To move out because of his attitudes to food?

[MuckyWindows]

I moved in with DP in May. It's been a fucking nightmare since as he just eats innapropriately and it drives me insane.

Example, yesterday we bought curry and rice, a packet of popadoms and a pickle tray from ASDA as a treat meal for the night as we were child free. We get in, start putting shopping away, I go back to car and then come in to see him munching through the popadoms whilst he puts the shopping away! When he sees me he gestures for me to tuck in. I say "what are you doing?? They were for tea!" And he replies "well it doesn't matter does it? It's only a couple of hours away" - it was 2pm!!i was really pissed off ASD I was looking forward to that meal and because he'd eaten them, the pickle tray was now useless.

He does stuff like this all the time! A few days ago he munched through a bar of baking chocolate that I had bought to actually bake with.

I follow a strict diet and so buy protein drinks and protein bars. I'm also vegetarian so need this stuff to hit my goals. Whenever I go to the fridge the drinks have all gone. He just drinks them one after another "because they're nice". I've explained that they are meant as a one a day thing and he just says "I know but they're so moreish!" With a stupid grin. This means there is never any for me.

The protein bars are expensive and you only get four in a box. They're meant to last me all week. Friday he ate one in his packed lunch, one when he got home from work and went to get one after tea. I snapped and called him a greedy cunt - he said I was over reacting. Since I've moved in here my diet is all over the place because there is never anything in. He eats everything of mine. He even eats my quorn stuff and he's not a vegetarian!!! It's stressing me out so much I want to leave. He thinks it's a massive over reaction and that I should expect to share food when living with someone but this isn't sharing, it's him eating every fucking thing!!!!

I think the OP is winding you up and watching you go.

Or she's taken the advice on this thread and has become a surrendered wife. 🤐

I disagree that the OP sounds obsessed with food. It isn't that strange to want to have some control over what you eat in the week. How many people are posting on MN about meal planning? A routine with food helps you to stay healthy. If someone comes along and messes up a routine you have had for long time it is incredibly frustrating. Oh and Quorn mince is no unhealthier than real mince.
Have you tried making a list of stuff that is just for you and pinning it on the fridge?

I think the OP is winding you up and watching you go
Very probably

He sounds more and more like Homer Simpson. Move out unless you want to be Marge.

There is a difference between sharing and taking everything that some posters do not seem to understand. My indulgence is poached egg on smoked salmon for breakfast. I buy the big packs of smoked salmon from Tesco but it is still reasonably pricey. This comes from the joint budget as does DH's many expensive bottles of wine so it more than evens out. Sometimes DH will fancy some smoked salmon and whilst it irks me because I think of it as "my" salmon and buy the right amount for week ,I try not to show it, as after all it is paid for jointly. He would not go on a food frenzy though, and finish the lot as he knows that it's my breakfast. That's the difference between sharing and taking.

Agree with the posters who say typical MN response OP you have good issues.

The point isn't the OPs diet, she's adult she can eat what she wants. It's the lack of respect from her partner.

I'm vegan in a house of carnivores, even my children know the vegan stuff is mine and not to eat it, they have plenty of other stuff they don't need to eat mine. Same with the OPs partner.

Agree with TheStoic...

I can't believe there are people that wouldn't call him a cunt after that poppadom stunt. Bin him off OP he sounds fucking disgusting.

Agree with TheStoic...

Greedy, disrespectful, no self control, what are you waiting for, run for the hills!
Don't forget to bake a big dog meat pie, before you go, and leave a bar of laxative chocolate in the fridge ! 😂

My teenagers do this, its really annoying, and feels disrespectful, like they're saying their wish to snack trumps my wish to have lunch for the week.
What has helped is putting labels on the food, Eg ' lunch- do not eat" so that ad they go to pick it up they are reminded that its not available for free snacking.
Keep your special stuff somewhere separate and labelled, and point out that you need to know that your own stuff is yours, that's its not communal.
And make sure there is communal food that he can help himself to.

Agree that the attacks on the OP's ways of eating are out of order. And I also think she needs to bake something with a big fat bunch of laxatives in it. (Or, as someone suggested; with DOG FOOD in it!)

OP, don't listen to the posters saying you are weird!

I have a GF diet and don't have caffeine either. My DW shares my treats if I offer, she doesn't snaffle them without asking. She tries to make sure that there are nice things for her to snack on and for me too.

As a PP said, it's the incident with the poppadoms that has made me bristle with irritation on your behalf. We don't have many ready meals or meal offers, but if we do it is a treat for both of us to enjoy together.

I don't think I could live like this. You certainly shouldn't be thinking of locking or hiding food away from another adult.

My children used to use this sort of behaviour as a weapon when they were younger; if we had 4 crusty rolls ready for Saturday lunch, (a meal we used to eat together as a bit of a 'thing) one of them would eat 1 of them the night before, or one cake from a pack of four. Then the treat would be spoiled as they would want to be part of the meal but had eaten their share. Then there would be an atmosphere of petty irritation. It's a very good tactic for pissing people off, especially if your brother has a rigid sense of fairness!

And make sure there is communal food that he can help himself to.

I don't think this should be the job of the OP tbh. It does seem though that convention dictates that in a heterosexual relationship it is the responsibility of the woman to make sure the man's needs are being met. I suppose this is one of those "mental load" things.

God, the number of concessions posters are suggesting for an adult man are ridiculous. Hide your treats, label the meals, buy him special things he can help himself to - fucking no! He's old enough to know better and be reasonable about it. I'm allergic to eggs and nuts, therefore the tiny number of puddings and cookies I can eat are off limits. Everyone else can help themselves to the many other things not bought specially.

Agree that people are missing the point with the protein bars/shakes.

When I was a lodger in a friend's flat, she (my 'friend' and landlady) would use my expensive wheat-free pasta and dairy-free spread (I had IBS and was trying to learn how to control it) then laugh when I asked her not to. She said she'd replace it but never did.

It's just rude and greedy and horrible. We're all adults, buy your own fucking food!

For what it is worth, I think that this is a control issue. The op deserves to be able to say " I follow a food plan for my health - please don't eat this particular food " and have that respected. The 'boyfriends' response of "but it's tasty" is so utterly selfish, it strikes me as almost a cruel goad on his part. I feel he knows exactly the difficulties his behaviour is causing the op - he either doesn't care or he's deliberately inconveniencing and upsetting her.
My dp and I have special treat foods - if they get accidentally eaten by the other, we apologise sincerely and replace said treat!
(What if the op had coeliac disease - would people still be bashing her? The basic principle is inherently the same.)

Op, has he ever apologised for eating your stuff or replaced anything? If not, I suggest that you move out because this isn't going to get any better.

This man doesn't respect you and he isn't bothered about upsetting you. He isn't prepared to stop eating your protein bars even when you've asked him not to. Don't waste any more time in this relationship with this selfish, greedy glutton.

I agree it is not the OP's chosen diet that is the issue. It's the selfishness and thoughtlessness of the partner.

Me and H work full time, commute and have two kids. We split the cooking so we each do a weekly shop for what we have planned to cook. There is very little flex in the week to rush off doing last minute top up shops for missing ingredients. It's a humongous PITA if it happens.

The DP sounds just like my dad. He would forage for snacks despite mum offering to pick up anything he wanted. He would proclaim that he didn't approve of eating in between meals but randomly eat colossal amounts of stuff that she had earmarked for meals etc but not tell her so she would go to make packed lunches one morning and find all the sandwich fillings gone, or one penguin biscuit left in the packet. The most bizarre thing was that he would guzzle the individual boxed drinks despite there being large cartons of the same juice in the fridge. If mum complained or asked him not to do it he'd say "well I was hungry" or "it's my money that pays for everything" our "you should be more organised about what needs replacing".
She took to installing a second fridge in the garage for stuff she didn't want him to raid. Ridiculous! That worked well until he found it ...

Gotta say, I'd be kind of hoping he did this with my no-added-sugar milk chocolate, that I eat a square at a time. There are three reasons I eat it a square at a time.

1. I want to make it last.
2. It does still have some sugar content so I don't want to fuck up my blood glucose by overdoing it.
3. If you eat it all at once you get a runny shit explosion 😈

I can relate to this... to a degree. When DH and I first moved in together it took us a little while to get into our food groove, particularly as he doesn't have a great relationship with food - he has no idea about nutrition, portion size etc, uses food as a comfort (which I totally do too) and is incapable of opening a pack of biscuits and just eating one or two - and has been overweight/obese since he was a child. I found it hard not get pissed off when he would scarf all the leftovers as a snack or finish off a bar of chocolate we were sharing after I went to bed. But it never made me consider leaving him, it was just something that we had to work through. Which makes me wonder OP what's really going on here - is this a symptom of something bigger e.g. your DP being a selfish arse who doesn't respect you, you getting frustrated that your life cohabiting isn't living up to expectations etc?

Missing the point but...

What brand of protein bar are you getting that taste like snickers?

The ones I've tried were all horrible.

OP - you could buy him some of these to snack on www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B004703WBI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_MXVHzbD012BE5?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Rude

@Shannith - personal attacks are not allowed on MN, I've reported your post.