Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - You don't bring a toddler to a hen do?

967 replies

whyhastherumgone · 05/08/2017 18:44

Okay, so maybe I'll be flamed by this but hopefully not.

Summary: I am organising hen do for good friend along with another friend of the bride. I don't really know the other friend, and I don't really know many of the other women who are coming because they're from different groups - ie her work, her old saturday job, her neighbour etc

Anyway I've worked really hard to try and organise everything - which is usually a nightmare anyway as people don't reply to confirm things etc etc, and have sorted out some activities etc and some lovely accommodation as well as dinner for one of the nights and a night out.

I've been out of action a little for a few days this week as I'm seven weeks pregnant and managed to get a bug that was going round, so I wasn't hot on messages and didn't see a few til yesterday.

The long and short of it is - despite everything being arranged, booked and paid for and taking place in two weeks, one of the women has now announced she will be bringing her toddler daughter and her partner because her daughter won't sleep unless she's there and her DP can't handle her tantrums when she gets hysterical, so they are both coming. DP will be there to watch her during the day at the accommodation, and they will all be coming to the meal on the friday night but we have to put the time back so it fits around her DD's feeding routine or something.

She also said she now needs a private room as she'll be with her DP and daughter - originally it's been organised in a beautiful converted barn and people are sharing, it was all previously discussed and agreed.

I'm a bit taken aback that I've just been told this - and the other woman who I'm organising it with has agreed - but it's too late for us to change the accommodation, I can't magic up an extra room and I think a toddler and partner at dinner is going to ruin the dynamic...

It's all a surprise for the bride so I haven't said anything to her as don't want to stress her out - my feeling is to go back and just say no, sorry this has all been prearranged as you know and this won't work....

Or am I being unfair?! I don't have children [yet] so I don't know if this is one of those things where actually people are going to say oh if her DD isn't sleeping then she has to work around that...

If it was a quiet, chilled out one then maybe - but there's going to be the classic hen do games, drinking games, a night out...it just seems a bit weird?

Gah. I hate hen dos. I'm going to be busy for the next one, washing my hair or something.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
S4RA · 06/08/2017 18:22

I've heard it all now. Ridiculous fecker.

Rachel0Greep · 06/08/2017 18:22

Wouldn't be surprised if she still tries to bring the child to the wedding... Probably dressed to match the bridal party Grin. Well done OP, and to the bride.

Aww I remember that thread where someone wanted to bring their child on a weekend away. I must reread it, I thoroughly enjoyed it at the time.

Organisedchaosalways · 06/08/2017 18:26

Just say no kids allowed as there'll be drinking and no men cos other women will be uncomfortable about it

treacletoffee23 · 06/08/2017 18:28

I was going to suggest l came in her place... but now she's gone and spoilt it. I will bring my 4 year old Grandchubbas to the Wedding instead....they're still babies really

KeepServingTheDrinks · 06/08/2017 18:31

I don't want to be difficult, but my DDog is quite upset that FenellaMaxwellsPony dog gets a limo whilst she's expected to rough it in the minibus driven by Squoosh. I'm happy (enough) to come on the minibus (I'll need to sit in the front, btw, in case I might feel car sick - I never have before, but there's always a first time), but could a small stretch limo be arranged for my DMutt, please? I quite like the pink ones, which are - after all, quite hen partyish.

Goingtobeawesome · 06/08/2017 18:33

altiara. Have you found your dog???

imjessie · 06/08/2017 18:34

Tell her to stay at home , I'd be furious if I'd spent money on a hen night and ending up sharing dinner with a toddler and her dad however nice and cute they were !!! Fuck that shit !!

chowmeinchick · 06/08/2017 18:42

I've just gone through this whole thread!

Travelling home on a 5 hour journey has been boring the shit out of me, but this has had me crying with laughter plenty of times while going through the comments.

Thank you so much everyone 😂

Demanding woman sounds crazy! Keep us updated OP, this is hilarious!

RandomMess · 06/08/2017 18:51

Shock how can anyone justify bringing any child based on the fact the brides/grooms new born niece is there!!!

squoosh · 06/08/2017 18:51

'I don't want to be difficult, but...'

Hmph, easygoing people never start a sentence with that! Fine, we'll find a pink stretch Hummer for your mutt but tell her no mooning out the sunroof and no defecating on the upholstery!

p51642 · 06/08/2017 18:52

nope. I'm at my parents for a Sunday roast I've read this out to my partner sisters and parents. total no to that from everyone.. my dad even said the husband is obviously controlling as hen dos are for women only and he is obviously just jealous not wanting to let her go alone.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 06/08/2017 18:56

...and she's STILL trying to take over 🤣

For the love of fuck, get her told!

'No need to worry about games DF, it's all in hand'.

Just keep closing her down or else she will try to take over & you'll end up battering her.

I'm not as nice as you - I'd be wishing all kinds of calamities. Nothing truly dreadful, just enough to to keep her home for the weekend.

Mapenzi · 06/08/2017 18:59

Are they sneakily trying to get a holiday? If they must,tell them to get a travel lodge and let her go back and fourth as she pleases....Jeeeez!! Some people love riding others 🤤😩

kali110 · 06/08/2017 19:03

She is a parent first and a friend second. She has her priorities right.
Oh yes, great priorities taking her young child on a hen night Grin
And to a wedding she's told she's not invited too...
No she has HER priorities sorted.

Shona52 · 06/08/2017 19:04

Never in my life have I heard such a thing 🙉🙊🙈

Just say sorry that's not going to fit in as it's just a girls thing and if you have to pull out we total understand. Never have I been to a gen do and someone's child been involved. Total unreasonable. Is there anyone else in the group goingvthat knows her. Maybe they can back you up with it all.

sheep73 · 06/08/2017 19:06

I got involved with organising a friend's wedding dress and it was such a nightmare I didnt go to the wedding in the end so I feel your pain.

No way is a toddler at a hen night reasonable. If she wants this arrangement the woman will need to organise her own (family) accommodation.

bluebellforest · 06/08/2017 19:07

Notforsale you are sooooo the demanding friend, get over yourself Grin

onemorecakeplease · 06/08/2017 19:08

What a nutjob! Well done OP for sticking to your guns!

justdontevenfuckingstart · 06/08/2017 19:14

I love my girls to bits, they're 19 & 20 now. Cannot think for the life of me even tho they now can drink and partay why the fuck I would want to take them with me.
And I know it's been said 55866893983 times already but whhhy???? who even thinks this is fun?

Partypolitics99 · 06/08/2017 19:18

Notforsale- are toy the women in question
Thought she would also be expecting to take said child to the wedding.
Glad it has all come out now Op
In response to the poster who asked about penis straws on my post- once I noticed I went to the bar and got them some normal ones, their mum was all over the stripper. I then took the kids for a walk outside until stripper had finished

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/08/2017 19:19

Keepserving. My ddog is now put out and wants his own stretch hummer. He's very partial to yellow. It matches his happy aura.

AIBU - You don't bring a toddler to a hen do?
KeepServingTheDrinks · 06/08/2017 19:22

Thank you so much, Squooosh. She'll try not to defecate, but if a girl has to go, a girl has to go. As for the mooning; her arse is one of her best features and she does like to share it with the world. The world won't mind as it is both beautiful and fragrant!

You will be cleaning the mini-bus before each journey, won't you?

MissesBloom · 06/08/2017 19:23

She sounds like a complete nob! Id be so worried about there being an atmosphere though I really hate stuff like this. You can just imagine her getting smashed and shouting her mouth off. How on earth did the bride actually become mates with her in the first instanceShock

SnugglySnerd · 06/08/2017 19:24

I can't believe she thought it would be OK at the wedding too!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 06/08/2017 19:26

sorry, xpost Littledragon

I hope your dog enjoys his yellow hummer. The pink will look better with DDog's coat, so they'll meet up there.

frets just realized, forgot to ensure all chauffeurs will be in peaked caps. Sorry, Dragon, must dash - need to have another word with Squoosh....

Swipe left for the next trending thread