether you can be bothered with her. You don't need the drama right now. It's too stressful.

Not liking doing things separately?? But she manages to go to work and so on by herself? She sounds like a right arse.

No wonder she doesn't have many female friends, eh?

Yrs affectionately
T.R. Loch Ness Monster, MA, MLitt, M.A.R.T.I.N.Y.O.U.T.W.A.T.