Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move out because of his attitudes to food?

384 replies

MuckyWindows · 06/08/2017 08:28

I moved in with DP in May. It's been a fucking nightmare since as he just eats innapropriately and it drives me insane.

Example, yesterday we bought curry and rice, a packet of popadoms and a pickle tray from ASDA as a treat meal for the night as we were child free. We get in, start putting shopping away, I go back to car and then come in to see him munching through the popadoms whilst he puts the shopping away! When he sees me he gestures for me to tuck in. I say "what are you doing?? They were for tea!" And he replies "well it doesn't matter does it? It's only a couple of hours away" - it was 2pm!!i was really pissed off ASD I was looking forward to that meal and because he'd eaten them, the pickle tray was now useless.

He does stuff like this all the time! A few days ago he munched through a bar of baking chocolate that I had bought to actually bake with.

I follow a strict diet and so buy protein drinks and protein bars. I'm also vegetarian so need this stuff to hit my goals. Whenever I go to the fridge the drinks have all gone. He just drinks them one after another "because they're nice". I've explained that they are meant as a one a day thing and he just says "I know but they're so moreish!" With a stupid grin. This means there is never any for me.

The protein bars are expensive and you only get four in a box. They're meant to last me all week. Friday he ate one in his packed lunch, one when he got home from work and went to get one after tea. I snapped and called him a greedy cunt - he said I was over reacting. Since I've moved in here my diet is all over the place because there is never anything in. He eats everything of mine. He even eats my quorn stuff and he's not a vegetarian!!! It's stressing me out so much I want to leave. He thinks it's a massive over reaction and that I should expect to share food when living with someone but this isn't sharing, it's him eating every fucking thing!!!!

OP posts:
user1495915742 · 06/08/2017 10:17

YANBU

Does he have any redeeming features?

What are you going to do about it?

dollydaydream114 · 06/08/2017 10:22

Sigh. People who are sniping at the OP's diet are really missing the point here. If she is on a bodybuilding diet or very seriously into competitive sports then protein bars etc are pretty normal. And yes, someone on that kind of diet can still have a curry or a cake now and again because those sorts of diets often include a weekly 'cheat day'.

In any case, that isn't really the point. The point is that the OP has specialist food items that aren't meant as snacks and are expensive and important to her diet. Her DP has been told not to eat them and leave her with nothing, but he keeps doing this because they 'taste nice' and doesn't give a shit. People saying 'buy more protein bars for him too' aren't getting it: he isn't eating them because he likes them more than other food. He's eating them because they happen to be there and he is apparently incapable of putting ordinary snacks in a supermarket trolley. He says 'they taste like a Snickers' but can't manage to put a multipack of Snickers bars on the shopping list? He isn't listening to the OP, doesn't respect that she has diet/fitness goals and is being really selfish. What you personally think about how healthy protein bars are/aren't hasn't got anything to do with this.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 06/08/2017 10:26

IamalsoSpartacus I think we have the same ex.

SplatController · 06/08/2017 10:26

And the winner for the most ironic post ever on MN

I ended up padlocking my cupboard shut to keep [my boyfriend] out. Then I came to my senses and left the weirdo.

Honestly OP, you come across as a little unhinged. Perhaps he's a little thoughtless but I don't think the issues around food are his.

Dragongirl10 · 06/08/2017 10:27

I do understand where you are coming from, l follow a specific diet as l am prone to easily putting on weight, whereas my DH eats heavily ( lots of meat and potatoes ( though he is not overweight!)

I have a drawer in the larder cupboard which is for my ingredients ie nuts, almond butter,rice cakes, herbs, sugar free granola.

Neither my Dh or 2 Dcs take from here without asking, or l cannot make the lighter meals l like to eat.

Sit down and talk to him calmly, and make it clear this is how you want to eat, and have a seperate shelf for your specific items, then you can shop for joint food and snacks which he is free to help himself to. If he is incapable of doing this then maybe rethink whether you can live with him.

If it has been explained then he should respect this, if not then he will probably be selfish and insensitive in other areas too.
Yelling is not going to get him to take it on board though.

Good luck

blankface · 06/08/2017 10:28

OP, when he's out, make some of Deliciously Ella's energy balls and put them in the freezer. You can grab what you need for the day, they aren't in plain sight for him to see.

If he's fine in all other respects, tackle his selfishness and greed with food. If not, tell him his toddler like behaviour with food (seen it want it have to have it now) is the main reason you're not compatible, and end it.

mummytime · 06/08/2017 10:30

You can end a relationship for whatever reason you want - you can certainly move out because "it is not working".

But I do think you both have food issues. Your rigidity and all the protein bars and shakes - could you get some proper nutritional advice? From a trained dietician.
He just doesn't understand sharing and other peoples property. I would expect as time goes on this behaviour will show in other areas.

But as its just not working - just move out now.

ILoveGrammar0 · 06/08/2017 10:31

How is it her food issue?

Nobody needs protein bars/drinks. You can get all the protein you need from cheaper and healthier plant sources.

ButchyRestingFace · 06/08/2017 10:32

I'm aghast at the posters suggesting the OP has food issues. ShockShockShock

Whether she eats protein bars or deep fried mars bars is neither here nor there.

The issue is her partner's blatant disrespect and childishness.

She could always buy a small fridge with a lock on it, but personally I couldn't be arsed dealing with the hassle so early into a shared like together.

roundaboutthetown · 06/08/2017 10:33

It goes without question the man is selfish and insensitive. Just how nasty he is being depends on whether it is purely that he fancies your food, or whether there is an element of him deliberately messing up your diet in the process. Either way, he obviously doesn't understand why you have such an odd diet, so has no respect for it (or, therefore, you for following it).

RadioGaGoo · 06/08/2017 10:33

I don't think you sound unhinged at all OP and it's a bit strange to say you are the one with the food issues whilst completely ignoring the greedy snacking of your partner.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 06/08/2017 10:33

I've just remembered this Classic

"He's eaten a fat ball"
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a2017083-He-has-eaten-a-fat-ball

TathitiPete · 06/08/2017 10:34

My husband thinks he's a bodybuilder and used to knock back (expensive) protein shakes, protein bars, cook six chicken breasts and declare "they're all for me", make a six egg omelette four or five times a week. He got gout.

RadioGaGoo · 06/08/2017 10:35

The OP may have had trained dietician advice, hence the protein supplements.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 06/08/2017 10:36

"Nobody needs protein bars/drinks. You can get all the protein you need from cheaper and healthier plant sources."

Which OP's DP would probably then shove in his greedy face

eatabagofdicks · 06/08/2017 10:36

@TathitiPete what's gout?

InvisibleKittenAttack · 06/08/2017 10:36

Little story from our road this holidays that seems relevant....

There's a little girl down our road who's had lots of digestion problems and her parents have just got a diagnosis of celiac. As she's only 10 this is taking some getting used to.

Her mum makes sure she buys gluten free biscuits, cakes and chocolate bars so this little girl can feel able to join in having puddings and treats, and have something she can take with her on play dates so other parents don't have to work out what to feed her.

The mum still buys normal cakes, biscuits and chocolate bars for her older brother.

Turns out the older boy was making a point of taking the gluten free treats first. Eating as many as he could as quickly as possible, safe in the knowledge that "his" treats would still be there, and when the girl told him they were hers, replying "well you can have mine", knowing full well she couldn't. It was a way of making sure he always got the bulk and would not accept that he couldn't have something if it was depriving someone else. (Taking all his pocket money to replace his sisters treats focussed his mind, but as they only have one car his mum couldn't easily get back to the shop that sells the gluten free stuff to replace while the dad is at work with the car)

Basically your dp is doing the same, he won't accept that some things are to be saved for someone else. He knows you can't just have a chocolate bar instead of the protein bar, so by having it, he knows he depriving you of a treat food. But he feels he has a right to any food in the house.

(I bet he's the sort to eat your Easter eggs or valentines chocolates if you haven't scoffed them all within 24 hours).

He's greedy and selfish. Dump.

user1471596238 · 06/08/2017 10:37

dollydaydream114 Good post, couldn't agree more.

ImperialBlether · 06/08/2017 10:37

Oh god, another typical MN response to a thread.

OP: my boyfriend eats all my food that I buy specially to suit my diet.
Response: you have food issues.

It wouldn't even matter if the OP did have food issues - not that I think she has - he is selfish and greedy and inconsiderate. THAT'S the problem.

Whocansay · 06/08/2017 10:37

I think you are not compatible.
He would drive me batshit crazy, tbh. He knows what your food is for, but doesn't care. He's just selfish and greedy and is not listening to you.

justilou1 · 06/08/2017 10:39

Give him a bill for what he's consumed that you have to buy again!!!

happypoobum · 06/08/2017 10:39

I agree with Invisible I would dump and run.

JustDanceAddict · 06/08/2017 10:40

He's got no self control. I manage to stop the kids having family member's specific food stuffs for their needs and they are teenagers. Once I've explained, they're fine. Or if they really want something, they ask.
Not nice to call him a greedy cunt though. I'm
Not sure dh has ever called me the c-word although we've had some humdingers over the years. The poppoadum thing is annoying, but wouldn't bother me as much as him eating all the food, but I except that was the proverbial straw.

ButchyRestingFace · 06/08/2017 10:42

WHO DUCKING CARES WHETHER THE OP "NEEDS" PROTEIN BARS OR NOT?

That is NOT what this is about.

Even if she bought only raw cabbage for herself, he'd likely colonise that too!

Or is a woman not allowed to have anything for herself the minute she moves in with a bloke??? 🙄

He's a greedy, selfish muncher.

KinkyAfro · 06/08/2017 10:43

The OP can eat whatever the fuck she likes, she's not asking for advice on her diet so fuck off with the judgey posts. It doesn't matter what it is he's eating, it could be a full pack of ham, it could be biscuits, it could be mung beans....they are bought to last the week and greedy fucker is eating it all in a couple of days.

The problem isn't with OP here at all and I'm amazed at some of the responses here