Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move out because of his attitudes to food?

384 replies

MuckyWindows · 06/08/2017 08:28

I moved in with DP in May. It's been a fucking nightmare since as he just eats innapropriately and it drives me insane.

Example, yesterday we bought curry and rice, a packet of popadoms and a pickle tray from ASDA as a treat meal for the night as we were child free. We get in, start putting shopping away, I go back to car and then come in to see him munching through the popadoms whilst he puts the shopping away! When he sees me he gestures for me to tuck in. I say "what are you doing?? They were for tea!" And he replies "well it doesn't matter does it? It's only a couple of hours away" - it was 2pm!!i was really pissed off ASD I was looking forward to that meal and because he'd eaten them, the pickle tray was now useless.

He does stuff like this all the time! A few days ago he munched through a bar of baking chocolate that I had bought to actually bake with.

I follow a strict diet and so buy protein drinks and protein bars. I'm also vegetarian so need this stuff to hit my goals. Whenever I go to the fridge the drinks have all gone. He just drinks them one after another "because they're nice". I've explained that they are meant as a one a day thing and he just says "I know but they're so moreish!" With a stupid grin. This means there is never any for me.

The protein bars are expensive and you only get four in a box. They're meant to last me all week. Friday he ate one in his packed lunch, one when he got home from work and went to get one after tea. I snapped and called him a greedy cunt - he said I was over reacting. Since I've moved in here my diet is all over the place because there is never anything in. He eats everything of mine. He even eats my quorn stuff and he's not a vegetarian!!! It's stressing me out so much I want to leave. He thinks it's a massive over reaction and that I should expect to share food when living with someone but this isn't sharing, it's him eating every fucking thing!!!!

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 06/08/2017 10:44

You do sound a bit obsessed with food. But I agree that it's irritating your partner does this. Sounds as if you're just not very well suited.

ImperialBlether · 06/08/2017 10:45

The only way she's obsessed with her food is in that she is buying it and he is eating it.

How can anyone think she's the unreasonable one?

KinkyAfro · 06/08/2017 10:46

How is the OP obsessed. She's buying things that she wants to eat and doesn't get to eat them. That's nothing near obsessed FFS

AlternativeTentacle · 06/08/2017 10:47

OP, when he's out, make some of Deliciously Ella's energy balls and put them in the freezer. You can grab what you need for the day, they aren't in plain sight for him to see.

Why should she? She is in a relationship with a grown up, and he deliberately eats her food, knowing his is still waiting. He really is a greedy cunt and she is spot on.

2rebecca · 06/08/2017 10:47

He hasn't adapted to house sharing. He still sees all food in the house as his to eat whenever he wants.

TathitiPete · 06/08/2017 10:48

bagofdicks I'm sorry, I thought gout was fairly well known.

Gout is a form of inflammatory arthritis (so painful joints - usually attacks the big toe first) caused by excess uric acid building up in the bloodstream. A lot of protein often leads to a lot of uric acid.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 06/08/2017 10:49

Oh and you'll find loads of posters on here who think the idea of self restraint around food is a ridiculous expectation for an adult - many who will claim they can't cope with chocolate or crisps in the house, even if they are for the kids, because they must consume them and can't just tell themselves that treat food is for someone else. Every year there's multiple posters who have eaten their dcs Easter eggs and had to buy again, same with chocolates for Christmas.

It's horribly sad that so many adults can't cope with food stuff not being available to them.

Greed and/or poor impulse control are not desirable traits in a life partner.

ButchyRestingFace · 06/08/2017 10:51

Every year there's multiple posters who have eaten their dcs Easter eggs and had to buy again, same with chocolates for Christmas.

That's so sad it's funny. 😂

MrsOverTheRoad · 06/08/2017 10:52

2Rebecca or SHE hasn't adapted to living with someone where food is shared!

It's odd for a couple not to share. If he likes the things she buys for her "special diet" then they just need to buy more!

InvisibleKittenAttack · 06/08/2017 10:53

Oh and the op said she's on a restrictive diet - that doesn't mean she's trying to lose weight! She said she's vegan and also that she's taking protein bars, that's pretty common that vegans aren't getting enough protein and have to take supplements/really monitor their daily diet to make sure they get enough protein - there's no reason to say she can't have a curry if it's vegan though !

KinkyAfro · 06/08/2017 10:54

She doesnt get the chance to share mrs because he eats it all! And why keep buying more....hed only eat all that too.

user1495915742 · 06/08/2017 10:56

This isn't about the op's diet, it is about wanting to buy things specifically for her to eat later in the week.

If her DP wants the same then he should be telling to buy double or more but he's not. He's pigging out on her stuff because it's there. No regard for her feelings even though she's told him it upsets her.

I'd be very tempted to mix some cat food with lard, form them into balls, dip them in chocolate and leave them on the side. I'm just wicked though... Grin

AlternativeTentacle · 06/08/2017 10:57

It's odd for a couple not to share.

How is it sharing when he eats all her food and then all his?

Just wondering where her 'share' is?

And he eats a week's worth of her 'share' in one day. so are you saying they need to buy 8 weeks worth just to enable her to have her 'share'? Why is her 'share' 7 times smaller than his?

ButchyRestingFace · 06/08/2017 10:57

2Rebecca or SHE hasn't adapted to living with someone where food is shared!

If the OP was diabetic and could only eat diabetic chocolate (🤢), would you be saying the same thing?

OP is following a particular diet. As part of that diet she wants to eat protein bars which are expensive.

There is other food in the house. Why can't he eat that, or go out and buy his own goodies rather than plunder hers when there are other options available to him? Why doesn't he replace the protein bars?

He isn't following a particular diet - he just has a smash and grab attitude to food.

Backt0Black · 06/08/2017 10:59

Seriously.. shes asked him not to. He's still doing it and thinks it fine.

As for she needs to buy more for her 'special diet' NO. Hes eating the stupidly expensive protein bars /shakes because theyre 'moreish' and 'taste just like a snickers' he needs to just stop it. If diet and exercise is OP's hobby he needs to leave her stuff alone. What if mountain biking was her thing and he trashed her bike on a BMX track because 'its just so fun' Man child

PumpkinSpiceEverything · 06/08/2017 11:03

"Don't touch my fucking food" tends to work. Maybe label it with a "hands off greedy fucker" post-it.

Making said demands whilst holding the sharpest knife in the kitchen tends to get the point across.

theporcinegrappler · 06/08/2017 11:05

I agree with previous posters who have sent that you are incompatible, neither is wrong but there is no mutually acceptable compromise which can be had
I am very particular about food and I could never being a partnership with someone who had that gung ho attitude to food

Backt0Black · 06/08/2017 11:05

and as for him 'grinning' oh helllllllllllllllll no.

theporcinegrappler · 06/08/2017 11:06

Then again it does also sound as if he's trying to Sabotage your good healthy habits

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/08/2017 11:12

YANBU - move out, you're not compatible.

I hate people who eat selfishly like this.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/08/2017 11:17

invisiblekitten - that boy sucks. How very fucking horrible of him to take all his sister's treats and then get all his own! What a git.
Glad the parents have started using his pocket money to replace her treats!

Neutrogena · 06/08/2017 11:17

OP - do you love him with all your heart?

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 06/08/2017 11:19

That would piss me off too. DP is gluten free and I buy him expensive GF food only for the DCs to nick his GF biscuits. He doesn't actually mind, but I do! There are 100 other things they can eat, so why take the only things DP can eat and that cost me twice as much? If it were him buying them he wouldn't care and would happily nick other people's special food too (he nicked his DD's valentine chocolates, saying she's be happy to share. I went out and replaced them for her Angry )

I used to buy freshly squeezed orange juice and XH would complain about how expensive it was and then guzzle a pint of it, declaring it didn't taste any different to value OJ. So buy your own fucking value OJ then you OJ stealing bastard Angry I now buy it and savour it myself, the DCs know its not up for grabs! They have apple juice, tropical, mango etc. I have ONE thing - leave it alone!!

OP I'm with you - its not disordered to expect the accompaniments to dinner to be left until dinner time or to expect your health food not to be interchangeable with a Snickers, which would cost 1/4th the amount in a multi pack.

TheStoic · 06/08/2017 11:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ dor troll hunting. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OnionKnight · 06/08/2017 11:21

He sounds like a grade A dickhead, we have our own 'treats' or whatever you want to call them and in 5 years of living together neither of us has eaten the other's treats.

As for eating something meant for the both of you before tea he'd be out on his arse for that alone.

Swipe left for the next trending thread