My girlfriend ditches my hen to go with husband to stag do: AIBU to consider dis-inviting them to the wedding?

[Restlessandwild]

Still trying to process but there it is. Last night was my hen do. Same time as my DHTB stag. All arranged long ago in my home town. Said friend invited to hen do, her DH to stag. They don't know my DHTB well but we have been friends since late teens (am 30yrs old). Her husband confirmed stag do attendance straight away. She made excuses (kids, etc) reg my hen. Today I find from other stags, etc that she actually tagged along with her DH with the stags?!? The only one there not a stripper and a wife, etc. Feel terrible, since they are essentially MY friends, but I had no idea. Just feel like picking up the phone and telling them to get lost and not bother coming to the wedding now... AIBU?

And of course, disinvite her

two rings
PYKP, p.g.a.

I was on the fence about the disinviting, it felt it a bit ott but after that text I say dump the bitch. She clearly doesn't care about you and by the sounds of it SHE was the main guest with her dh as a sort of plus one. If she hates hen dos and couldn't face it it would have been simple to invent a prior engagement and neither needed to attend either do. Instead she has been incredibly rude , hurtful and callous. Not a friend imo

Hmmmm
annoying.
What does your DF say about all this?

I just feel like a complete idiot... She doesn't have many girlfriends, and over the years I have been one of her very few, possibly only one, GFs she's been confiding in. She's always insisted it's because other women are jealous of her (she is quute stunning) but that's never been an issue for me. But AIBU to think that even if she didn't feel that comfortable around my other GFs, she could have made the effort for me?

If she's normally a decent friend , I'd speak to her about it and find out what the hell she were thinking. I'd be miffed though, would also consider uninviting them.

Kindest regards

H.F. Halos (Maths Challenge Silver Award)

We don't no like doing these things separately? Why didn't she ask if he could join you all with her on the hen then. They are your friends after all. Disinvite her.

What's DHTB's take on it? Does he have any idea of why she chose to come along to his stag instead of your hen? He may be able to shed some light (once he's past the hangover!).

It's not a matter of "making an effort": she has behaved appallingly. attending a male only stag do is twattish in itself, attending one instead of a friend's hen do is unbelieveably twattish. Uninvite her and wedding guests can gossip about the dickheads.

I would text back:

"Clearly our friendship isn't what I thought. In all honesty, it's best you don't come to the wedding."

Mad Von Magsterbilt
1987 Junior Poet 2nd Runner-Up

YANBU- she lied to you then ruined your partners stag do. I wouldn't invite her to the wedding at all

Initially I did feel for her becasue I guessed she just felt terrified of her DH going on the stag without her there.

But (especially considering your update about her reply to your txt) I think it's inexcusably rude to give false excuses for not coming to your hen night and then go all Queen Bee and join the stag night.
Still keen to know what your df thinks

Exactly- she should have mad an effort.
Please don't mince your words, tell her that 1- they did mind but they were just too polite to tell her to jog on and 2-you mind that you considered her your friend and yet she has done this, and actually not everything in life is about pleasing yourself, sometimes you do things for others!

"All other women are jealous of me!" That old chestnut

Couldnt possibly be that other women can see her for the attention seeking self obsessed nightmare that she really is could it? She might be beautiful on the outside but in her case I think it really is only skin deep.

mind the roads
PYKB Patrol Leader (Bluebird Patrol)

After the latest update I have nothing to add to the thread but I wanted to sign off,

Absolutely bonkers behaviour. How does your husband to be feel about it?

R.J. (Cycling profiency)

What did your dp think about her being there?

Oops.

Yours sincerely,
Ms H.T. Diamonds, BComm, FCA

You're going to fall out with her anyway, just ask her straight up, has her DH been fucking about. Either you'll hit the nail on the head if it is it or you'll bloody embarrass the fuck out of her for being a dick if it isn't.

Rgds,

Her Royal Majesty of the Universe Queen Margaret the xvixviiiii

Martin's gettting lots of deleted posts for a new chap.

SWALK,

C Maniac, RGN (retired).

I'd reply:
You can't seriously think that all the boys were fine with you turning up on a stag do, just because they were polite and made the best of it. They were not ok with it, my DHTB was not fine with it, and nor am I.
If I was feeling mean I'd add:
Whilst everyone realises this was about the trust issues you have with your DH, that's no excuse to ruin a stag do and I'm cringing for you.

Some woman just see other woman as competition and all that matters is male attention. So if she dresses in a 'stripper' way, it could well be that she only sees the point of a night out to get male attention. A night out with 'the boys' would be perfect.

Lots of beautiful woman have a lot of female friends, but generally they are the type who like other woman, not just compete with them.

He said mean things earlier to me and suggested I only stay in 'hovels' not superior properties like him aka Martin 'the holiday inn massive' tj detweiler 'aren't I so great' sh

And his very tiny thanks......

Getting back to the real issue I just think it's rude if her and if she honestly felt like that she should have said.... and asked how you both felt. I don't believe her though.....

Maybe if yi dae a jobbie Martin, yer maw can wipe yer arse fir yi Martin

Regards,
F.shankly ba msc