AIBU - You don't bring a toddler to a hen do?

[whyhastherumgone]

Okay, so maybe I'll be flamed by this but hopefully not.

Summary: I am organising hen do for good friend along with another friend of the bride. I don't really know the other friend, and I don't really know many of the other women who are coming because they're from different groups - ie her work, her old saturday job, her neighbour etc

Anyway I've worked really hard to try and organise everything - which is usually a nightmare anyway as people don't reply to confirm things etc etc, and have sorted out some activities etc and some lovely accommodation as well as dinner for one of the nights and a night out.

I've been out of action a little for a few days this week as I'm seven weeks pregnant and managed to get a bug that was going round, so I wasn't hot on messages and didn't see a few til yesterday.

The long and short of it is - despite everything being arranged, booked and paid for and taking place in two weeks, one of the women has now announced she will be bringing her toddler daughter and her partner because her daughter won't sleep unless she's there and her DP can't handle her tantrums when she gets hysterical, so they are both coming. DP will be there to watch her during the day at the accommodation, and they will all be coming to the meal on the friday night but we have to put the time back so it fits around her DD's feeding routine or something.

She also said she now needs a private room as she'll be with her DP and daughter - originally it's been organised in a beautiful converted barn and people are sharing, it was all previously discussed and agreed.

I'm a bit taken aback that I've just been told this - and the other woman who I'm organising it with has agreed - but it's too late for us to change the accommodation, I can't magic up an extra room and I think a toddler and partner at dinner is going to ruin the dynamic...

It's all a surprise for the bride so I haven't said anything to her as don't want to stress her out - my feeling is to go back and just say no, sorry this has all been prearranged as you know and this won't work....

Or am I being unfair?! I don't have children [yet] so I don't know if this is one of those things where actually people are going to say oh if her DD isn't sleeping then she has to work around that...

If it was a quiet, chilled out one then maybe - but there's going to be the classic hen do games, drinking games, a night out...it just seems a bit weird?

Gah. I hate hen dos. I'm going to be busy for the next one, washing my hair or something.

Amazing thread!

I'm another no fun preggers bird! I would have fully allowed the crazy entitled lady bring her toddler after asking her not to and subsequently spent the entire weekend teaching it swear words! Yes I'm that childish and no I'm not ashamed

MsHoolies I love your cat!

Ah, that was a good Sunday morning read. I'm looking forward to this hen do more than any other & I don't even have to be there, brilliant 😃

Yes definitely a new thread if toddzilla acts up at the hen do!

Preferably including diagrams.

Fuck. That makes me feel a bit sorry for her actually. Do they know what's gone on?

Me too. Yes, she was completely unreasonable and in the wrong, but everyone ripping the piss out of her on the group chat seems a bit cruel. Maybe she's just one of those people who is truly clueless in social situations?

I hate hen dos but looking forward to this one

MN and the CF's are the gift that keep on giving.

CFH = cheeky fucker hen

Can you tell us the date of the hen do is we can be at home suitably dressed to 'partake'? and

Well done OP. I think I'd take her aside when she arrives and clear the air. Still be firm about why it was a no. If she behaves like a brat thereafter at lease you have tried.

I expect she'll throw a spanner in the works in some fashion. Too bad you didn't do a quick whip round of the other hens when she commented 'I've paid, we're coming' and send her a refund of her 'share'.

Handled amazingly op.

I read the thread expecting the woman to turn out to be a mner and going batshit on here

Wow what a cheek! Well done op. I hope she pipes down now.

@FenellaMaxwellsPony I just woke my sleeping baby up by laughing at your comment so " I'm not thrilled about it"! 😂😂😂

Things like pictures of their screaming children this morning captioned 'definitely not bringing this one along' or 'counting down the days to a child-free weekend'

that is really funny.

I think she's looking for a free family holiday at your expense.No Way !

Result. I think people like that push the boundaries because they imagine other people are going to roll over and just put up with it. Why do such women - and yes, it will usually be women - think THEIR needs are more important that anyone else's? Grrrrrr

Not too thrilled about it? Priceless. She shouldn't show her face, actually, after causing this moi moi moi fuss.

I don't see the problem with her bringing her child & husband along. Don't know what all the fuss is about?
Only KIDDING! That's fucking bonkers!!
Wow. Just Wow. She sounds dreadful.
Wasn't there another thread on here about someone wanting to take her baby on a hen do?
What's Wrong with people?
Best thread of 2017 👀

Glad you stood your ground OP!!!

WTF?!! What a weird and stupid suggestion. Would be rubbish for the toddler and awkward for the husband

I felt really awkward about the chat too - for anyone who missed it, I didn't directly say it was her but i did post a group message explaining no changes could be made and definitely no children and she left the chat. So i think they worked it out.

The no children hilarity seems to have stopped now - although think it was actually directed at me for bringing it up haha - i changed the subject to something else and normal chatting has commenced - Demanding Woman hasn't sent anything or joined in though. i feel sure she will hold me directly responsible but oh well!

I am meeting the bride for coffee later so will update if there are any details to be had.

Also for everyone who is coming along which I presume is all of you, i will need all your custom menu requirements asap so I can cater for them at no extra cost to you, at the expense of everyone else.

Pets are definitely allowed to roam free - in fact they should probably come on the night out too, no?

I don't know what her plans are for the wedding - I shall ask the bride...

Packs dd aged 1 and half a toy shop ready for hen night..

I've book a 42 seater coach for anyone who wants to come along and rubber neck at OP and Toddzilla's first meeting. Hens, hamsters, dogs, teetotal mothers, 'spirited' children all welcome.

The bus will be picking us up outside the The Dog and Trumpet. Don't be late.

p.s. please bring 'refreshments' for the journey. And maybe some lewd rugby songs.

What's the dress code, OP? it is essential it is something that co-ordinates well with my dog's brindle coat as she likes to always look her best. Also, she prefers the comfiest of sofas and beds. She doesn't mind 'sharing' [humans squeezing into the tiny spaces she leaves] as long as there's plenty of love and cuddles for her. She prefers organic steak and treats from Waitrose.

I'm on a liquid diet, but will eat a chocolate willy. I have a moral objection to strippers and refuse to be in a room where games of any kind are played unless it is agreed in advance that I can win them.